Love this post for the purpose of letting everyone bitch about the petty little things that got under our skin while dealing with these families we "inherited."

I would be PISSED about all those things. Especially the text. Wtf! 
 

My petty annoying vent was a comment my DH made to my SD12. (Love my DH dearly but he's a people pleaser and just can't bear to see 'his little princess' upset or not being the center of attention for 2 seconds.) We were talking about when she goes to her mom's house the next day and she asked what we do when she's gone and my DH said "We are bored and sit around missing you and wishing you were here with us!" And I wanted to roll my eyes so hard.

Nope, not me. I love when she goes to her moms and my house isn't trashed or noisy while she's on the phone screaming FaceTiming her friends and  when she isn't trying to dictate all our plans by guilting her dad into doing whatever she wants. 

#1 - I'd never bring a pie again. They can eat pie at BM1's house. I'd keep saying hello and goodby though. A cheerie greeting usually really annoys them (it did my sister-in-law who would not speak to me because she was mad at DH over something that happened with his deceased ex wife). 

#2 - I'd never buy this kid a gift again. 

#3 - you are not overreacting

I've got no festivus worthy grievances. We are slogging along with the same seasonal mess. At this point it's mostly background noise. 

Little Idiot wasn't quite as bad this as she has been in the past. So far she's been... mostly tolerable.... but very very off. There's been some minor annoyances with her but my main complaints today were with my family this year. Nothing big, I just feel like they've lost the true meaning of Christmas and I'm probably just exhausted and cranky from the holiday stress but I'm just over it all. I don't enjoy this time of year. I think people actually act worse around the holidays. It's just all too much. 
 

Little Idiot is just acting weird. Im not complaining at all because at least she's not driving me nuts like she normally does, but she's been holed up in her room the entire time and it's just silence coming from there. Maybe she's busy texting the sole surviving member of the Mullet Family who knows?

Ugh. DH picked up SDiabla24 from the airport. When they arrived there was no offer of help with setting the table, help with finishing touches for dinner? Nope. They got out a board game and sat there playing. Ya. I am annoyed. BD and her BF helped.

I have four kids, btw  Their ages are 9, 14, 16, and 18 and they are all girls.  I bought tickets to MIckey's Very Merry Xmas party at Disney World and we stayed on site.  I bought tickets to Gaylord Palms ice and also paid for other events there like Build a Bear and ice sledding.  WE went back to Orlando Tuesday through Friday for Holiday Matsuri which is an Anime Convention.  Tickets are $110 a piece and the 18 year old brought a friend and last minute I had to buy his ticket too.  Our hotel had a kitchen and I brought food to make their but they still kept asking for take out and Starbucks.  I had to work 12 hours xmas so I told them that was our xmas and I gave them $200 cash each except the 9 year old to spend  at the  convention.  My 18 year old spent all $200 on take out.  She went to Ihop, McDonalds twice, Starbucks, Taco Bell, and Dunkin Donuts.  I spent so much money on hotels and tickets and events.  So Christmas Day my coworker says he will relieve me for an hour so I can watch my 9 year old open her gifts and my other three were there and my 16 year old looks just so butt butt hurt that she has no gifts to open even though she opened gifts with her dad.  UGH!  I worked 12 hours yesterday and for weeks I asked them if we wanted to see a movie on Xmas day after I got off work and they all poo poo'd my movie ideas and of course last night it's "Are we going to the movies tonight?  Why didn't you get tickets?  I'm so disaapointed.  I have plans with my friends the rest of the week."  And let's not forget how I have to pay $350 a month now for car insurance cause my 18 year old got in two fender benders and she went through a breakup and said she couldn't work so I gave her $200 cash two weeks ago.  And I spent $200 at the hair salon for the 16 year old.  They act like I have endless money.  I hate Christmas.

and then I've been trying to patch things up with my mother so she doesn't kill herself.  She moved in with my aunt and now has hit me with , "I need you to fix up my house that's falling apart and pay for it and I need you to get a mortgage on my house" and here we go again. 

I would have been BEYOND pissed if someone thought that a store bought pie came anywhere near a home made pie. They are clearly people who have never known homemade food. 

You need to leave this guy and his a**hole family. You're well established in our own life. You don't deserve his sh*t or his families. 

Hmmmm

1. bring nothing next year or buy a frozen pie since you wouldn't want to compete w/ the ghost of an ex-in-law. 

2. next year, a simple grocery store gift card w/ an explanation of "I thought you were joking again, so I got you this instead. Merry plucking Christmas Jokey McJokster!" 

3. Cousin/Hairdresser ..... no. just no DH. 

Our Christmas was very nice. quiet, calm. Myself & the Mr, my older brother, my two w/ their wives. The only ones missing were SS and his fiance but they went to Florida to spend it with her folks, her folks only moved there this year so first Christmas rights and all. 

 I no longer do Christmas dinner. My oldest & wife do Christmas eve at her parents. But I know that everyone has other homes to visit on Christmas day so I do breakfast. I premake Cracker Barrel-ish hashbrown casserole. An egg casserole. Cinnamon rolls. Fruit salad. That's it. We now use paper plates. So clean up is quick and I miss out on nothing. 

This year we did our first Family Secret Santa. No more me buying year round to find gifts for grown up kids. We went through a site called elfster and there were 9 of us, us 2 + 3 kids w/ partners + my brother = easy peasy new family tradition!  We set a limit of $40 to be spent. We used the site to list things we wanted/needed/yearned deeply for. Only the two who were in Florida were missing and she broght their gifts over before they left. We will get together with them after New Years to give them their gifts. Everyone was thrilled w/ their gifts, exactly what they wanted. It was a success and we only spent $80 on the Christmas gifts this year. What a huge savings for us. Although the kids all were a tiny bit sad that they didn't get their yearly pj bottoms and the sons did get new pillows like they usually did. 

And by 3pm it was just us and the dog kicking back. My brother went hom to watch football w/ his dog, my oldest & wife off to her moms then his dads, and my youngest and his wife home to relax. Win/win/win/win/win/win/win!!!

edit to add: I received a small food processor. My old one broke this year and since I'd had it almost 30 years, it was time. But I asked for a small one because my cooking is usually for just two and I don't need the huge one any more. I also got a hug light. A flexable light that I can twist as I need to, it goes around my neck when I do counted cross stitch. My eye are starting to suck and it's hard to find the right light to do it in. It turned out my brother got me and he did great! 

The Mr got a gift card, yup a gift card but this man is cheap so think of it like a couplon for free shit. He also got a fold up key board to go w/ his ipad. Happy man = less annoyed me. He was thrilled. My oldest's wife had him. 

It was a super awesome idea (awesome w/ a cape) that my soon to be Daughter-in-law came up with. We're keeping her. 

We celebrated our Christmas on the 10th since SS21 and his Gf are on a cruise over Christmas and it made it easier on SS25 to visit with the other side of his family and his GF's family.

DH was on call Christmas Eve and worked all day on Christmas.  I spent the morning watching those damn Hallmark movies and just crying because its our first without our beloved puppers.  The kitty sat on my lap the whole time.  He feels it too.

I took my mother to brunch, then came home, turned on the tree and the advent calendar and watched 3 different versions of A Christmas Carol. 

I know this is a petty grievance...

For decades, my Mom made homemade candy at Christmas and gifted it to many. People raved about this candy! The only two who never liked it are my Dad and me. *unknw* It was a bit of a running joke and Dad and I always ate something else.

Mom was so adept at making this candy that she measured only by sight, cooked without a thermometer, and the recipe was never written down. The recipe was lost.

One of my SILs did some research, tested a number of recipes, and found one veeeeery close to Mom's. Every Christmas, SIL makes this candy and gives it to all of us. 

Cue the petty... I bloody well loathe it. I have literally begged my brother and SIL to please not give me this candy - each time saying how much I appreciate the gesture, but please don't make it for me. This candy is expensive to make. DH doesn't like it. None of the skids like it. I'm WFH so cannot take it to the office for my coworkers. DH cannot take food of any kind into his building. 

My sister who lives closest texted me that she has my candy and when am I going to come get it. ~facepalm~ Every year I ask her to take it to her work and share with her coworkers. Or give it to a friend. Or eat it herself (she loves that stuff). Nope. I MUST come get it and I should try it again because I might like it this time. *dash1*

We will be meeting mutual friends for a holiday dinner on Friday and she'll bring me that facking candy. Evil Aniki wants to leave it at the restaurant. Or dump it in the trash on the way out the door.

It's yet one more thing where what I want is poo-poo'd because I'm the youngest and obviously too stupid to know what I really like.

Other than that, we had a lovely Christmas Eve Eve at SD30's house. Spent 9 hours singing and playing board games. Wonderful time! Christmas Eve, we had dinner with SD27 and her hubby. Christmas day, we stayed home, had leftovers, and watched Christmas movies all day. Bonus: no trek to my brother's house as he scheduled at the same time as SD30. I find it ironic that my step family treats me better than my siblings and their spouses.

Chef has been horrid since mid November and will "drill sergeant" me one moment while the next moment he starts bragging about his accomplishments (all.the.time) or telling me the same stories over and over again.   He's stb 56 but acts like he is 76!

We had a nice quiet Christmas.  There's lots of sickness going around here so many gatherings were cancelled, including SD62's party.

She called DH yesterday.  She had called Christmas Eve asking to borrow $60.  Her planned overnight at her daughter's house was cut shory by some drama there. Yesterday, she said "Lots of people are having nice dinners and getting gifts.  I have had it in the past, its ok".  

In the past, BM, I and her 2 ex's provided or funded Christmas.  

YSD17 has been here a week. Started out rocky with DH ignoring me and alllllll attention was on her. Was ok after first day because I was busy with work and my own stuff in the end.

At dinner on the 23rd we were all talking about our Xmas dinner the next night, our neighbors were joining us so I needed to plan a bit. At one point I got my phone, where the recipe was, and started calculations on cook time. DH jumped down my throat, telling me angrily to put my phone down, we were having dinner and that essentially I was ruining it, I was always on my phone at meals and when we go out (totally not true, he's the one on his phone). YSD got really silent,  I looked at him and said don't talk to me like that, there was NO reason for it. He put his head down, shoved the rest of the food in his mouth,  and went into the bedroom with his noise canceling headphones on. I looked at YSD who rolled her eyes at me. I told her that was unacceptable and that I thought he was missing OSD and taking it out on me. I went to have a chat with him, told him he was not right, I was not apologizing,  and I'm sorry he misses OSD but do not take it out on us. He said he just wants a nice Christmas.  OK then, get over yourself and make it nice. I went out and played a board game with YSD and we had a nice evening. YSD said that if he had just asked me to stop looking at the recipe it would have been fine, and a bit later she told her dad he just sounded angry when he was going on about something else just before bedtime.

The rest of the holidays were good, lots of food, wine, games, no more issues. YSD leaves for BMs today and DH will have some time alone with her while I go to the gym then do some work.

This is my 5th Christmas with my partner, but we spent it apart - not a problem.

My DD30 moved home from Texas in August and we are living together in my former Airbnb, so I've known for months that spending Christmas with her and my 2 sons (DS33 and DS27) was going to be my priority. Partner was invited but had plans with some of his family.

I haven't heard from him since Friday.

I was, myself, quite busy and focused on my daughter on Saturday so I didn't reach out to my partner. I spent Christmas Eve feeling depressed as my kids were with their dad. I cleaned, decorated and prepared, and they came back to my house around 9pm on Christmas Eve. They were here all Christmas Day and through this morning. We watched movies, cooked together and generally had a lovely Christmas.

I was starting to feel hurt that I haven't heard from my partner, but I remembered that he is like this. He is prone to gloominess when there is less daylight. He also hyper focuses on making things nice for company and he was expecting 2 or 3 family members to visit for the holiday. And this is their first Christmas without his mom. She passed away in July. I am just assuming he's overwhelmed and if he wanted to talk, he would reach out to me.

I can't be mad because I haven't reached out to him; I decided a long time ago to match his effort/energy so I don't force communication. I just let him be the one to initiate things. We've been in touch on a daily basis for months since I no longer live with him, and there is a natural flow to how we alternate checking in, but the holiday seems to have shaken things up and I'm just going to wait for him to be ready to communicate.

That's the only "gripe" I have, so I'm doing pretty well.

Ok, here goes:

1. Husband decided he wanted ME to do all the decorating this year. He typically does our one fake tree with his star wars and tools ornaments, plus buys a special one each year. So I said "ok watch out", and took it upon myself to buy 2 additional fake trees - one large and tall and one short and small. my mom and sil gifted me several boxes of decor. I scoured goodwills and resale stores. Found some ceramic village pieces, and some cotton snow, got some old funky nutcrackers,got more and more garlands and stuff. Bought more lights. I totally decored out big time. So now have to figure out storage. Thats Gripe numero uno.

2. Husband decided he wanted ME to shop for my own presents this year, with him in tow paying for them. I already shopped for christmas decor, christmas dinner, presents for my parents, Im sort of shopped out...and he wants to hit the sales! I took him shopping at bass pro shop earlier this month, so no stress that he would be getting exactly what he wants...I guess turnaround is fair play. Gripe number two (i would have liked the cash ahem)

3. The Christmas eve and day was filled with cleaning because we are lazy with housework. So it wasnt as relaxing as I would have liked, but at the end it was beautiful and cozy and delicious and just made me feel really warm inside, in that deep down place...it was our first time cooking  prime rib and it was so yumm! The dutch apple pie perfectly paired with vanilla ice ceam. The crackling fire in the (newly cleaned) fire place. We hosted my parents, his daughter (powersulk whos been smiley) sweet heart niece (who washed all the dishes), his barnacle buddy (who brought the pie), so seven of us, plus the dog and cat. So gripe number three is that I kinda want to do it again...

other than these gripes, nothing drama wise from feral forger, or toxic troll...everyone enjoyed the food and company. My mother was effusive about how enjoyable she was finding the dinner gathering. The smile on her face made my heart positively melt.

Oh yes, I also have a petty b$tch of a sister in law. She's talked to me once in eight years when she told me she didn't think DH ever should have gotten divorced...um, BM was already remarried at the time and she was the one who demanded the divorce because she wanted to marry ex husband #2. 

Vent about her for actually talking my children for the first time in 3 years, simply because others were there to see her behavior. If no one else is around she ignores my two (3 and 1), me and DH, while fawning all over Skids.

Speaking of favoritism, vent about MIL giving each of my children a cheap toy for Christmas while giving Skids $100s in presents and also a trip "anywhere in the world" they would like to go. She can't hide the fact that she thinks DH should not have had any more kids.

Vent about BM who has sent DH no more than 7 texts demanding to know "how much you intend to pay for college for the boys." How much do you intend to pay BM and where are they applying? Nevermind the fact that one skid has told DH he does not plan to go to college and the other skid is getting an (adjusted) C in the only academic class he is taking this semester, so is in no way capable of doing "college-level" work. 

Vent about skid demanding that DH buy him fireworks to light off after New Year's when he'll be at the family cabin with his girlfriend (not our doing, MIL said he could go). Then sending DH an angry text about "don't ignore my text!" when FH didn't reply immediately.

Can't wait until we move to put some physical distance between us and all of these jerks. 

Honorable mention vent to DH who let me do everything for Christmas for our two and then had the nerve to ask if I also got a present for MIL and other members of his family. 

I hate Christmas. TBH, I'd be perfectly happy going to sleep the day after Thanksgiving and waking up on 2 January. Too many years of step-related stress and disappointment coupled with two separate traumatic events happening on or around the 25th have made me this way.

This year has been especially bad. My tank is just empty. My labor was what made the holidays happen, and this year my give-a-damn was broken. I'm all about matching energy now, because DH needs some retraining. So if he didn't show initiative, it didn't get done. I used to spend three days decorating the house for Christmas, always on my own; this year, no decorations. He assembled the artifical tree, but made no effort to trim it so that didn't happen. Christmas dinner was a lackadaisical affair today, and I made him do all the clean up.

 DH had yet another surgery in August, and another is coming up next month, meaning I'll be expected to handle everything while he recovers. So I'm conserving my strength and taking care of ME right now.