It's been a long time since I posted here but thought I would ask if I was correct or not. Two weeks ago SD called her dad at 8:15 p.m. asking if he was in bed yet. He answered yes and asked why. SD said she was in our town and was on her way over. He got off the phone with her and I asked if she was coming over and he said yes. SD got there at 8:30 p.m. and I got pissed saying SD was rude and inconsiderate to just show up. SD has done this multiple times. SO got mad at me and I said this is my house and I have every right to say what I want. SO shut the door to the room and I sat in there a few minutes longer. Then I went out there and said what's up to SD? I didn't yell at her at all, I just said yea, you should've told us you were coming, what would happen if you got stuck on the side of the road, nobody would know what happened to you. SD said then I just won't surprise you anymore. I talked with her for about fifteen or twenty minutes more then went to bed.

The next morning, Saturday, she stayed in the room she sleeps in most of the morning and then came out and I don't remember if we said good morning or not. But she looked for something to eat in the kitchen then went back in the room and the next time I saw her, SD was leaving with packages to return wherever she bought them from and said bye. We didn't see her all day and then when she got home that evening, I tried to make conversation with her by asking if she did anything fun that day and she said she didn't do much. SD had gone and hung out with her aunt. I asked if she got her tire fixed and she said yea. Her tire was low. SD didn't really talk. But she told her aunt nobody was talking to her. Before she got home, her dad and I got into an argument about her showing up to our house without telling us beforehand that she was coming. He doesn't think it's a big deal but I told him that is how I was raised and I wasn't going to change the way I was raised for him or his daughter. I also told SO that I am not asking too much of her to be a considerate adult and tell us she's coming. I told him that I will never win in my own house, that everything was about him and his kid, to which he replied that I'm the stepmom and should act like one. I told him that I should have a say in my house and that he should support me. I also told him that he kisses his daughter's ass because he's too afraid she'll quit talking to him like his older daughter did and he said he didn't care. YES HE DOES!!!

Fast forward two weeks to now, and after talking to her aunt for a while and knowing that she called me pathetic and a hypocrite because my dad showed up to my 50th b-day party last year without me knowing and I cried because I was told that he wasn't coming. (My parents live in a different state 6 hours away). She was not coming to our house to see her dad because of me. He had told her what's the big deal with me asking that she let us know that she was coming so I could prepare. She had a cow and keeps comparing the situation with my dad to the night she supposedly "surprised" us. After talking to her aunt and knowing what she's been saying, I decided to say sorry to her to make peace and so that she would come see her dad. Once again, I caved. I know what you guys are saying, that I'm stupid and that you wouldn't have done that. I told my husband that I would not put up with being ghosted in my home and that I wasn't going through that again. SD is living in another city and working as a nurse so hopefully she will not be here for a while. I will not be in town easter weekend so I won't have to see her then. Hopefully, I won't have to see SD for a long time.