Hey everyone, I'm sort of new to this site and I've been on here before reading your stories but I'm new to posting so here goes. DW and I have been together for 13 years (Married for 10) and she has two kids from her previous relationship and we have three kids together (twins 10, 7). At the time SS23 was 9 and former SS (Who would be 21 now) was 6 when I first met her. DW and her ex had a really on and off toxic marriage to say the least. When it finally ended they pretty much hated each other. DW and EXH had 50/50 custody of both and just like a lot of you I dealt with the same issues as you guys did. SKs didn't like me and I'm pretty sure they didn't like their new SM either but even then I never took a parental role in their life. I assume their SM didn't either. I basically disengaged because at the time I didn't have my own kids till I met DW and the kids were a bit much for me that I just couldn't deal with their rudeness so luckily after a bit (With a lot of counseling) DW put her foot down and handled SKs herself. Our marriage is very solid but there was a huge problem that quite nearly ended our marriage and most likely almost ended EXH and SM's marriage too. Younger SS was dealing with some issues that were causing a lot of havoc in our lives. He was constantly fighting with us, and at school, his older brother was usually was on his side and both essentially became pretty problematic. We put him in therapy to see what was going on but it was no good. Things would get so bad he punched his father once and he got kicked out and when he came back he tried that here but my wife kicked him out to live with his aunt and her husband. DW and her EX would frequently visit younger SS to check up on him but unfortunately the kid took his own life. This even nearly crushed everyone. SS23 (At the time was 15) I believe took it harder than everyone else. It was such a dark time in our lives that even thinking about how DW felt at the time is traumatizing. We had to go through so much therapy and we would force SS23 to go to therapy. His mother wanted the best for him but to no avail. He constantly took his anger out on us and his dad and SM that we would have to call his aunt and her husband (who he's very close with) to pick him up amd eventually we thought it would be best for him to move in with them since he can't be of danger to us, our kids, his dad and SM and their kids. After moving in with his aunt and her husband they managed to get through to him and he eventually started getting better. They did have their tough times with him but the influence they had on him made him better. His aunt's husband was in fact an amateur boxer in back in his country and as he was already training SS's cousins he started training with SS as well. He saved that kid's life in so many ways I can't even explain the impact he had on him. However, SS stopped talking to us. When he was 17 DW asked him if he wanted to move back in he said no. Whenever there was family meetings he would refuse to talk to us or even acknowledge us. It's been like this for a long time. His dad has tried to be there for him as well but SS would reject him. He is somewhat close to my kids and his other half siblings but I don't think they're on the same level of bonding that he had with younger SS. Ever since he moved in with his aunt and her husband he wouldn't talk to us unless we called to check up on him. DW was hurt by this as she just wants her son back and the last time we tried contacting him again and he finally went off on us and said:

"Can all of y'all just fuck off? You people are the most annoying mf's out there. I don't want ANYTHING to do with you and your punk husband for all the shit you assholes put me and my brother through. Same with my moron dad and his bitch wife. You people are the most toxic human beings on this planet and the only good thing y'all did was kicking me out because if it wasn't for my aunt and uncle I would probably be alongside my brother. None of you cared jack shit about me or my brother. All you people ever did was use me as some sort of weapon against each other, you guys constantly bad mouthed the other parent even when I was around, and to top it all off your shit stain of a husband hated me. No biggy cuz I hate that retard as well. All your husband and my dad's bitch wife ever thought of me was as a remnant of your past life and rather than be there for me and my brother all you and my dad cared more about were your shitty new romantic relationships and ensuring that your Do-Over babies had stable homes when I didn't. I hated being one week at my dumbass dad's place and then the next at yours. You fucking suck as a mother and because your fucking neglectfulness as well as my dad's I lost one of the most important people in my life and neither YOU OR MY FUCKING FATHER can bring him back. You and him are nothing but a bunch of fucking sellout assholes and fuck your stupid marriages. Your marriages are nothing but an insult to my dead brother's memory but it is what it is. I had to build myself up again and without you in my life I'm so much better. I'm actually with people who care about me and value me as a human being. I always hear my brother in my head. I miss him a lot and I really wish he was here to see how good of a fighter I am but I can't now thanks to you sellouts. The only way you guys can actually have a relationship with me again is if you build a time machine or uproot my half siblings but I don't want that. So once again please fuck off and never speak to me again." 

It's been 5 years now and he hasn't said a thing to us. Sometimes, I sit back and think maybe DW is at fault but I also don't want to think that. I'm not sure how EXH and SM are dealing with this but I can't imagine it's any better. Would it be wrong of DW tries to contact him again?