Just do not tolerate their BS when they are there. I would also, be scarce and keep my things locked up. This is going to get much worse. BTDT and have the damn t-shirt. Ultimately they stop coming and you get blamed for it.

Kids will play parents against each other. Your DH needs to not fall for it.

You ARE nagging, even if your nagging is for a good reason. Most good things kids and husbands accomplish would never have occurred without a proper nagging. However, there is such a thing as too much and then it isn't productive.

If your DH understands but doesn't want to feel henpecked, which is what I'm getting from his responses to you, then lay off for a bit and then go back to asking for more improvement after a time, while remembering to show genuine appreciation when there is some on his own. No matter how right he may think you are if he feels pushed around he may dig his heels in. Be careful.

I'd go even further and hang a few puppets from the ceiling with broken limbs and bandaids on their face. }:)

At this point, I don't think it will or has made a bit of difference.

It is like the kids said, Daddy Dearest let them run around like heathens until YOU were around to point out the error of his ways. So, no matter if it is HIS rules, YOUR rules or BOTH, it will be YOUR fault as a SM that you changed their daddy!

My DH is a bit of a pushover for the SDs in many ways, a total Disney Dad, but I know for sure that if they ever referred to me as "puppet master" in his hearing there would be hell to pay from him.
Similarly I would never allow my adult daughters to badmouth DH to me. But they never would anyway.

Oh my God, they are so disrespectful. They call him a puppet and you the puppet master and he just says, "Ok, that's enough, good night."

I do not think it went ok at all and probably having this discussion over Skype is not the best way to handle it.

He does not seem sincere about the rules, only doing it to pacify you, and they know that.

Now, if he was serious about wanting to put rules and guidelines in place because he wants to raise respectful, productive, decent human beings, he needs to explain that to them. That he's doing it because he actually cares about what kind of people they grow up to be. And in person, not at BM's place with her in the background. Then, he needs to stand behind what he says.

They seem to not have an ounce of respect for your DH. He seems ok with that.

i am the puppet master in my home and proud of it! before me dh had no rules and was a walking atm. much different now. and yes, it IS because of me. i'm not living my life in skids and bm's shadow. i don't give a shit. my husband is on board with me cause he WANTS to be. i've invited him to pound sand many times but he chooses to stay with me because his life is better with me in it than me not in it. it's not his kids he is building a future with. it's me. so, whenever they call you that, take it as a compliment that your dh puts his marriage first!

Well I'd probably play the Dominatrix role to the hilt since he's painted you this way.

Hint that you being "tough" with him does wonders for your "love life". }:) }:) }:)

This is where you find out if he means it disengage let him parent and you worry about you. Seriously he respects you so much it's under the bus for you before he'd be willing to parent, I call BS.

This is one of those conversation that was better just left as is. He wasnt sincere when he told them it was His and your rules, they know it is bullshit and they called him on it.

Personally I would disengaged completely let him deal with the demons. But dont do this the way I did and total withdraw and not defend myself. And see in hindsight I have been in this position and I never said a word. Hind sight is 20/20 if this was me and I had to do it over again I would call DH and the darlings in to sit at the table with me and Id be fast to let them know that I know about my little nick name and it would not be a passive aggressive approach such as playing a song.

I think it's a good start that he at least took this step, but it still doesn't sound like he's being firm enough with them. He's still letting them get away with being disrespectful. Kids that age who are being nasty and disrespectful need to be TERRIFIED of the punishment they'll receive for acting that way. I'm sorry but that's the only way they'll grow up to be decent human beings and not assholes. It's Dad's job to teach them this. He's not doing them any favors.

There is nothing wrong with being a puppet master. It means you have control of the situation whereas without the Puppet Master everything falls into a helpless pile. At least they didn't call you something far worse.

I would not say a word but go on with your expectations. It took my SSons 5 yrs to work out that leaving dirty kleenex around is germy and nasty. I would stand there in front of the TV while they complained and would just point and stare at them. After a while they got a clue. And when they whined to their mother... whatEVER! This is OUR house and chaos is kept at bay only by attending to maintenance issues and clenalinss.

FTR, I was the evil stepmother for a number of years. And I thought nothing wrong with that title. The Evil stepmother got the coolest lines in the script and was all powerful ... well for most of the movie!

Master. Master. Wheres the dreams that I've been after?

*jumps in with a smashing air guitar solo*