And Just When We Thought It Was All Over...BAM Mommy Dearest Raises Her Head Again

Forums:

And just when we thought it we were in the clear...BM has reared her head again...

SD turned 18 in September. She is a drop out. Not working although says she is actively looking for one. Lives with BM. SD enrolled in a program at the local high school in the town she and BM live in that is supposed to aid her in getting credits required for her high school diploma and to also help with finding a job - similar to a co-op program but not quite the same from my understanding.

SD informed us that it wasn't a full time program, that she would only attend a few classes a week. That does not constitute a full time program.

Because it isn't a full time program, CS stopped in September when SD turned 18. This per the law. And DH's new agreement with BM clearly states that DH is to receive proof of enrollment in a full time program and regular full time attendance.

BM contacted me (not DH for some reason) by email stating that DH needs to pay up. That SD is enrolled in a full time program and went on and on about what it is about and how it works and that DH need to continue paying CS and owing for the past two months. And that he needs to pay up by end of this week otherwise her lawyer will go through FRO (Family Registers Office) to begin the process of garnishing DH's wages. She also attached a letter of confirmation from the school stating that SD had been attending school full time since the beginning of October. Like what the actual F...???

DH called the school and found out that SD is enrolled in this program but that this is program that they build for her and that it hasn't started yet (something to do with no job to put her in???) therefore she hasn't been to school yet.

So BM just called up the school secretary and asked her to send a letter stating that SD was going to school but she actually isn't??? The letter does not confirm the program or even that it is a full time program at that (which she needs to do per the agreement). But it lies and states that SD is going to school full time?

I'm flabbergasted. Totally blown away right now. That this digusting piece of flesh is threatening DH over something that isn't even true???

Of course I have not responded to BM's email. And won't. Over the past almost two years any dealings where she is concerned has only been via lawyers. We are waiting for our lawyer to call us back to determine next steps.

When will this ever end??? UGH!!!

Ugh

I agree, let your lawyer handle it. Perhaps he can threaten BM about false allegations.

Takes Time

We had the same thing....took about a year for BM to realize she had exhausted all her options of stealing money from us. Lord knows the majority of the child support we paid never made it to the kids. SMH

Our situation was a bit different...BM wanted us to "pay" for things like doctor visits, etc. since we claimed SS. Wrong. Once he turned 19, CS was over and we did NOT claim him. He needed to claim himself. SS was NOT in school...in fact, we were the ones who got him into a GED program by offering a used car. SMH again. But per state law, we were done regardless of what SS chose to do. CS ends at 19 in my state.

In your situation....let your attorney handle it.

When a hydra raises its heads

When a hydra raises its heads, cut them all off. Upon 18th birthday or HS graduation whichever is the later CS ends. For a drop out. 18 & done is often the case. Nail BM the wall by her short and curlies and tolerate no bullshit. SD has chosen her path and as an "adult" she needs to walk that path. If she were 18 and a full time student in good standing with her HS it would be a different situation. As an 18yo drop out, welcome to adulthood and accountability young lady.

I would take the good luck, write when you find a job position with SD if I were your SO.

I was on the HS five year plan. I had two Sophomore years. I learned, repeated 10th grade and graduated at the top of my HS class at 19yo. My come to Jesus moment was when my parents informed me I would repeat my 10th grade year and the rest of HS at Military school. I refused. They wrote me a check for $500 and told me to write when I found a place to live. Since I was 16 I could quit school if I chose to quit school. I held that check for a few minutes to weigh my decision then handed it back. Dad got on a plane back home, mom and I got me to school.

Too much coddling is destructive to kids and they often need a proverbial foot the ass wake-up call.

It worked for me.

Tolerating a manipulative X should never happen regardless of the age of any CODs in the mix. Role up the CO and smack the snot out of them when they try this crap.

Let your lawyer handle it. If

Let your lawyer handle it. If she needs a letter that states the name of the program and that it is full time but the letter you received doesn't state that then they have not provided what is legally required.

Sic your lawyer on BM and

Sic your lawyer on BM and block her from emailing you.

I would normally agree with

I would normally agree with everyone who says "let the lawyer handle it." Except, the school lied. I would go right to the school and ask them to prove that SD HAS attended and the dates. When they say she hasn't started yet, tell them you want a letter stating WHEN SD starts the program, how long it lasts and how many hours per a week she'll be attending. If they are resistant, let them know your attorney will be in touch.

What the school did was WRONG. However, I'll bet you dollars to donuts, if she took you to court, some judge would still side with her, UNLESS you have an updated letter from the school clarifying facts.