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I tried posting this blog before but for some reason it isn't posting so thanks to cactus pete's advice I'm going to just post the rest in the comment below... Thanks Cactus Pete!
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I tried posting this blog before but for some reason it isn't posting so thanks to cactus pete's advice I'm going to just post the rest in the comment below... Thanks Cactus Pete!
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This weekend we had a bbq and
This weekend we had a bbq and so FDH, Fss and I go to the mexican meat market to get some chicken to cook. We frequent this market and whenever we are they Fss will constantly ask me "How do you say this in spanish msg1986?" and I'll tell him and it's always a fun experience. Well this time I noticed while we were walking around Fss wasn't asking those questions, which I didn't mind. I usually only answer him when he asks.
Well as we were checking out FDH had to run and get charcol for the grill and Fss looks at me and says "I dont like these spanish people." it caught me off guard and I looked at him and said, "what did you say?" and he says again, "I dont like any of these spanish people." So I lean into him and say "that's not nice fss, you dont say that, you need to like all people." and then replies "well I like you msg1986 but not all these spanish people." but the way he said it was like he knew he shouldn't have been saying it in the first place.... I dont know if i'm jumping to conclusions but I think BM may be feeding this to him. (FDH, like me, is of hispanic decent and BM is of german decent and when they dated apparently her family and her would make jokes about him being "mexican" so this is why I'm thinking this is from BM house)
Also When FDH and I first started dating, Fss kept running around saying the N word. When FDH talked to BM about it she tried laughing it off saying it was funny. I mean I don't KNOW for SURE that she's behind his comments but he's 4 years old, where else would he learn that? It's all really sad. and I'm bugged with myself because I'm annoyed by Fss and I SHOULDN'T be, it's not his fault. smh
He must have heard someone
He must have heard someone say this. He might have commented on a difference but to say that he didn't like them must have been planted.
When my niece was visiting me when she was about 6. she got real quiet as we were out running errands. She finally said to me "it's really different here." When I probed a little I found out it was because the area I lived in was predominantly black.
She lived in an ultra liberal area - but one where blacks are pretty rare. It was not that she had ever heard anyone say anything bad but to her it was just so unusual that it kind of scared her. Her mother could not believe it but then thought about how isolated her life was from other ethnic groups. After that we all made it a point to help her be around a more diverse group.
Does he understand that he is part hispanic too?
Yeah that's what I thought
Yeah that's what I thought also as far as maybe him being uncomfortable however Fss is around mine and FDH's family a lot and who all speak spanish/spanglish so it isn't a new environment for him.
Well when FDH came back I told him what happened and when we got into the car and told him that he was half spanish (we are mexican american but FDH wanted to use the words Fss used so he'd understand) also and if he says he doens't like spanish people what did that mean and Fss "it means I dont like myself?" and FDH told that was correct and that he shouldn't say that about spanish people, white people, black people, any kind of people.
It's all so silly to me how petty BM can be. Once I was talking about Fss cousins from FDH's side and Fss says to me "my mommy says those aren't my cousins, they are my friends." I feel like she makes sure to tell him these things because she thinks he's referring to my family.