SS13's lack of relationship with my family continues to bother DH. SS didn't want to go to the last family birthday dinner and pretty much told DH he doesn't want to go to stuff going forward.

I don't see this as a huge deal. He's 13. The other kids are all girls (except my 19-year-old nephew). He doesn't know anyone all that well. Kids that age don't necessarily love spending time with aunts, uncles and cousins they are close to, let alone the bio family of the stepmother they only tolerate.

DH was concerned "something happened" last time he went to something. Not sure how that's possible, as he was right next to us the whole time.

My guess? He's 13, being asked to interact with people he doesn't know well. He and the girls used to play together well, but they're at an awkward age now. Another possibility: while people are nice and speak to him, no one focuses on him or fusses over him, which is what he gets from BM's parents.

But DH just keeps worrying about it. For a while he kept saying he was going to keep asking SS about it and get him to tell him what was going on. I think I finally convinced him it's better to drop it and quizzing SS could just lead to problems (like blowing it up out of proportion).

Honestly, I think it's projection. DH wants a connection to my family (not easy, but he's doing ok -- a big family can be overwhelming). He's projecting onto SS. Well, SS May not want a relationship. So what? He doesn't have to have one. And it certainly can't be forced.

I'm just really tired of hearing about it.