How to do things with one SD alone?
I got an idea from tlane and oldhag - to separate the SDs and see how will they act because they may be only like that when they're together.
So I think it's a pretty good idea because they really probably are in a deal to act that way.
But, how to separate them?
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I agree. Separately the twins
I agree. Separately the twins are semi-tolerable. Together? F*cking forget it.
Can you and your husband each
Can you and your husband each take one SD and do something with them, and switch off? So your husband has time with each individually and you have time with each individually?
Honestly, my SD's (15 & 17)
Honestly, my SD's (15 & 17) are fine on their own, to my face but they will both tell horrid stories about me once they get home...I hope that your SD's don't play this way.
Personally, I'd start with the older one & invite her on your own or with your DH to attend any number of local things...
Not sure where you are but there are normally some kind of fairs going on or a new exhibit at the museum, or a new movie that you guys might enjoy with her, or even a nice lunch. Not something that would take all day, just a good few hours to start.
Once you accomplish it with the first one, move on to the second.
A good starting line is "I haven't spent much time one on one with you & wanted to just hang out for a bit", or "I need your help choosing a gift for (insert someone they know here??)" Hopefully someone (like their dad or grandparents, aunts? Uncle? Cousin?) is having a birthday.
Thank you very much for
Thank you very much for answers! You're really helpful, and supportive. I'm glad to know I'm not alone and I have people to talk to about this who have gone through, or are now going through, this kind of situation.
But how do we explain that we're not taking the other? To her AND to the SD that isn't going with us.
And if I go with one, and BF with another, how do we explain that we're seeparating them?