Watched this - she's right we may be overusing it in the general sense but the traits of narcissisim seem to be HIGH in stepchildren - not all but many. This is probably due to softer parenting, indulgence (or neglect), a sense of entitlement built in and lack of empathy towards the stepparent - many times, they are programmed to believe we are just objects or servants to support their needs and the family's needs but we are not considered.
Let me give a recent example, a very important birthday came - and one adult SKID called early that morning. I picked up (hestiantly) but assumed after multiple reminders from other family members that today it would be a call about this day- even a one minute acknowledgment would suffice or just "happy birthday." Nope. Asking for money. Didn't even mention anything else- and I don't think it was done out of spite. I think it was done because of narcissim- thinking of what they need and a mix of selfishness and an inability to recognize the other person who spent a lifetime raising you. This is coming from an adult not child. I believe my short example is just one very simple way to show how we are patient through their youth and work hard to do right by them but they fall short as adults because they are typically programmed to not think outside themselves.
I also want to note that I am not mad at all nor did I correct the SKID - this is exactly how I thought it would play out and I believe wholeheardly that factors outside myself had created what I am exposed to by adult SKIDs. It's not my job to try to correct it, find a solution or heal this person - if it's even possible. My job is simply to enjoy my life and guard against behavior that I know is not in my best interest. There just comes a time where you realize it's a well that you keep filling up for them but there is not receprocity and likely there never will be.
While I do agree with that sentiment....I do TRULY believe that BM and SD exhibit most(if not all) the traits... and from what DH tells me about BM's father, he sounds like it as well. Making friends just to use them to climb ladders... not viewing people as anything BUT a means to further their adjenda... viewing themselves as superior... false sense of entitlement... lying with the intention of making others seem inferior/unlikeable. the list goes on these are just the MAJOR ones
Great video. I see many of these traits in my SS19.5; i feel like he plays the underhanded, sublte manipulative game with my SO and everyone else, and I believe he knows I see through his B.S.... but SS also propbably knows I can't prove this to my SO - who is so enamored of this spawn... I do see and hear sometimes SO acknowledging manipulation, selfishness.
Oh well, just learned once again that DISENGAGE! is the operating verb for me as a SP.
Thanks Rags, I love Dr.
Thanks Rags, I love Dr. Ramani - she's very knowledgable. Looking forward to viewing this !
Watched this - she's right we
Watched this - she's right we may be overusing it in the general sense but the traits of narcissisim seem to be HIGH in stepchildren - not all but many. This is probably due to softer parenting, indulgence (or neglect), a sense of entitlement built in and lack of empathy towards the stepparent - many times, they are programmed to believe we are just objects or servants to support their needs and the family's needs but we are not considered.
Let me give a recent example, a very important birthday came - and one adult SKID called early that morning. I picked up (hestiantly) but assumed after multiple reminders from other family members that today it would be a call about this day- even a one minute acknowledgment would suffice or just "happy birthday." Nope. Asking for money. Didn't even mention anything else- and I don't think it was done out of spite. I think it was done because of narcissim- thinking of what they need and a mix of selfishness and an inability to recognize the other person who spent a lifetime raising you. This is coming from an adult not child. I believe my short example is just one very simple way to show how we are patient through their youth and work hard to do right by them but they fall short as adults because they are typically programmed to not think outside themselves.
I also want to note that I am not mad at all nor did I correct the SKID - this is exactly how I thought it would play out and I believe wholeheardly that factors outside myself had created what I am exposed to by adult SKIDs. It's not my job to try to correct it, find a solution or heal this person - if it's even possible. My job is simply to enjoy my life and guard against behavior that I know is not in my best interest. There just comes a time where you realize it's a well that you keep filling up for them but there is not receprocity and likely there never will be.
While I do agree with that
While I do agree with that sentiment....I do TRULY believe that BM and SD exhibit most(if not all) the traits... and from what DH tells me about BM's father, he sounds like it as well. Making friends just to use them to climb ladders... not viewing people as anything BUT a means to further their adjenda... viewing themselves as superior... false sense of entitlement... lying with the intention of making others seem inferior/unlikeable. the list goes on these are just the MAJOR ones
Great video. I see many of
Great video. I see many of these traits in my SS19.5; i feel like he plays the underhanded, sublte manipulative game with my SO and everyone else, and I believe he knows I see through his B.S.... but SS also propbably knows I can't prove this to my SO - who is so enamored of this spawn... I do see and hear sometimes SO acknowledging manipulation, selfishness.
Oh well, just learned once again that DISENGAGE! is the operating verb for me as a SP.