So tired of the lax standards for the skids.
These kids are literally expected to put effort into nothing.
I wash dry and fold the clothes....they throw them on the floor and dh has no problem with it.
They eat like animals and leave the table with food all over the place. They eat with their hands and talk with food in their mouths. They can sit at the table and chat/fight/fool around for half an hour before dh says anything.
Their rooms are pig styes even after being told to clean and dh never checks.
Toothpaste all over the sink, no one ever wipes it up.
Making their beds consists on throwing the blanket from the floor to the bed. In a pile half hanging onto the floor. Even when told to make it correctly its a mess.
Bs3, almost 4, has already mastered all of these tasks. He's 3 and they are 11 and 10. And at no point does dh have an epiphany moment to say "fuck, if bs3 can do all these things without reminders and being yelled st then the skids should be doing it, doing it better, and having even more responsibilities." But no. They are just kids and nothing more can be expected of them. I guess bs3 is just a child savant.... Maybe we should call Oprah.
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skids can be pigs for sure.
skids can be pigs for sure. But I do want to add something. My kids are 15, 13, and 11. They were neater when they were younger-that started to change around 9 or 10.
They entered the adolescence zone. They no longer seem to know where the trash can is? They do not recognize the dishwasher or its purpose so therefore they dont load their dirty dishes in it. Hangers? What are those? It is so much more convenient to drop clothes on the floor-that way they will be right there when they need them.
It is a constant battle to get them to pick up after themselves at home. One truthfully that I do not feel like fighting on a daily basis. So what I do is I pick a couple of times a week-and it is designated cleaning time. They have all the skills. they can vaccuum, load the dishwasher, take out trash, fold their laundry, mow the grass. They rock.
It's the compromise in our house. I dont feel like a nag on a daily basis, they dont have to clean every single day and the house remains at least "reasonable"
I know that you were just blowing off steam, I'm just saying I think some of this extreme laziness/messiness is normal around this age. However, your dh should be making them contribute to the household in someway. Perhaps you could stop washing their clothes? My kids, for the most part, do their own laundry.
They've never had these
They've never had these skills though. They can't eat without food all over their faces, clothes, table and floor.
I've been waiting for 7 years [5 of those with me teaching and mentoring, these last two I've given up) and they haven't improved one iota.
Massive effort to teach the skids and no progress.
Minimal effort to teach bioson and he makes progress in leaps and bounds.
The skids still put their shoes on the wrong feet....be stopped doing that 6 months ago.
I know exactly how you feel!
I know exactly how you feel! I am in the same boat. And its ALL ABOUT THE PARENTS. My SO and BM literally just adore their little moronic demonic offspring to the point where there mere breathing is apparently enough for them to get by. They are expected to do absolutely nothing. I am surprised they can wipe themselves....actually I don't know that they do nor do I care.
Some parents just don't care.
Keep your camera handy. Take
Keep your camera handy. Take the grossest picture of them that you can.
Then save them up for when they get on FB or start having friends over.
I would personally let them
I would personally let them live like pigs if that's what they want to do, if you can bear it.
Throw your stuff all over the floor? Don't come whining when you can't find it as it won't get replaced and I'm certainly not helping you look for it.
Your clothes are all crumpled and you look a mess? Oh well, if you choose to live like a slob you can suffer the consequences of looking like a tramp.
Food all over your face and clothes? If you go out looking like that you can expect other kids to laugh and people to think you're retarded.
They are the same age as my 2 younger skids - plenty old enough to to learn by natural consequences, and once other kids make fun of them or they lose/damage something they care about a few times, it might teach them a lesson. You've tried to do it the proper way, by trying to teach them to look after things and expecting them to follow simple rules, but they choose to ignore you so maybe it's time to leave them to it. The exception to that would be if they make messes in communal areas of your home such as the dining area, kitchen or bathroom, in which case their father either needs to clean up their mess or stand over them while they do it properly. There's no way you should be doing it or chasing them to do it - they're his kids and his responsibility.
I have had to do this with my dh and skids as it's the only way I can keep my sanity with three lazy, messy boys who like to live like slobs. Their rooms are disgusting and I never venture in there, and I really don't care as long as it doesn't attract bugs or make the house smell. DH knows I expect him to deal with their mess and most of the time he does, but he still needs reminders as sometimes he's oblivious to the little piles of fruit peel and snack wrappers all over the place, the coats and shoes strewn all over the floor and the disgusting toothpaste mess all over the bathroom sink.
I hate to think what kind of homes some of these skids are going to live in when they're adults - I certainly won't be having dinner at any of their houses unless they seriously clean up their act before then!!