LOL I just read this post. I think youre expecting too much out of your man! you expect him to know the ins and outs of your soul?? sweetie that is way too much responsibility to put on a man; if this is what you expect from him you will only be disappointed.
I have a hunch that if he had gotten you NOTHING you would have been just as pissed.

OP I think whats not clear is a) how long you both have been together (as I find the younger the relationship sometimes the more clueless the partner) and b) what exactly you asked for, for your birthday (i.e. did you ask him to buy something romantic on top of the dishes or did you explicitly ask for dishes)?

Regardless, it seems to me as if you are paying for more than your fair of items and as a result felt you should be shown more appreciation through bf's gift. Personally I would not be happy with dishes for a birthday gift, nor the fact bf decided to celebrate your birthday on another day (sorry but wtf is that all about or am I missing something)?

Perhaps there is a thing about being too laid about stuff. It seems to me like your are really grateful for the smallest morsel of attention, focus on you from bf. You were grateful he brought you dinner in bed? Grateful wouldn't necessarily for the word I would use and its interesting to me that you use that.

I may be entirely off point about your relationship and what is going on, as I am do not know the details of your home life with bf and ss5. So forgive me if I am completely wrong, but if not then perhaps you need to consider the points I make.

You are 22, your ss should not be breaking your dishes to the point you only have a few left (wth?). You need to make it clear what your expectations of your bf are when it comes to wining and dining you and do so without guilt. A relationship is a two way street, and you should not feel pathetically glad when bf decides to do something he should be doing. By all means appreciate it. I do think you need to give bf pointers about things you want/would like. Dishes are not romantic but men are not mind readers, if your relationship is young then he may still be getting to know you, your likes. Yep, he could have put more effort into making things more special for you, I agree, so tell him and if he refuses to understand the fact he needs to make more effort (and it isnt about how much money he spends, but the thought and effort he goes into making things romantic, coupley and special for YOU. Replacing items his child has destroyed would not feature at the top of my wish list) then I genuinely think you need to start reassessing the amount of effort YOU are putting into your relationship.

Personally I would not be buying bf's gifts for him anyway (no matter what) because all that does is breed resentment and sometimes a dependency which is unfair. You need to be showing him how you wish to be treated instead of putting up with things that cause you problems/pain/resentment and then wailing about it. Trust me, been there and done that, all it does is cause more problems in the long wrong.

Wow. You just acted every bit of the 22 years old that you are.

You wanted perspective. I gave you some. You sat and cried like a baby because you didn't get what you wanted for your birthday, AND you picked a huge ol' fight with your BF over it.

Take my advice or don't. YOU were the one rolled up in a ball over your birthday, NOT ME.

You know what? A lot of times I think SAF is being a B****. Sometimes I do give her credit for some damn good advice. This is one of those times.

You don't like her response so you tell her to grow up and stop talking crap?

She is right. Your BF got you the dishes you wanted and served you dinner in bed on the new dishes. WHAT is your problem??? Sure, would have been nice if he'd given them to you early so you could have used them for the holidays but men don't think ahead like that.

You are being a whiny brat. Be happy that you got anything for your birthday. I've had plenty of them destroyed by skids and the ex who likes dragging him to court around then so that we can't go away for my birthday (yes, she knows when it is because ONCE we tried to re-schedule the court date because we had a trip planned. We had to cancel the trip. And it usually ensures a miserable birthday and most of the time either no gift or a last minute trip to the store gift because he's so entangled in her court bs that he forgets about it until it's here)

I feel like I know you a little better now
really from what you said, you sound just like my husband! he keeps everything in. im always trying to get him to talk, however he says that when he talks, I don't remember any of it, or I get mad at him for saying whatever he says.
from my perspective, this frustrates me because I feel that he only talks when he is BLOWING up after keeping it in so long. so yes I get mad when he is saying asshole thing lol,
I am trying to get him to talk more REGULARLY so that we can understand eachother before it gets to a breaking point.
I am currently seeing a counselor on a weekly basis, just so that I can learn how to communicate better with my husband, i.e. learn how to get HIM to communicate.
maybe if you bear through the discomfort of talking about your emotions, on a REGULAR basis, it may help. when something frustrates you, don't keep it in to avoid an argument. just tell him in a matter of fact way that it bothered you, and then drop it. try doing this more often. all he wants is some direction (if he is anything like me). its very hard to know youre doing something wrong if you don't even know that it bothers someone. how can he change his behavior if you don't tell him its wrong?

with that said, it sounds like im picking on you. I promise i'm not trying to. I think I can just relate to your BFs position.

hope this helps you