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Entitled SD story from SM at hair salon today

Still Have Hope's picture

Submitted by Still Have Hope on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 3:41pm

Went to the hair salon for a cut and color today. Another SM was sitting in the chair beside me. There is something about the hair salon chairs that make a woman start telling all their personal business. Apparently her 14 year old SD moved in a year ago to make SM's life hell after BM moved in with a boyfriend who had no room for the skid. the skid skips school, gets in fights, fails her classes, refuses to do any chores... you have all heard this story before.
Then she gets to the good part. She and DH have a tradition to leave gifts on the breakfast table for each other to open first thing in the morning for holidays, birthdays, etc. Her DH got her an iphone5 for Valentine's Day and it was on the table with a red bow waiting for her yesterday morning. She loves it and thanks her DH just as SD comes down to leave for school. SD sees that SM got a new iphone and asks where is hers? Her dad says no new phone for you until your attitude and grades improve. SD throws a major screaming yelling fit like a 2 year old. SM left for work and DH had to deal with his devil daughter.
I told her she was lucky to have a DH who deals with his daughter instead of catering to her. I know from steptalk that he is a rare breed.

Comments

Still Have Hope's picture

Submitted by Still Have Hope on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 3:59pm

I think HRNYC is implying that it is DH and SM's fault for having a tradition that did not include the skid. If I had asked my dad for a gift to equal my mother's he would have laughed in my face

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:04pm

I was largely going to remain mum and read the rest of the comments, but, seriously?

You don't know what to do about it when a kid doesn't get a gift and someone else in the family does? You tell the kid to grow up and make them understand that just because one person got a gift does not mean they are entitled to a gift. There will be numerous occassions in a kids life where other people will get gifts when they won't; birthdays, anniversaries, other special days that don't include the kid. It sounds like the SM the OP ran into had this tradition with her DH, and that the SD was not involved in said tradition at all; it's entitlement that led her to expect a gift and over entitlement that led her to expect that her dad would have another iPhone laying around for her on V-Day.

I'm sorry but I think your suggestion that gifts that do not involve kids/skids be exchanged in private is ludicrous. If my SD lived with us when SO gave me my V-Day gift this year, and he told me to go into the bedroom to open it, it would have caused some grief unless he had bought me something meant only for adults, if you catch my drift.

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 9:17pm

If they don't get gifts, they don't need to be here. Even better. I'm getting great ideas from you today! *deep contented sigh*

msg1986's picture

Submitted by msg1986 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 4:22pm

I agree w/ dogperson Why should SM have to hide gifts from her husband in her own home, seriously now.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:13pm

I totally agree. If the gift was adult in nature, then, sure, exchange it privately in the bedroom, away from the skid. But, it wasn't an adult gift, it was a phone for his wife for V-day. But,I guess if HRNYC had it her way, all SMs would have to sequester every gift that our SOs/DHs gave to us unless our skids got gifts of equal or comparable value. And, if the skid ever sees these gifts, we should lie through our teeth about where they came from. Because someone has to think of their precious, little, entitled feelings.

Lulz.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:13pm

duplicate

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 4:20pm

That sends the message that SM has to hide her gifts from SD. Or that dad can't give one a gift unless he has something for the other.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:45pm

I'm so confused. I thought we were supposed to be taught to be happy for someone else when they received a gift? :? Is my family from Mars or what?

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:25pm

Yea, put the SKID in her place and tell her to stop acting like such an entitled brat!

msg1986's picture

Submitted by msg1986 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:43pm

Soooo are you suggesting that they never take this child to a Bday party perhaps because only the child who is celebrating their bday is the only one who will be opening gifts?

aggravated1's picture

Submitted by aggravated1 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 8:48pm

Oh no. She isn't suggesting that. Suggesting gifts be hidden only applies to stepmoms, which is something she doesn't have to worry about.

sandy1234's picture

Submitted by sandy1234 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 9:36pm

Why should we have to edit ourselves with our spouses when it comes to gifts just because SD is selfish? I was never like that-My Dad gave SM#2 gifts in front of us. They were married. It's how it is. You shouldn't have to hide the nice things you do for one another because of ANYONE. That is crazy to ask. Any normal kid would think, "DH and SM are so sweet to eachother.. that was nice of him to surprise her like that.."

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 9:28pm

as is always the case with you, that comment is full of wisdom. :?

ETA: oops. that was for a comment that was just deleted.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 4:02pm

SM got something and poor widdle SD didn't? that's just unforgiveable!

ETA : "where's mine?" nice entitlement there...

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 4:15pm

Since when are kids considered a parent's Valentine, my SO spoiled me rotten yesterday, my dd and her bf gave each other a candy bar, and my ds got cards and such at his class party. SO gave me my gifts in front of my kids neither of them would dare ask where theirs is. Sounds like jealousy and entitlement for sure.

msg1986's picture

Submitted by msg1986 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 4:24pm

Talk about an entitled kid, I'm sure if this was a traditional family and sm was her biomom it wouldn't have been an issue. She's fortunate to have a hubby who puts his kid in check though.

notagain2012's picture

Submitted by notagain2012 on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 5:17pm

Sorry, but this may sound childish, and I don't care. As much as SS brags and goes on and on about what he has, what he gets and what he wants... I will proudly display anything I get. I'm not hiding stuff that anyone does for me, inc SO, in my home so some brat doesn't freak out. Just not going to happen in my world. Life is not all about them, and they are not the only ones to get gifts when no one else does. Blagh...

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:22pm

Yea, I don't hide SOs gifts from SD. She's not around often, but, she's nebby enough to ask me where I get everything I have when she does show up. If she asks, I tell her, regardless of whether I bought it myself or if SO bought it for me. If she catches an attitude about it, that's her and SO's problem to deal with, not mine. I'm not hiding my things just because she might have a snit fit because she doesn't have the exact same thing.

Like, SO got me an iPad this year for V-Day, so, if and when SD comes to visit again were she to ask me where I got it, I would truthfully tell her that SO gave it to me for V-Day. I would not, however, stoop down to her level and shove it in her face the second that she walked through the door and say "LOOK AT WHAT SO GOT ME, SD! I HAVE AN IPAD!" as she is inclined to do with every last little thing that anyone gives her (save for the gifts I give her, of course).

And, likewise, I would never expect SO to hide/lie about the gifts I get for him, either.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:06pm

I hid a recent present. A dear, dear older friend (yes even older than me - old enough to be my mother) gave me a beautiful piece of gold jewelry just before SS came to visit.

It's a pretty major hunk of gold and at today's prices is worth a lot. Does anyone blame me for hiding a source of ready cash from the bum SS?

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Fri, 02/15/2013 - 7:15pm

That sort of hiding, I can totally understand and get behind. And if my SD were to ever grow pilfering fingers, anything i own of value would be hidden away from her, too.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Submitted by stepmomto3bioto1 on Sat, 02/16/2013 - 3:26pm

OMG!! This was by Far the most hysterical load of Bullcrap response ever given in the history of StepTalk "communal areas". Bwahahahaha! My DH caught me laughing so we read it together & died laughing!!!

Thank you for the amusement!!!! Holy crap!!!

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Sun, 02/17/2013 - 1:11am

Haha, I know, right? SO and I both laughed hysterically at the whole "communal areas" nonsense. I chortled when I read that, he asked what was so funny, and I shared it with him. He gave me a good, long side eye and said "Uh, seriously? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. The only gifts I would ever expect you to open in a non-communal area, in private away from SD are "adult" gifts, like your Easter basket. Anything else you would be totally justified in getting pissed at me for making you hide yourself away in the bedroom to open a gift". (Bit of context: It's a long standing tradition of ours that SO gives me gifts of an adult nature at Easter along with non-adult gifts)