Just SMDH ...

WTH! I do not even know why this surprises me!

SS is deployed and should be stateside in a few months. I am going to copy and paste his FB post from yesterday that he tagged DH and BM. Then please share your thoughts.

Mom and Dad!! I will be in Hawaii for a week next month for leave. They are letting me invite two people to stay for a week. Start saving money now, because I REALLY want it to be you two!! I will send details in a few weeks. Love you both!

Willow2010's blog
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:jawdrop:

SS is always trying to get

SS is always trying to get them together but this is over the top here. I told DH and he said he is not going to go. (No shit!) and then laughed like SS is just so cute.

I am just speechless at the moment. I don't know how DH can let this kind of crap continue. I would think it is time to tell SS that it would be inappropriate for BD and DH vacation together. DH will just say...SS just wants to be around both of his parents. You can't fault the little angel for that!

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:jawdrop:

Gross. Not even my dumb butt

Gross.

Not even my dumb butt SD27 would do that.

Exactly! I could see a

Exactly! I could see a little kid doing that, but not a 20 year old man. UGH. I do not know how to make DH see how inappropriate this kind of crap is. BM and DH have not been married for over 15 years. BM has been remarried for about 10 years.

Oh and BM’s response….”YAY!! You know I will be there!”

^^^THAT is what I'd do!

^^^THAT is what I'd do! }:)

UGH!! I am tempted. But

UGH!! I am tempted. But then poor little SS would get his feelings hurt and we can't have that.

This "kid" cannot still be

This "kid" cannot still be stuck on the happy family stuff. This post almost made me speechless. Something tells me who one exactly what he was doing..

And I agree, the fact that DH thinks this crap is cute, is ridiculous. He should call him out on his being just flat out disrespectful. And rude really, if BM has been married for 10 years? Wow.I guess she thinks its cute too. I guess SS will just have to settle for SD and bm. Hahaha or you get cook his goose, and make him choose mom or dad!

I'm sure the mature thing would be just to opt out, but man it would be tempting...

This "kid" cannot still be

This "kid" cannot still be stuck on the happy family stuff. This post almost made me speechless. Something tells me who one exactly what he was doing..

I'm sure the mature thing would be just to opt out, but man it would be tempting...

This "kid" cannot still be

This "kid" cannot still be stuck on the happy family stuff. This post almost made me speechless. Something tells me who one exactly what he was doing..

I'm sure the mature thing would be just to opt out, but man it would be tempting...

OK, I am probably gong to be

OK, I am probably gong to be crucified for this.....but if I was in ss's place I'd probably do the same thing. If he only gets two weeks leave and can only invite two people...what's he supposed to do? He wants to see both his parents before he ships back out again.

I get that it bothers you, and maybe there's more history that I am not aware of (repeated attempts to marginalize you and get his parents back together for example) but would it have been better to only extend the invitation to one parent and leave the other without then opportunity to see him?

When I take my kids back home to visit my family, I do have both my mom and dad (divorced) come on outting with us together. We even all went on a long weekend away last time(two hotel rooms). Otherwise they would each get to see their grandkids half as much.

Are either of your parents

Are either of your parents re-married? Maybe it would be different if his dad wasn't re-married.

Certainly being military, he should have learned to have some sense about respect. He's an ass for clomping all over respect & boundaries to get what he "wants". As we grow up we come to understand & accept that we don't always get what we want, & that it is anything but appropriate to ask someone to disrespect the people they're committed to for the sake of giving us what we want.

As we grow up we come to

As we grow up we come to understand & accept that we don't always get what we want, & that it is anything but appropriate to ask someone to disrespect the people they're committed to for the sake of giving us what we want.
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HMMM...I am going to steal this. THANKS! lol

LOL!

No, both my parents are still

No, both my parents are still single. Maybe that's the difference?

I wouldn't be hurt if either declined a group outting....nor do I have delusions that they should get back together. Its actually a bit uncomfortable for all involved, including me, but its the best option when I can only get home one week a year.

I just didn't see anywhere in ss's post where he said anything about his parents being together or anything. It just sounded to me lime his mom and dad are the two people he wants to see while he's home. I see it more as dad going to see his son and moms going to see the son and the two trips just happen to be at the same time. I don't really see it as them going together.

Heck, before we got custody of sd10 my mil had her. Dh and bm2 would fly together to go see her a few times a year and it never bothered me. Bm2 was afraid of the city and wouldn't use public transit so dh would go with her when she wanted to see her daughter.

Hon, He may only be getting

Hon,
He may only be getting two weeks right *NOW*, but US military accrue 2.5 leave days per month. To make sure our service members have the opportunity to use their leave, units have what they call block leave (in the army, may be called something else in the navy, but all branches have it). It's a block of time, typically about a month and usually (but not always) right around Christmas time, where they schedule no training and tell the SMs to go home.

I assure you that he has plenty of opportunity at other times to see both his parents for ample periods of time without trying to force them together. This "kid" is just being a jack ass.

Hell - I'm evil so I'd

Hell - I'm evil so I'd probably log on as DH and post:

"Hell no a week with your skanky mother would be hell on earth." }:) }:) }:)

LMFAO!!!!! You should do

LMFAO!!!!!

You should do this!

What an idiot, someone needs

What an idiot, someone needs a lesson in letting go.

:jawdrop: What is wrong with people????

Im in luuuuuv with your DH

Im in luuuuuv with your DH Hypo

spending a week with my ex

spending a week with my ex husband makes my insides shudder and he and I have a decent relationship and DH would probably let me go as well as his wife. The only person that would hold me back is....the ex husband. a week? oh hell no

My DD saw the post and told

My DD saw the post and told me that even when the ex (her bio) and I got along…she would never have thought about asking something like that, especially once we got remarried to other people.

It would be disrespectful to the other spouses.

And yes…DH will ignore I, until SS pushes it and then he will probably tell him he can’t go because he does not want to fly or because he does not have the money. He will not tell him it is because he does not want to spend time with BM.

If he told SS that, then SS would get all butt hurt and tell DH that he should love SS enough to be able to hang with BM like that.

He could ask friends or other

He could ask friends or other family...cousins, aunt & uncle, mom & stepdad, dad & stepmom.

Are you referring

Are you referring specifically to Willow?

I get what you're saying, but I think it depends on which member of ST is in the situation. It's hardly fair to make such a blanket statement. Some of us are plenty capable of breaking down a situation & recognizing the options.

I don't disagree that some of the SM's here would leap to that, but I don't believe Willow would be one of them. I can't imagine she'd be upset about her & her DH not getting the opportunity to spend a week with SS anywhere.

^^AGREED^^

then SM is going be on here

then SM is going be on here bitching how SS leaves out his father
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You don't know me. And no, I would not do that. SF is actually a pretty good guy and raise SS a lot by himself. BM went through a few years of not letting DH see the boy except EOWE and she was out partying/school, so SF was the one with the kid. DH would not even be mad if SS asked SF.

Please do not put words in my mouth again.

Yea…he could have asked MANY

Yea…he could have asked MANY other people. He has few friends but LOTS of family.

And this is not like he is going back on deployment. He gets two weeks of vacation then gets a military job in the states.

Per FB….He wants to spend his 2 week leave as follows. One week in Hawaii with BM and DH and the second week back home where he can see BM or DH whenever he wants. Bleck.

Holy.Shit.

Holy.Shit. :jawdrop:

I assume the point is just

I assume the point is just for all of them to be together. SS has always tried to get BM and DH in the same place at the same time, or on the phone all the time, in pictures together all the time. Just seems like he would have out grown it by now. And no...no GF at the moment.

SD14 was the same way. Up

SD14 was the same way. Up until the week DH and I got married, she was just dead-set on getting them to reconcile. After we tied the knot, she finally gave up. I was so hoping it would've come sooner but glad the day finally did come.

Your SS is 20. He needs to let it go already!

Train ride...LMFAO!!!

^^^^^Sign me up! I'm ready

^^^^^Sign me up! I'm ready for some firedudes in my life

Just make sure you dont have

Just make sure you dont have your fuzzy jammie pants, slippers, and bed hair goin on RWF lol

^^Oh but I would cuz that's

^^Oh but I would cuz that's my damn luck! LOL

hahaha, I thot that was only

hahaha, I thot that was only me lol. Misery loves company

If it means hot firedudes,

If it means hot firedudes, I'll gladly be "miserable" with you! LOL

LMAO It's time for me to see

LMAO It's time for me to see some firedudes dammit! Go play with your ex and your kid for a week.

Hell, I'd be willing to let

Hell, I'd be willing to let DH just fffing HAVE BM in exchange for 10 hot firedudes at my command!

Or peanut butter. I hear

Or peanut butter. I hear most BM's LOVE that shit!

Ya'all are killin me. I got

Ya'all are killin me. I got tears from laughing and my sides hurt

Oooooooo...Firemen!

because I know it gets hot in

because I know it gets hot in St. Thomas and I'm going to need some strong men to hose me down. Train ride anyone? It's the new normal blended family.

Nobody says no.
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BWAHAHAHAHA!!

I just have to ask - why

I just have to ask - why would her DH write SS back like that?

It's obvious that the stepmom is not wanted, why would he reply like that?
To force a visitation where they would all be miserable?
Or to cause a reaction in SS that would lead to a rude and disrespectful answer, something along the lines of "she's not invited"?

I just don't understand. Can you explain it to me?
What good would anyone get from that?

I agree with most of this.

I agree with most of this. Manners and respect are not learned by oneself, and even if they are learned, when emotions get in the mix, especially the unresolved and resentful kind, those same manners and respect and common can fly right out the window.

However, I do believe at a certain point, people need to look at others around them, and not just at their parents, for how they should act. One step further, I think people should look at themselves and put themselves in the other people's shoes before acting on an emotion stemming from unresolved issues.

I mean I say should, but most people don't, and it's sad. The whole issue, when you step back from being angry and upset about it, is sad. Sad because you have a manchild who doesn't understand boundaries and acts out of selfishness. Sad because you have someone, OP, who gets put on the receiving end of the action. Sad because, unless the kid works through his feelings somehow, this is going to happen over and over and over again ad nauseum, causing much anger and heartache and bitterness when there was no need for it to begin with.

Sad because his parents do not explain to him why it's rude and why it hurts people's feelings and why he shouldn't do things like this. Someone should comment (hopefully one of his friends) or talk to him about why it's inappropriate.

I think I agree with

I think I agree with sue.

Shitty for everyone involved, divorce is.

^^^Hypovic has it right on

^^^Hypovic has it right on this one.

At least in my situation. My parent's divorce was way better on my brother and I than them being together and either fighting constantly or faking being a happy couple (both of which they did regularly). If divorce is handled the right way, kids are EDUCATED not SPOILED by each parent and there's no PAS going on, it can be healthier than sticking it out "for the kid's sake".

It isn't always necessary to

It isn't always necessary to make the skids so wrong in everything.
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I honestly think it is pretty stupid for a grown man to want to vacation with his divorced parents. So Sue me. (I just had to do it!)

I see what you are saying. And I normally would agree with you to an extent. But SS is 20, not 10. And yes, this is mainly my DH’s fault for not wanting to rock the boat and JUST telling SS that it does not work this way in the real world. And BM does not know how to tell SS “NO” either.

That is the worst thing about having divorced parents. These kids do NOT get to live in reality. They are given everything they want when they want it. They are not told no. Then they start asking for really stupid things and expect not to be told no. EVEN AFTER ADULTHOOD. They have a skewed views of real life. Sad but true.

DH is still so scared that his son will not “like” him that he would rather not be totally honest with him than to upset SS.

I don't see divorce as the

I don't see divorce as the exception to acceptance
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Perfect!

It keeps him from having to

It keeps him from having to choose which one will come. If he invites one of them then he is picking favorites. He is expecting someone will back out - becasue well one will. Looks like it is going to be your DH.

Sorry you have been put in that place.

This isn't a graduation

This isn't a graduation ceremony where there are only two tickets and the parents might sit next to each other for a couple of hours.

It's a trip far far away (even if you live in California) for a week to a very romantic location. 24/7 for a long time. I'd say most people that are divorced would HATE that.

I really like my ex SIL and might wish that she and my brother were together - but I would never try to make them spend a week together 24/7. He has a lovely wife now and is very happy.

Maybe if somethings had been different they could have stayed together - but maybe if I'd invested in Apple years ago I'd be a billionaire.

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