You are here

OT My SIL’s friends. “HCGG”

MissK03's picture

"HCGG" aka High Conflict Girl Gang

I’ll start with I’m not really close with this SIL. We are “friendlier” now but not close by any means. No one in my family really cared her from the beginning. She was just very controlling and my brother did/does whatever she wanted. They have been together since they were 20 and they are currently 32. She broke up with him in 2019 and broke the kids heart… then they got back together. I was outcasted because there was a family group text and I kind of called him out on it… clearly she got mad etc. So I didn’t see them basically for two years. I saw them for the 1st time after they got back to together a few days before their wedding in 2021. 

 

Since then they have nephew almost 2.5 years and niece 7 months. 

 

Every time there is an event and  I see these particular friends… yesterday being one of them.. They are always incredibly rude and completely standoffish. Like their sh*t don’t stink attitude.. and just think that they’re better than everybody else. My brother can’t stand them as they were equally rude to him. One is just extremely loud obnoxious that type the other one is quiet and just gives you dirty looks and won’t even acknowledge your presence or anything. Loud one has a bf who moved out of state and the other has never had a SO. 

 

So what tends to happens is it becomes a competition with who’s going get the most attention from my niece or nephew. Obviously, my niece is still a baby so she can only do so much …but now that my nephew is 2.5 years old and running around you see the struggle even more... they almost fight for his attention. Every time he’s walking by “nephew name nephew name!!” The loud one will talk in conversation like she IS the parent. Commenting on what he does, his personality just all aspects of the kids life.. 

 

They will take over holding, feeding just everything with the kids when they are around. They basically horde them from other people. 

 

I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s bizarre… A lot of my friends have small children and I’ve helped raise 3 myself (they were 8,11,12) so not little but I’ve never seen friends do the stuff they do.. 

 

Also… my SIL is in too all the matchy themed shirts for events. At both of my nephews bday parities they had “aunt crew” t shirts on. SO and I just laugh. 

 

I get it’s nice having close friends and it “takes a village”

But this stuff is just wayyyy over the top IMO. It’s not like these girls are even nice people. Not to sound “mean girl” I sense jealousy too. 

 

They just live vicariously through her it seems and it worship the ground she walks on. 

Comments

MorningMia's picture

I don't know if it is so much much high conflict, but definitely girl gang. Lol. How old are these people?
My DH has a great saying and attitude that is perfect for these situations: "Hey, it's your world; I'm just passing through." 

MissK03's picture

They are 32. That is a perfect saying for this situation!! I may use it in the future haha. 

Rags's picture

The beauty of the defective character of these types is that it does not take much to spin them up. So, make exploding their skulls your goal and keep spinning them up.

Figure out what gets the little kid's attention and do that so that the harpy twins lose their ever loving minds and make that your hobby.  Play these same tactics with anyone and everyone the toxic harpy twins try to manipulate.

Enjoy!

Diablo

MissK03's picture

Nephew is very social and will bounce from person to person. It's hard describe what this girls do.. I tried my best.. they have to have it be known who they are.. almost like the are the "best auntie"  like how HCBMs act to show they are MOTY! 

I really think it's more of a competition with me when I'm around. I could care less too haha. 

Rags's picture

"Go see Aunty Hag and Aunty Witch before they start crying. They need to feel special."

Evey time they pull their shit. 

Get them focused on each other and watch the fangs and claws come out between the two of them.  Play them like the cheap instruments that they obviously are.  When they go after each other it will scare the shit out of the kid and he will run like the wind to stay away from them.

Diablo

Dirol

thinkthrice's picture

Seems they never made it past middle school.  Does nephew even enjoy this harpy fest?

MissK03's picture

Oh they did NOT make it past middle school AT ALL. He really just does his own thing and will run around wherever. 

Harry's picture

What goes on with them should not take up mind space in your head .   Try to keep contact to a minimum.  There are "family". And you need to keep in touch.  Once or twice a year is enough.   You have to live your own life.  
'it's a balancing act, you must pull. With a little weight to SIL. much more weight to you 

MissK03's picture

They don't take up any space in my head. They are my SILs friends. I see them maybe twice a year. It's just whacko how they act when I am around them and how they are with my brother's kids. 

Survivingstephell's picture

This is relational aggression.  I bet that SIL told them all about your opinions and comments so she hatched a plan with them to keep the kids from you and any other opposing family members.   
 

It always amazes me how some women never grow up.