Question about contact via phone with BM
So BM is under the impression that she can contact the kids whenever she wants even if it's twenty times a day on DH's time. She also told the kids that they can contact her whenever they want and however much they want on DH's time.
Is that correct? It's distruptive to DH's time with the kids. I know that DH can't withhold contact from BM in regards to the kids but is allowing the kids one phone call say at 6 pm every day for 30 minutes enough to fulfill the CO requirement? That's 15 minutes per kid. Can she claim that DH is contempt of the CO if DH is allowing the kids to speak with her but it's just not 20 times a day?
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It seems fine to me as well.
It seems fine to me as well. Technically DH is not withholding contact in regards to the kids from BM. SD usually always ends up crying and it takes forever to calm her down so if she is talking to BM repeatedly on DH's weekends both DH and I spend all day dealing with crying and freak outs. So DH doesn't get any quality time with her.
In my opinion kids should be
In my opinion kids should be able to go all weekend and not have to talk to the other parent. We've not had a lot of problems. (Our Bm is in prison) We now have full custody. When it was a problem for us we unplugged the house phone. Now we just use cell phones. But when BM use to call all the time raising hell and upsetting sd we put the phones on vibrate and didn't answer it. Of course there are those crazy Bm that have money to take DH back to court every time he pisses her off. We are lucky that is not our case.
Ours doesn't have the money
Ours doesn't have the money either. For some reason she thinks that she can contact them whenever she wants and vice versa on DH's week.
I think DH needs to send an email eplaining that he is setting aside a time everyday that she can talk to the kids but he is not going to be doing this whole the kids can contact you whenever they want and BM can contact them whenever she wants. This interupts his time with his kids.
I think he is being very reasonable. He is not stating that she can't contact the kids or that they can't contact her. He just making sure that it fits with his parenting schedule and limits her ability to upset the kids, which DH has to deal with.
I like your style Ripley.
I like your style Ripley.
Oh I'm the odd ball here. I
Oh I'm the odd ball here. I think that depends on alot of things. This coming from someone who just talked to her daughter for 45 minutes while she is on her Dad's time. What kind of BM is she, is she a PAS'ing mess or she she normal? I have had open 24 hour access to my girls as has their Dad. Open access to visit the kids, drop sporting equipment. Took the ex to my daughter pre surgery appt with us the other night to meet the doctor and have concerns answer. Drove in the same car. So it depends on the BM and content of conversation.neven when my girls were little I called after dinner and before bed. How was school, what did ya have for dinner, homework done, showers? Acceptable. Not acceptable PAS's control.
By the way. My daughter is
By the way. My daughter is upset and feels out of place at her Dad's. I have twins so I'll call them p and r. P is just like me, looks like him. R is just like him, looks just like me. Because P is just like me, she has trouble inderstanding her DAD. I divorced him. She cant. He is sleeping and princess feels ignored. She is allll teenager. One direction, boy crazy but 13 going on 16. Her Dad is clueless with her. But close with her twin whom i love just as much but she is much more math nerd oriented. I was encouraging her to be honest and open with her Dad. Actually when I was actively ending the call I was encouraging her to talk to her step mother who called me the other day and asked me to help P build a relationship with her. (Girlfriend has come to realize my kids are awesome and so is their MOM wishes she had this kind of relationship with her kids) we have had our problems most her being insecure. Wow after writing all that i feel kinda good about myself. Im a good BM. I do nice things and I have to pay for everything too? Im a damned saint. My ex is soooo lucky
So maybe not a hill I would
So maybe not a hill I would die on. Have you nicely asked her or mentioned it to her? Have you ever thought about just turning the phone off? Some times something simple can turn into a war.
I would offer a window
I would offer a window (between 5pm and 8pm) because not everyone can call at a certain time.
BM,
Please respect my time with our children. I am offering a window between 5pm and 8pm for you to call and speak to the children. I am sure you do not want to upset them or distract them from their time with me. So respecting each other's home schedule and not calling 20x a day would be the adult and courteous thing to do. I am sure you would not appreciate me calling the kids all the time while they are with you and I would not do this because is it very unfair to all parties.
Can we agree to this or would you prefer to get a judge to sign off on it?
DH