SS stopped by this weekend
You know the SS who told DH I was dragging in around by the B@lls because DH went with me to DS's Army graduation. Seems his and SDIL's friend from high school was having a birthday party for her daughter so of course SS can come to town for that but can't be bothered to come to holiday's or DH's birthday.
Bad timing on SS's part it was my birthday weekend. When he first showed up I was gone picking my DD up from college for the weekend. I get home and DH said SS, SDIL, and SGD came by. I was surprised and said why and he said they were going to a party and got town an hour early so they stopped by. He was happy he got to play with SGD and said he told them to come back by afterwards. :sick: I wasn't too pleased since I didn't want to see SS but DH said "I asked SGD if she wanted to see grandma later and she said yes." So I replied I would like to see SGD not to worried about seeing SS or SDIL. LOL Well my daughter really wanted to see SGD so she text SS saying she was home and would like to see them and SS replied they would try to come back.
Well a few hours later they stop back by. By this time all my kids were home to spend the night for my birthday (except the son in the army) and we were all sitting around the dinning room table just talking and hanging out. SS comes in and seems surprised to see us all there. He pretended like that hateful text never happened and came up and hugged me and said happy birthday. Here's where it get weird. Me and my DD tried to talk to SGD5 and every time we said something SDIL would distract SGD so she couldn't answer us. DH and SS walk outside to look at the brisket DH has on the smoker and SDIL takes SGD into a totally different room than me and my kids. It was noticeable because no one else was in the living room and she took SGD in there. My daughters and I looked at each other confused and then followed }:) . I sit down and SGD comes up to me and I asked if she wanted me to make her a blanket for Christmas and pull out my phone to show her a pictures. SDIL jumps up grabs her hand and says lets go see daddy and grandpa and walks outside. My daughters and I were so confused!!!! We stayed inside about 15 minutes then followed everyone outside and started the fire pit joining in with DH and SS's conversation. DH is out there telling them about the cook out we are having for my birthday and invites them to stay the night. SDIL jumps in saying she has to work the next day when DH asked when she said 5pm! DH looked at her and flat out said "well then that's not a reason not to stay is it". LOL Gotta love my husband! SDIL started pushing to leave at that point and they left not long after. DH noticed the behavior and while it was nice they stopped by and we attempted to be welcoming and even invited them to stay SDIL made it very apparent she did not want to be there and did not want me or my children around SGD.
I honestly feel that SDIL's behavior was a direct result of the females in Dh's family trying to exclude me and my daughter's from the family. SDIL's brother is married to MSD and she is the one I have the most difficulty with. This is typical behavior for the females in DH's family but most the time SDs around also so they form a pack to exclude me and my children. This time SDIL was without the pack. Really reminded me of this post that I have saved because it hit close to home https://www.steptalk.org/node/61081 However it seems the tables are turning in my direction finally. DH notices the behavior of the females in his family and my daughter's are old enough now that when I'm being shut out I have my own females to hang out with.
I'll admit I backslid some by offering to make SGD a blanket. I miss the grandkids but this visit just reaffirmed I will never be allowed to be a grandmother to them and I need to work on realizing that and save my energy for when I have my own grandchildren. DH, my children, and I went on to have a great birthday weekend.
If you want to make a blanket
If you want to make a blanket then make one, hand it to SS to give to his daughter....
I would do it just to piss them off more and SD's will get no blankets... for their kids or themselves }:)
Good for your DH for calling
Good for your DH for calling SDIL on her behavior - especially on your birthday. She was rude and should not have been there at all. Let her go.
My SD and her husband were over on one of my birthdays. They were thoroughly obnoxious. SD became visibly angry when DH wished me 'Happy Birthday'. She and her husband refused to speak to me - mad at me for something vague - again. My DH did not have the guts to call SD on her nastiness. I told DH not to have them visit on my birthday anymore.
I'm sure if you had offered
I'm sure if you had offered MONEY instead of a blanket, you probably would have received maybe 1/2 of the cold shoulder you and your DDs received LOL. They are rude and pathetic.
So NOT worth it. Focus on your family and potential GC down the road.
YESSSS...pour ALL the energy,
YESSSS...pour ALL the energy, time and resources into your other family - don't worry about these ones anymore. BUH BYEEEE...no blankets for you !
I will likely be on the same path and I am fine with it all. I could care less and you should too.
So glad you enjoyed your
So glad you enjoyed your birthday afterall! The rudeness you encountered in your own home was insanely ridiculous.
One thing I like to do (but don't always do) with rude people is ask them a question:
"Hey! Why do you keep taking her to another room?"
"Why did you say that?"
"What made you think that?"
But don't worry: We all "backslide" now and again, as we want to give people chances, want to believe things can get better. And then, sadly, or finally, we realize that these people don't DESERVE us in their lives. THEY DON'T!
It's a whole new ballgame when DHs finally get onboard and admit that their spawn suck. It's a hard wake-up call for them, I realize.
Happy B-day. Now go Quilting Queen on SDIL's toxic ass.
My mom is a phenominal quilter. She makes amazing works of art for everyone. Starting with baby blankets for all of her GK's, their friends spawn, her own sons and SILs. Then she makes each person in the family holiday quilts every few years. Christmas Quilts, Halloween Quilts, special individual quilts for each person. She has made dozens and dozens of them.
So, make the GSkid a special blanket. Make it something special for both you and the GSkid and for G-Pa. Do all kinds of heavy embroidery all over it with "G-Ma EastTxMom and G-Pa lovesyou!" type sentiments that there is no way SDIL can pluck out. Heavy embroidery on every panel using a custom patern that you design and apply with a computer controlled embroidery machine.
Make sure to take a lot of pics of the special blanket while making it and when you give it to the GSkid at some family event with G-Pa, your DDs, and SS, SDIL, and the G-SKid. That way, you box SDIL in and if it disappears, you can keep baring her ass asking where it is and keep the "Do you remember that special blanket I made for you?" conversations with the GSkid as she grows up.
If you really want to go off on SDIL's petty evil ass, make two identical blankets at the same time so you can give the second one to the GSkid once she reaches adulthood. Assuming that SDIL will disappear the first one you give to the GSkid. When you give the duplicate to the GSkid give her a photo collage of when you gave her the first one. Make sure to tell adult GSkid that you made two in case the first one disappeares.
Have fun!!!!