SOD starting to lose her fastball
G'day fellow Stalkers,
Just a quick blurb on something I noticed recently. SOD (Significant Other - Daughter) is one of the "beautiful people," and has been used to getting her ass kissed solely on the basis of her looks. She is not particularly bright, she is uneducated, she works a low-wage job, buutttt....she was always pretty and skinny.
Well now, after years of smoking cigaretts, vaping, starving herself, consuming energy drinks nonstops, smoking dope every day, and occasionally using harder drugs, AND having a baby.......those looks are beginning to fade. She has gained weight, she looks... haggard. And exhaused. She seems to be several years older than her biological age.
I have always held out hopes that SOD would finally get fed up with her baby daddy, and use those good looks to secure a High-Value Man who could take care of her, but now I wonder if that window could be closing sooner than expected. She literally brings nothing to the table besides her looks, so if she doesn't cash in on those in her youth, she is going to be in a world of hurt when she is older. If her looks drop off too much, baby daddy might decide to find a different sugar mommy to pay his bills.
Has anyone in the group observed anything like this?
- paul_in_utah's blog
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I have noticed something
I have noticed something similar with BM... I've seen old pictures and she was very pretty when she was in her 20s! This was when DH met her and had SD13. He will admit he was thinking "with his d!ck" and was blind to all the red flags.
Fast forward almost 14 years... She has smoked/vaped, completed a full arm sleeve tattoo, and gained over 30lbs, and now pregnant again... She looks much older than 37.
When the looks start to fade, and you don't have a nice personality, it can be even more off putting. Eek, we shall see how long she last with her current BF (he is 10 years younger!).
Different flavor of the same ice cream cone
I feel that this is a small microcosm of the Femal Existence.
So many issues around this topic. But, I think and feel and know that the whole "use your looks while you gotem honey" applies to pretty much all us women. The "empty ones" that are basically taught when they are young and super cute how to manipulate to get what they want, they do this, and when looks fade, its up to them to figure it out or not.
When SD24 (almost 25!) was much younger, she was really pretty with very striking features. She was also skinny. She frittered around her best years lookswise and bodywise, doing drugs, doing whatever, but she definitely USED her so called friends - for rides (because no license/car/transport) and money. She figured out how to manipulate her father and her mother using the DNA card, then her v-card, then her woman card and on and on. Because none of that worked with me, she just ignores my existence because I am of zero usage to her.
Now shes trying something rather new - shes on family text loving on everyone. As its a large family, and the older ones know her better, her "charm" works mainly on the younger ones. This is a direct turnaround from the previous, say 4-5 years where she was MIA. No contact.
NOW, since shes getting a bit long in the tooth and has gained weight so that the crop tops and low-cuts dont work as well to showcase her "assetts" * sorry if this is offensive *** of the Double D's. Now Im wondering what the next con will be - a surprise pregnancy? Shes been on BC for a while and claims she never wants kids. I dont see that shes had a solid relationship for very long. That would imply a little more depth. But who knows. She seems to be able to coo over babies well enough.
My SD 62
My SD62 was a pretty blonde in her teens. Regular features, slender, nice tan, pretty smile. She's had 2 husbands and 3 kids. Unfortunately, she's still a teen in her head but her looks have suffered due to drugs, terrible diet, poor health, dentures, and sun exposure. She is still slender, however, altho sometimes skeletal.
She wears inappropriate clothes for her age altho she did say recently she's getting rid of her short shorts, it must have occurred to her that they weren't right for her age. Her assets helped her achieve a family of her own but personality flaws meant that she lost 2 good men and 2 of her kids don't maintain contact. The other one does because she needs money and babysitting. Its sad.
The sad thing....
One night, DH and I were eating out. A woman came in, could have been SD62's twin, same features. BUT, she had her blonde hair in a normal shade, not ultra light like SD bleaches hers. It was cut in a flattering style, not worn long like a teen. She had on attractive clothes, not the too young things SD wears. She looked good. I thought, SD62 could look like that. Sad
SD34 has used her looks and
SD34 has used her looks and been extremely arrogant since she was 7. BM is like that. BM was drop-dead gorgeous back then and slender and loved to show off her slender figure. She literally trained SD to be the same way. However, SD was partaking in the Disneyland Dad Hedonistic All-Junk Diet Program, so she ended up becoming morbidly obese as a child. Despite being morbidly obese, she was somehow extremely arrogant and saw herself as the most beautiful specimen of a female who ever graced the face of the earth.
When SD was around 14, she got pneumonia and lost a shit-ton of weight becoming skinny. She somehow developed a magical metabolism and continued to lose weight and keep it off despite eating entire packages of cookies, chips, etc. I was convinced that she was doing something and expressed concern to DH, but got told that I was just jealous because I had to work for my figure while SD could gorge and remain skinny and even lose weight, but whatever.
Time went on and SD flaunted her looks, especially her body. She actually was a natural beauty but started going for beauty services and developed an addiction to tanning beds. Her beauty service treatment escalated to the obsession it is today. She has things scheduled so much that she often has to attend two things in one day. She gets botox and filler at the same time and has to doctor shop because some won't do both. She had to doctor shop to get them done when doctors wouldn't do those treatments while SD was breastfeeding.
SD gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and still hasn't lost it. Her magical metabolism has disappeared because she continues with her rotten eating habits and still eats out seven days a week and can't seem to lose the weight or tighten up her legs that she used to be so proud of and show off. She used to make fun of other women having cellulite yet she's now got cellulite all over her legs. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when someone acts like they're better than everyone due to being so perfect, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying the karma of SD's favourite and best feature now being riddled with cellulite. Her face is now weathered probably from all the tanning and the "work" she keeps getting done and she's getting what I call, "that look." It's a look that some women get when they've been ridden hard and put away wet. There's a look that I've seen when some women seem to have gotten so much work done that they're developing a stange look to them. SD is nowhere near that beauty she used to be. I think she knows it too.
As for BM, I saw her at SS' wedding in the summer and everyone thought she was GBM. LOL BM used to run around bragging in her 50s how everyone thought she was a teenager and she'd act seductively and flirt with SS' friends, yet here we are with her being mistaken as her BM who is in her late 80s while BM is in her early 60s. LOL
Gotta love that karma!
So SOD was basically raised
So SOD was basically raised by her parents that her only value was in her looks.
Stunning beauty is not so
Stunning beauty is not so stunning when it is just a facade and there is no substance of beauty at the core of the person.
It is only a matter of time before the cracks start to show through with what is on the inside. For those without substance and who have no core beauty, the eternal quest of youth and beauty returns neither. Sadly. As time passes the person without substance knows full well that they are not what they once were in looks and they over time they learn full well what they have always been regarding character and personal quality.
Reading everyone's comments above, the movie Death Becomes Her came to mind. The scene towards the end of the movie where the characters (Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn) start to crack apart from all of the bondo they have used over the many decades they lived past their prime.
It can happen to men too of course. It is no more appealing a characteristic in men than it is in women.
My SS's Spermidiot is one of them. He maintains a look of edgy youth... from a distance. He is in his mid 50s and still cruises the malls on weekends trying to attract teen girls. SS has said that the girls get all giggly over his attentions when he is flirting from a distance (say 30yds away or so) but guffaw in his face when he gets close enough for them to realize that he is not in his late teens or even in his 20s.
I have found that as I get older, my sense of beauty matures. A good looking young person is always attractive. But a classic beauty of any age who takes care of themselves, lives well, and is a truly good person... WOW! Give me the little smile and laugh lines over the flawless plastered, filler puffed, botox, face lift look any day of the week.
Especially when I have helped create those sexy little smile and laugh lines.
Be still my beating heart!