My fiancee still calls her "mom" MAKE ME PUKE.
Okay so I am being picky but things like this get to me. My fiancee was talking to his son this morning and said, "so is mom going to drop that video game off for you guys?".
WTF? That's THEIR MOM. why is he calling her mom?
- love_my_shichi's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
YEEEEESSSSS!!!! Ugh! BF does
YEEEEESSSSS!!!! Ugh! BF does the same and it absolutely repulses me I cringe every time. I've never said anything about it because I kind of have a tendency to let things that shouldn't, bother me. But I might consider it the next time it bugs me. I have never understood why he can't say "YOUR mom is here" instead of "Mom's here!!" Ugh nasty.
That's what I just told him.
That's what I just told him. I was like...EXCUSE ME, DON'T YOU MEAN YOUR MOM. SHE'S NOT YOUR MOM DUMMY. it sounds super annoying hearing MY FIANCEE CALL HIS XWIFE MOM.
Ummmmmmmmmm.....no
Ummmmmmmmmm.....no offense.....but how in the F do you want him to refer to her when he's speaking to his child?
She's your FSS's mom. Your FSS loves his mom. Your FDH is apparently keeping things balanced so the kid doesn't get stuck in the middle.
Get over yourself.
HE CAN SAY YOUR MOM. NOT MOM.
HE CAN SAY YOUR MOM. NOT MOM.
IT IMPLIES STILL BEING PART
IT IMPLIES STILL BEING PART OF THAT FAMILY. like when my mother comes over... Because he is my fiancee and my daughter calls her gran gran he now calls her gran gran. But that is not his wife anymore....calling her MOM is like calling me mom. It's wrong.
Like I said....he can say
Like I said....he can say ....is YOUR MOM COMING
I agree, I always referred to
I agree, I always referred to my childrens dad as "dad" there was no hidden meaning and I didn't want him etc... I did it from when they little and I guess nvr stopped... Thankfully no one cared lol,.... I still refer to him this way and the kids are grown. It's not a term of endearment, I promise nothing special... Just a habit. Nothing more nothing less. Hope this helps a lil. If really bothers you, talk to him before you build resentment. But I'm guessing there are some issues with ex or you already have.some issues regarding ex??? I'd be real honest and get it all out in the open. Otherwise it will drive you crazy. Good luck!
I know. I am being a dork. I
I know. I am being a dork.
I have a hard time picture myself calling my xhusband dad. NEVER!
I don't know why it annoys me. I scratched my cornea last night and my eye has been watering all day and hurts bad. Maybe that's it. And I still hate hearing him call her mom like that.
We went through boxes of Xmas decor this AM and I saw a framed photo of BM and SD 14 titled babies first Xmas. BM is big as a hippo and her hair looks like a melvin. I laughed.
Thanks for the kindness hugs
Thanks for the kindness
hugs back to you!
I bet the silly picture...is because the woman (if she cam be called that) is so absent that a photo is the only representation he will ever have of his mother. Sadly, my daughter has a picture of me and her dad on our wedding day, another one of the three of us all dressed up for a wedding when she was a baby...both on her dresser. This is because she has met him a handfull of times only and he is some pot smoking artist who ran away to live in Mexico to avoid child support. And no he's not Mexican....he's aryan as they come, he's just an irresponsible selfish jerk. Anyways....this picture is probably all your step son will have to get some ideas about her. And that's sad. My SO doesn't care that my xhusbands pictures are in her room....probably because he knows I can care less about the man and he's long gone.
And yeah....I do get all pissy about little stuff. I am a cranky step sometimes. I am meaner on the weekends.
Think people are just
Think people are just different in how they word it. For instance, my mum and dad have always said "YOUR mum/dad" and they're still together. Partner always says "YOUR mum" but think he said that when he was with her as well.
At the end of the day, BM is the mother to his child(ren) that doesn't change just because they're not together. I can say the next part because I don't deal with brats for skids, mine are incredibly well behaved so I'm all for parents getting on regardless of if they're together or not (even though I'm sure that opinion would change if they did treat me like crap). I would actually be afraid of looking rather petty by picking up on such a trivial thing.
Just think of how much worse
Just think of how much worse it could be, your skid could have a pet name for his father, like some of us have to deal with.
I can definitely see how this
I can definitely see how this is annoying. I was very worried that my own title as 'mommy' would be less important and shoved aside because BM was 'mommy' first. I worried/worry that my own BS2 will be confused when SD and him are together as she calls me by my first name while of course he calls me mommy.
Because BS obviously learned me as mommy, he knows thats who I am, but I then worried how DH would refer to me as when SD and BS are together with us, I wont be having DH calling me by my name to BS..
It happened the first time the other day, where DH was talking to them both and I was called Mommy, Im glad that SD is old enough to understand that they have different mommies!
You can talk to him about how this makes u feel, but its probably a habit so dont expect things to change. I even caught myself talking about BM as mommy instead of your mommy. Its hard, but I expect DH to call her your mommy too, because in this house *I* am mommy!
Girl... you're not crazy.
Girl... you're not crazy. This shit used to make me CRAZY!!! I finally called DH on it and he stopped. I also hate when the skids are talking to me about BM and they call her "Mom" instead of "My Mom". I actually hate when adults do this too...
Like, I have a coworker that will say "This weekend Mom and I are going shopping" or "Auntie and I are going to bake".
Wtf. They are not MY Mom or MY Auntie. No. It's a grammatical thing as much as it is just ignorant sounding to me. Sprinkle in the fact that I can't stand the skids or BM and it becomes and emotional grammatical thing.
I agree with the others that
I agree with the others that this isn't the right battle to be fighting. Kids refer to their parents each as "Mom" and "Dad" and generally not "My Mom" and "My Dad" when talking to their immediate family.
I inwardly feel a little awkward when I hear DH refer to BM as Mom when talking to SD21, but to be fair, I think half the time he does say "your mom" as well. It just depends on the conversation. It is what it is. If DH and I split up, I would probably do the same with our boys. Maybe as they get older, I would revert more and more to "your dad", but I don't know.
I think it's more important how DH is regarding BM the rest of the time. If they have an appropriate relationship (more like non-relationship), then it doesn't really matter how she is referred to. DH has NOT ONCE in the 6 1/2 years we've been together referred to his ex-wife by her first name. She has always been called "The Ex". When he talks to SD21, it's either "Mom" or "your mom". That's fine, but I'm comfortable with their relationship.
On the other hand, I'm not always thrilled with SD21 being called my sons' sister. If I'm in a mood, I'd prefer her to be called their half-sister (which she is) because I don't want any implication that they are fully related to SD21. I also hate it that SD21 says that when she is old, "her brothers" will take care of her. Um, no. But this is my issue, and not worth more than a grumble or a rant here on ST.
Does he realise that it
Does he realise that it upsets you? I only ask because I say that to my bios, like "hey guys, dads here!" I dont know if it upsets my SO, he has never said and I have never asked him, I can understand why it upsets you but its just not something i have ever thought about. Maybe your FDH hasnt either?