Forgot to clear the History!
BF asks me, "Why do you hate my kid?" Uh, I don't why do you think that? "Because you think she's a brat. I found that website you go to. Where everybody bitches about their skids" Great! Fanfreakingtastic. I start bawling my eyes out,
Yes, I hate your kid, so much that the other night when I put her to bed for you, I spent an hour and a half laying in bed with her just having girl talk.
I hate her when she says "Dad and Hullabaloo's house" and I say, "No, it's OUR house."
I hate her when I spend the last of my own money to buy her something for Christmas.
I hate her when I teach her how to play cards and then spend 6 hours playing with her because you are too busy watching football to spend any time with her.
I hate her when I buy special foods for her lunches, even though we are on a tight budget.
I hate her when I let her have the last serving of our meal even though I haven't eaten yet.
I hate her when I want you to fight for her, fight for your time with her, stand up for your rights as a father. Even called a mediator and a lawyer on your behalf. Willing to spend my money for you to fight for her.
I hate her when I get up in the middle of the night with her because she is sick.
I hate her when I help her with her homework.
I hate her when I brag to people about what a pretty good kid she is.
Yep, I really hate your daughter. No! I hate how she is acting more and more like her mother. I hate how you don't parent her and let her walk all over you and call you names when you ask her to do something. I hate how her mother has taught her that if you love me, you will buy me things. I hate that she is a typical 10 year old that is irresponsible, lazy, need and pretty self centered, but Hey, at least I realize that is typical 10 year old behavior, it's just irritating that I have to hide my frustration and God forbid I say anything. And yes, I hate it when she ACTS like a brat because I know she is better than that, I know and have seen her have a very gentle, kind and giving heart. I have seen her be helpful and generous. So when she acts out to impress her friends or to get your attention, I hate seeing her like that and having to remind myself that I can't do anything about it, because she's not my kid and her mother has made it very clear that she is not my kid, not my problem. I have to stop caring about how she turns out, because even though everyone, including BM's family, has told me what a good influence I am on her, BM doesn't want me having anything to do with her and it just causes problems.
So, I'm sorry that I need support from people that understand me and my feelings.
FYI, at least he apologized.
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Comments
I hope you actually told him
I hope you actually told him all of that!!
Not all of it, but some of
Not all of it, but some of it.
Yikes! That sucks! Thankfully
Yikes! That sucks! Thankfully my BF knows that I go on this site and he knows what it is for too. Heck, I have even read/told him about some of the posts on here and alot of times he agrees with what us SM say and think!
Don't ever be ashamed or hide your feelings. Be open and honest with your BF about how you feel. I was open and honest with my BF about my feelings about his kid, SS11 who I can't stand one bit and my BF understands and accepts my feelings and doesn't hold them against me and see/knows for himself how his kid is. He loves his son but he also knows how and what he can be. PLUS it helps that we are on the same page and communicate well about skid and skid related bs.
Communication/being on the same page is the key to making this step-situation work. I wish you the best!
Note to self in future:
Note to self in future: tweek internet security settings to clear all history upon closing browser. At least he apologized.
^^^^^^^this is a very good
^^^^^^^this is a very good tip^^^^^^^^^^^
also, NEVER save passwords to the computer because even if the history is cleared the list of saved passwords is there so he knows what sites you visit and your passwords.
I use Chrome and therefore
I do this because this is my private place to get out all the frustrations that I am not allowed to get out in my marriage as my DH is allowed to not like his kids or get angry with them but I am not, I am supposed to admire and enjoy all the chaos they bring into my life because I am the lowly SM.
I bend over backward for my skids and am told I hate my SS. I do not kiss his butt like BM and DH do, however I am never told I hate SD, however, they don't kiss her butt so I guess its just SS we are supposed to bow down to.
I am here to bitch about my SS, and the monster they are raising - DH doesn't need to be part of this because he sees no problem in what they are doing - therefore I cannot reason nor say anything without being in the 'you hate my son' category - so here is where I come to get it all out. Not for DH's eyes.
^^^^^^^^^^^I could not agree
^^^^^^^^^^^I could not agree more with this!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And quite frankly, I'm sort of at a "I don't really giving a flying f*ck if you see me on this site" point in my life and my marriage. I should be allowed to have some outlet for all the pent up anxiety/hostility I'm harboring without fear of reproach from my dh.
i agree, princess. i read and
i agree, princess. i read and post on this site with fdh in the same room as me, i don't care. if he would have stepped up and gotten his asshole kid under control in the beginning instead of expecting me to fix everything (by joining him in the head burying bullshit), i wouldn't have reached the point of needing a place to explode to keep from breaking his and his daughter's noses! her behavior and his lack of parenting is what led me here!
I had this same conversation
I had this same conversation last night. Exhausting.
I hate to admit, that my DH
I hate to admit, that my DH has called it 'stepbitch' in a fight before!!
So not supportive, but already had that conversation a while back!!
My bf has no idea about this
My bf has no idea about this site and I would never tell him. He already asks me if I hate his kid even if I simply leave the house a few hours while the brat is here. My bf would cry his little eyes out if he read some of this. How dare I talk bad about his special little snowflake.
I did figure out the
I did figure out the Incognito setting on Chrome, so that's what I'm using now. SO and I have pretty open communication, but as most DH/SO's are, he can be quite sensitive to any criticism about his daughter, even though he himself has been disappointed in her behavior at times and thinks she can be a spoiled brat sometimes. I have even approached him about his parenting or lack there of, but he immediately goes on the defensive. So, this is my outlet and I do more reading than blogging, but all of you out there let me know that I am not alone and that I'm quite sane for the opinions and feelings that I have. He doesn't understand the point of view of a stepmom at all.