How old are the skid(s)? Maybe he is saving them for the kids??

Otherwise, he is a jackass and needs a foot in his ass.

We've all told you what we think ad nauseum; get out of this situation.

i would shred them, but it's not advised.

I went thru this. I found an entire trunk of pictures, anniversary memorabilia, cards, poems, and other nauseating bullshit that dated back to when they started dating at 19 in MY garage after we were married! Yep! They had been divorced four years and he still hung onto crap from when they were dating!! I emptied the contents onto our bed and and placed a shredder next to the bed. I left a note saying "Really? You Suck." It was promptly destroyed along with the wedding albumn he was still holding onto. He tried to say he didn't know that it was in there. Which is crap, because there were recent documents in there and photos of his son as well so obviously he had opended it within the last six months. Sell stupid somewhere else dh.

He may be saving it for the kids. This summer I cleaned out all of our photos and came across a few old family pics of BM and DH, SD. I set them all aside and asked DH what he wanted to do with them. He said send them to BM's house. So I set the pictures in SD's room and told her she can take them to BM's house or whatever- they are hers. Well for a while she picked one that was of her as baby with DH and BM kind of holding her in the middle of them hugging sideways to put out in a frame on her dresser. A frame I bought her. This really bugged me. I let it slide but then finally told DH I was not confrtable with that being displayed in OUR house. He was totally on the same page, but you have to do this tactfully for the kids' sake you know. So I got her an album and told her it was her special album and she could put whatever she wanted in there but that old pics of her dad and mom hugging was just not approrote to be displayed but that I know those memories are important to her so she keeps them in her album and I don't have to see it. Just ASK about them to you SO and see what he says, I wouldnt be mad. He had a life and a historu before you, otherwise you wouldnt have a Skid....

DH had pictures of his and BM's wedding and family pics for a while after I moved in. He had planned on giving them back to her but just ended up throwing them away eventually.

The only issue that I had was when we first started dating and he still had pictures of her hanging on the entry way of his home. This was after they had been divorced for seven months. He took them down shortly after that.

I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you seem to be looking for reason to be upset with your DF. I think it would be best if you'd put some distance between you and your DF and reconsider this relationship.

Old pictures aren't the end of the world. You're not married yet and considering where you found the pics, it may be something he keeps stuffing back in the closet because doesn't want to deal with it.

You haven't discussed this with him and you're making assumptions based on your own insecurities. You should at least ask him about it before getting your knickers in a twist. There could be a simple explanation.

And these photos are NOT yours to destroy or handle.

Sorry, they aren't your property to destroy. Don't do it, it drags you down to BM and skids levels and will make you look small and petty. If someone destroyed pictures I was saving for my kids, I'd be furious and probably end the relationship. Be gracious about it, it's got nothing to do with you. He's saving them for his kids. I would too if I were him. And that is perfectly reasonable. They should be put away, with the other dregs of his past relationship until the skids are old enough to take them. Then he should give them to his skids. If the skids aren't old enough yet, he needs to keep them because maybe BM might lose them or throw them away. The skids have a right to those photos, it only has meaning for them now, nobody else. I don't think it is a big deal. My DH kept dozens of old photo albums of he and the old whore he was married to (they were married 8 years before they split). He kept them until skid got her own place and he gave them to her, along with copies of old time photos he had of his ancestors. I got in there before DH gave them away and took out lots of the pictures I wanted of him when he was younger (without ex & skid in the shot) to keep for our bios. I had no problem with it-skid got some, our bios got some. My SD41's BM is croaked now, so those pictures have meaning for SD41.

Now if they were nekkid pictures, I'd have a problem.....

My parents kept pictures up in their home of my ExH and I. My DH and I were home for my mother's funeral and he saw them. Small obscure ones in a collage frame but I was kind of shocked. They also had photo albums with tons of pictures of my ExH in them. I asked my DH if he had an issue and he said "no, you had a life before me and these are the first pictures I've ever seen of you all together as a family." I cleared out pictures of my ExH right after my divorce (13 yrs ago) and never thought my parents would have them still on their walls. I've only seen one picture of my DH with his ExW, but I see her EOWe on pick ups. Neither one of us kept that stuff.

In the crawlspace of our home I have a very large photo of DH & I's wedding. I also have our wedding album. I planned to give them to my son when he was older, but now I think maybe I should get rid of the framed wedding photo. It is in a crawlspace where DH doesn't have to see it, but he knows it's there. I'm not holding onto it for any reason other than giving it to my son, but what is he gonna do with it? We're not a couple so a picture of us together is weird...

Back in the summer I went to my fiancee's mother's house in Tennessee and had to deal with pictures of him and his ex (never married but they have a child together) all over the house. They have been separated for over 2 years. It was disgusting to see. Especially the picture of them embracing right in the bedroom in which we slept. She apologized but I bet you she hasn't taken them down.

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't have a problem with this. If I was divorced and had kids, I would keep those things for them as well. Whenever I come across photos, I do like this: Is anybody but BM in it? If no, it goes in the trash. If yes, I put it aside for whoever is in it. Doesn't bother me. It was part of his life. Destroying the proof doesn't make that part of his life go away (as much as I would like to).

There was some stuff she left behind here - photos, letters, her wedding dress. At first I let SO put it in the attic. Well, I didn't want it there either. I ripped all the photos apart and put them in the garbage where they belong, along with the letters. I threw the dress in the dump! There are NO pics of her here and there will never be under any circumstances. IF she wanted this stuff to be handed down to the kids she should have taken it with. She took just about everything else!!!!

Do I feel bad that her daughters will not get their mom's dress???? HELL NO

I dont know. Early in our relationship I found a few photos of dh and bm as a family. Maybe 10 or so. Some of their wedding at the court house. Some of ss when he was a baby. They were in a shoebox in our garage. I didnt do anything with them becaue truthfully I couldnt care less about them. I looked through them, put them back in the box, and stuck them on the shelf. I dont know if they are still there, I honestly cant imagine him looking at them. I think I mentioned them to him and he said he was saving them for ss. Fine.

I have boxes upon boxes of photos and memorabilia for my first husband. he died when my kids were 2 and 9 months old. I kept it all to give to them.

I guess i dont quite understand the issue. The issue is not the photos-it's the insecurity you feel. The photos I found didnt bother me in the slightest (actually there was even a sex tape-i told dh to throw that away as I'm sure he wasnt saving that one for ss-even that didnt bother me-mostly I was just embarrassed for him that there was evidence of him having sex with bm!) I have absolutely no worries or concenrs that he will go back to bm so those things dont bother me at all.

I think you need to addres the real issue of your insecurity.

Frankly, I think you've answered your own question! Get the F out, there has to be someone you can go stay with for a little while until you get a job and can support yourself. You will never be 'the only one'...you will never be #1, it just doesn't happen that way when you have kids. Either suck it up and get used to it...or get out! By him telling you 'you can leave whenever you want to'...he is saying things won't change, get used to it and don't complain or whine or sulk...or leave...your BF said it best...you can leave whenever you want to!

I once found SO's wedding band hidden away in a closet. It upset me and just knowing it was in there gave me the creeps. But I asked him about it, he thought SD10 would want it someday.

Sometimes we can get upset about small petty stuff because there are larger problems we're not addressing. Just talk to him about the pictures.

love_my_shichi........I am so sorry for you. I feel your pain....it will never be equal...he brought a lot more baggage to the table than you did. It is unfair, that is why we have this site. We don't judge you.

((((((( hugs ))))))

Burn those ugly ass pictures!