I don't really understand why you thought it OK to leave your toddler with this porn-addicted, anti social misfit who threatened your son with death? Also, I do not believe it was "not sexual".  Any toddler yelling "don't hurt my butt" means their genitals, I suspect. 

If your husband doesn't agree to abandon the plan to have his awful son live with him, then you and your son should move out. How in heaven's name can it get any worse?  

No is the only word you need to say. "No, he will never be under my roof" "No I will not allow my child to be near him" "No, I will not  change my mind" "No I will not let you sneak him back in." 

If your husband brings his son near your child again, he needs to go too. if he tries, call the police. your job is to protect your child. 

Hill to die on.  Also get your child assessed for possible signs of physical abuse.

Your obligation to protect your child trumps you being in a relationship with your SO.. He needs to hear that in certain and clear terms.

You will not bring your son into our home.  You can visit with him outside the home.. if you want to get a place to stay with him, that is your choice but this home is not an option. period.  

Re-fresh the RO/PO and inform DH that if his non-kid sets foot in  your home or near your child that the shit spawn is gone to the hotel with the bars on the windows and doors.

That your DH has his head this far up his own ass is beyond mind boggling.  His toddler terrified that this POS kid will "hurt his butt" when this POS has a  history of assaulting your child and a known porn addiction, if that was my non-kid who had perpetrated that againsy my toddler, that spawn would be gone and fertilizing a pig farm somewhere after the pigs consumed him.

Lemme guess, your DH tells you you are overreacting. Being hysterical. But, you are under-reacting. You need to protect your toddler from this porn-addicted abuser. Maybe the abuse is sexual, maybe not. Does it matter in terms of protecting your kid? He needs to he protected from ALL various subtypes of abuse. Your DH will not protect him. Your DH can't be bothered to even find out if he is the father of this disturbed kid he insists on having in your home without giving you a choice. Your toddler needs to be protected from both your husband and his ex's son. 

Protect your toddler. Move out and away from the both of them. Step son is dangerous for obvious reasons and spouse is dangerous because he allows the stepson around you and your toddler. I would move far and get a restraining order.

Your toddler is your top priority. You cannot trust your step son or your partner. What would happen if you're not around???  You can't be with your toddler 24/7. What if you go to the bathroom? Any amount of time he's alone with your step son there is possibility of abuse. 

Your first priority is your child. Your not-so-D H is in denial AND he is a terrible parent. It's not your place to raise his and BM's perverted hooligan.

I advise a counselor for you and your toddler. I advise a lawyer to protect you both.

• Tell your H his maybe-son is not allowed near your child. Period.Dot.
• Get a Restraining Order. This is crucial. Because if you leave/divorce your H, you need to make sure SS cannot be around your child during H's visitation time.

As a survivor of childhood sexual and physical abuse, I am over here SCREAMING, NOOOOOO! Do not let that pedophile back into your home. In fact, I'd have your DH removed from the home. Call the police, tell them your DH is planning to vioate a RO that is in place via CPS and you don't feel safe nor do your child(ren) feel safe. And state WHY.

One of the saving graces in my life and healing from my abuse was the fact, when my mom found out, the stepfather was kicked to the curb. And at a major cost to her financially but she did not care...she cared her husband was abusing her three girls. 

YOU are the only one who can protect your kids in this mess. Don't let your DH break the law, thus making you complicit by letting that pedophile back into your home. Remember....CPS is clearly aware of what happened and the RO is what let them "close" the case. If that case has to be re-opened, you WILL chance loosing your own kids....or having to fight to get them back. No man is worth that.

I agree with ALLthe other posters.

Take your son to a specialist to evaluate what has happened to him and get a restraining order to protect him.

Your husband needs to get a paternity test ASAP or be included in the RO.

GAWD, protect your little one with all the force you have.

you knew you SS "had been tormenting my son the whole time, talki g about how he was going to kill him graphically and going into his room at night."???

There is really no compromising or negotiating, here, the kid is not allowed in your home.

Seriously, what is wrong with your husband that he would think this would be okay? He should want to protect the other children.

He doesn't even know, for sure, if this kid is his son and it doesn't sound like he's been around him all that much, either way.

You are already on cps radar. Either leave or kick dh and his abusive porn addicted kid out OR possibly worry cps will do more than a parent plan..

A parent plan is no joke ma'am and you should take their actions  seriously..Even when Mr Wonderful will not. Cps doesn't sit in parking lots pointing to random parents to open up cases on. Your home life where your children are,  has raised eyebrows. 

Im so so sorry this is happening. Generational abuse happens often. You feel stuck but you DO have choices and options.

Restraining orders, block the maybe SS, please do not freeze up out of fear and trauma responses, your kid and his testicals need you (I dont even want to think of the other abuse that your toddler infered...get him examined.)

You need a long range plan. The first thing you need to do is find a lawyer and go in for a consult. You need to lay the groundwork now so that when you leave this guy he won't get any unsupervised visitation. A restraining order against SS is probably a good place to start. And honestly, you might consider having your son interviewed by an expert to help determine if he was sexually abused - because that seems a real possibility. Since he is still having an obvious reaction to even just the name of your SS, he might needs some therapy as well.

You need a lawyer's advice on your finances as well. Even though you aren't working, it sounds like lots of the assets are in your name and were purchased by you alone.

The next thing is to figure out a real life support system. Do you have family and friends who are close? Could you stay with them if necessary? You also need a short term emergency plan if SS shows up at your door.

Hot damn girl you better get the hell out of there. You absolutely need to protect your toddler. There is a lot of solid advice from everyone here. 

As a mother, I can tell you that I was faced with a very difficult, but clear choice when my 5 year old son (now 33) told me about the "game" his grandpa (my father) was playing with him. I took him to the doctor after this report. The doctor being a mandatory reporter referred it to the local authorities. Their investigation had the case transferred to the county where the alleged abuse happened. That county interviewed my son and he told them more than he told me. They wanted to prosecute my father. My father lawyered up, naturally. Sadly, the authorities wanted my 5 year old (FIVE!!) to give testimony on the stand in front of my father. After the pedo grooming my son received, it would have been so traumatic because my father told my son that if he told anyone everyone would be mad at HIM (my son), also that grandpa would get in trouble and go to jail. My son was terrified. So we refused to cooperate and the case was dropped. I haven't spoken to my family in 28 years because they would rather consider ME a liar than believe my father is a pedo. Fine by me. What I didn't know at the time this all went down was that the child I was pregnant with would be autistic and non-verbal until age 6/7.

If I had not believed my son, my other son could have been abused for years without being able to tell me.

As a mother, as a parent, you reach decision points. If you believe your son, then burn all bridges in an effort to protect him. I jetisoned my entire bio family from my life to protect my children. It was painful. I lost dozens and dozens of people for the sake of my children. I wouldn't do it any differently.

My younger sister reached out to me a few years ago to meet. She said the family misses me and if I would just retract this horrible story, we could be a family again. I said to her, "You're a mother, just like me. I would like to think if your child came to you with a story of abuse, you would do ANYTHING to protect them. This "story" is not mine. I didn't come up with it. It was my son's experience and it was my job to BELIEVE him. If that means I lose my whole family and you all think that I am a liar, so be it. I can live with that."

I have ended 2 relationships over people intimidating or saying awful things to my children. As a mother, our duty is to protect our children first. I know you know this, but I understand how hard it is to weigh the cost of protecting them. This is a difficult time, but I am certain you'll take every step to protect your children.

DH is out if his mind also.  Sorry for that.  Does DH have any plan ?  Except to dump SS on to you ?    This is the so call hill to died on.  Tell DH him and SS can do whatever they want,  but not with you,  DH can move to motel 6 with SS. Han have a life he wants.  Just pay CS AND SC.    BM must want this kid out of her home.  Neighbor might be calling police on SS.  

Any news?

DH can do what ever he wants, but bring SS into your home.  You must make DH understand you mean it.  SS will never set foot in your home again.   If he does call the police.   Stop the nonsense.  If DH wants to move into motel 6 with SS, that's fine.  Divorce lawer the next day.  That the price he will have to pay.  

Get a restraining order for BOTH SK and DH. If he was planning on basically kidnapping him, what makes you think he wouldn't do the same thing to retaliate with your own child? 

Get as far away as possible. 

Tell DH to take SS.  to a 4 hour motel and stay with him there.  Or you pack up you bags and move your bio kids to a safe place,  you have to do something.  Better then havibf your kids life destroyed.   Disengage from SS.  NO homeschool. No nothing.