This is a long one, but I need to vent..I've been with my bf for about a year now, he's divorced with 3 adult children. 2 daughters, 21& 24 and a 27 year old son, I don't have any kids. My bf is very giving, and is always willing to help someone but it also gets him taken advantage of. His 27 year old son still lives at home & he allowed his cousin, also in his 20s, to move in because he lost his license & car in a DUI crash. His cousin's stay was supposed to be temporary, but it's not looking like it. For a while my bf son & cousin were pretty much running his house...smoking, drinking, having friends over & it practically turned into house parties. They were bringing random girls to the house and my bf didn't always know about it. The final straw was when I spent the night & my bf and everyone else left for work. I thought I was home alone but while I was eating breakfast, some random girl came walking downstairs from his son's room said hi to me then left. I told my bf that really bothered me, along with all of the smoking & noise being made in the house by his son & cousin. He said he was sick of it too, I told him it's time to put his foot down, he spoke with them & it stopped for a few weeks. His son started seeing a girl regularly so the traffic stopped with the randoms. One Sunday my bf and I were relaxing in the house, his son came home with his gf..next thing all these cars start pulling up and they're having a little get together in the backyard. One of his son's friends walked in from the backyard, didn't speak & went straight into the kitchen helping himself to my plates & bowls I had in there. I went up to him and asked him what he was looking for and if he wants something use plastic not my glass dishware. I told my bf about it he seemed like he didn't want to be bothered with it..so I snapped at him and he eventually got up and spoke to his son & friends. That was the last time his son & cousin had any company at the house. Now all these two do is sit upstairs in their rooms when they aren't at work. They don't help my bf do a thing around the house, they still smoke cause I smell it often, but they just deny it when my bf confronts them about it. My bf gave them until the beginning of August to move out, it's almost September & the two of them are still here. His cousin is cordial with me & speaks, but his son says little or nothing to me at all. I had a long conversation with my bf 24 year old daughter about everything & she told me her brother isn't happy at all that his parents are divorced. Since he feels that way then he should move out..he's pushing 30 and wants to live this bachelor lifestyle under his father's roof. He doesn't bother to sit down and have dinner with any of us when my bf cooks, same with holidays. He either says he doesn't celebrate or takes a plate of food and goes up to his room. His behavior is disrespectful, & if he wants to live so separate from everyone then he should do so in his own place. 

I get along fine with my bf 24 year old daughter, we speak often but she makes some really bad decisions in her dating life. She likes "bad boys" & there is always some drama going on with her. His 21 year old talks to me somewhat..she manipulates my bf all the time with tears & a sob story and he's always falling for it. Meanwhile she's on social media (she added me to her page) posting all types of sexually explicit pics & jokes but then cries to her daddy that life is so hard. A couple months ago, she posted that she can't wait to move out of her apartment, days later, she texted my bf claiming there was a shootout at her building and she needed to move right away. Later that night, here she was with her bags & dog moving in. Good thing it was only for about a month, she just left for college to live on campus an hr and a half away. We're watching her dog for her until she can get it registered as a service dog. Two days ago she posted something saying she wasn't expecting to be homesick so soon, then just as I figured she called my bf last night crying saying she's homesick and wants to see her dog. She hasn't even been gone for a week and is already starting with her mess. Nearly every single weekend she cooks up some story which always ends up in her needing to stay at the house. 

What annoys me is the fact that these are adults in their 20s and they're so attached to my bf and being in the house. On their days off they sit in the house all day, I never see anyone come by to pick them up and take them anywhere, or just go hangout like 20 something year old kids should. I work for an airline & my schedule is pretty flexible so sometimes I'm home alot, I even put them on my benefits and only his 24 year old daughter uses them. What is it going to take for them to get a life of their own & stop being up under their father so much? Their mother is not in a good place right now, she got caught cheating on their father multiple times which is why they're divorced. Since she's been gone she's been struggling with housing & money cause his kids  tell him that she's asking them for help nearly all the time. Because of this, everything falls on my bf, I commend him for taking care of his kids but at the same time they need to start being more independent & let him live a little. I let my bf talk me into leaving my place to live with him & I feel like I made a big mistake. He wants to downsize and move into a smaller place for a year then have a house built & remarry. I told him I'm not trying to make any plans like that right now because of the chaos & disrespect going on in this house currently. When this house is empty and the two grown men he has living in the house leave, then we can make future plans.