Lying, cheating, stealing, being sneaky, and being disrespectful to adults.
So if you followed my previous blog you will know that SD got caught cheating on a spelling test on Friday. She lied about knowing that having a notebook on her lap during the test was cheating when Dh questioned her. She was grounded to her room Friday night.
Saturday we found out that she stole a ring from the lost and found at school so she was grounded for the rest of the weekend. No movies, no treats, no TV. Just her room and books and puzzles.
Sunday I wake up to find her in her room watching movies. Apparently she "forgot" that she was grounded for stealing even though her brother reminded her and just decided that she was going to watch three movies while DH and I slept. Not to mention all of the attitude she has with DH whenever she talks to him.
I told DH last night that when she returns she should lose her movie previlages on Friday and Saturday night because of all of her bad behavior. She did have to write sentences for being sneaky in regards to the movies but it only took her 10 minutes to do them. For me, I don't see this as being a very big deterint in the future in regards to her doing it again. DH of course disagrees with this and wants to talk about it later.
What do you ladies think? Am I being to harsh? I think her behavior is way out of control and she's only 8.
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Nope. Not being harsh.
Nope. Not being harsh. Unplug the tv in front of her and remove it. I've done this with my own bioson before. It is not too harsh. And it drives the point home that for every action there is a corresponding reaction. Your dh wants to "talk". Code for "I don't want to parent my poor widdle girl." Tell him HE is removing the tv in front of her.
REMOVE her tv and anything
REMOVE her tv and anything else she's grounded from to prevent her from "forgetting" she's grounded.
Your DH has his head in the clouds. This kid is only gonna get worse with these piddly punishments that DH doesn't even care to follow through with.
Too harsh? In my opinion, not harsh enough!
Yeh, talking will help, just
Yeh, talking will help, just like telling her no tv helped. As soon as my dh utters the words "I will talk to her about it" or worse "I talked to her about it", I stop listening and walk away. He is actually decent with discipline, but he falls into the "talk" trap a lot.
In the beginning of mine and
In the beginning of mine and DH's relationship, I heard that excuse a LOT "I'll talk to her". I finally asked him: "So when are you going to stop "talking" to her and actually DO something about her misbehavior?" Obviously, "TALKING" does NOTHING and she's getting worse...
I then asked him when was the last time she was truly disciplined. I mean, punished, for her actions. He said he couldn't remember! Ok, THERE'S the problem!!! QUIT talking and start DOING!
This was my SO in the
This was my SO in the beginning everything had to be "talked" about. SD learned really quick that sitting through ten minutes of his lectures with an apologetic look on her face got her off the hook. SO came away from the "talks" like he was FOTY meanwhile the piss poor behavior continued. It wasn't until he finally manned up and enforced consequences that she paid attention.
Now that is not even working the best. Every day I come home she is in his chair watching TV and half assing her homework. I told him she needs to learn study skills and discipline. He always argued that she got good grades (3.0) which to me is not good enough. She is a smart kid and could easily pull off 4.0 but she is lazy!!
So her latest report card shows up 2.58 so maybe I was right after all
Make a new rule - homework is
Make a new rule - homework is done at the table and the tv/cell phone/radio remains in the OFF position until said homework is completed and checked over.
Simple!
Yep new rule is homework done
Yep new rule is homework done at her desk in her room. No TV until we are home and have checked off her homework. Cell phone is gone. Now lets see if the pushover SO can stick with the rules. Because I am sure she is ready with all the excuses about how its the teachers fault that she is getting bad grades.
My DD tried that crap with me once and I showed up at the school the next day so we could conference with her teacher. I didn't even have to conference I was bluffing her. She fessed up real quick and realized Mom wasn't going to put up with her BS.
AWESOME!!!!!!!!! I'd have
AWESOME!!!!!!!!! I'd have done the same with my DD!
DH doesn't want to talk with
DH doesn't want to talk with SD about her behavior. He wants to talk with me about taking away her nightly movie provilages on Friday and Saturday night the next time she is with us. It has been proven with SD time and time again that if the punishment is not harsh enough she will just turn around and do it again. I really don't think that 10 minutes of sentences is enough to stop her the next time she is grounded. (I was actually going to make her do real sentences but DH thought that it might be a bit to much so instead I did four word sentences.) And I really don't see the big deal with it. It's just movies and I can guarantee that the next time she is grounded she won't "forget" that she doesn't get to watch movies.
I mostly lurk, but I had to
I mostly lurk, but I had to comment-real sentences are not harsh!I was writing 2 page essays (original) at 8. My weekly spelling sentences had to be at least 7 words long at that age! DH needs to stop being permissive. If it gets to a punishment being unneeded, it is supposed to be unpleasant from deterring the unwanted behavior from occurring again!