Oh my goodness.   It just keeps getting worse. 

Does his becoming a parent make him not eligible? Or are you just choosing to cut him off? Can BM come after you for it even though he is about to be a dad? Are you allowed to cut him off? I'd be delighted if you could, considering he has chosen no relationship with you guys at all.

Ugh!  You're right, the scammers ruin it for the people who truly need help.  I know someone who used the system to better herself, educate herself and has a phenomenal career now and thus has paid back into the system.  She didn't use the system as a lifestyle. 

It is a big problem...but usually the moment you bring it up you are: racist, classist, "should feel lucky you aren't less fortunate" or some such other similar to try to beat you back into silence.

Or at least they were when the Spermidiots 4 all out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas were minors. My SS his eldest and our only.

Spermidiot was COd to provide medical insurance for SS. He never did.  So his CS was increased by the amount my company required to cover SS under my medical insurance. Until.... my DW finally dragged his ass back to court for a CS ammendment that resulted in CS increasing by $600%. Spermidiot declined receipt of multiple summons attempts by mail, and physically ran from the Constable serving him in person.  So, the DA issued the revised CS order raising CS from $133/mo to $785/mo.  That brought the SpermClan screaming back into court after Spermidiot got his first $0.00 paycheck after direct payroll withholding was implemented.

Once the revised order was upheld keeping CS at $785/mo for two years then dropping it to $385/mo once his arrears for refusing summons was paid.  

A few months after the CS order was upheld by the Admin Law Judge, the Spermidiot came running back to court with proof that he had covered SS under medical insurance.  The CO was supposed to be solid for 2yrs before either party could file for an ammendment unless there was a significant change in circumstance.  The SpermClan thought that finally providing medical insurance more than 8yrs after they were COd to provide it would lower their CS. Nope, the Judge ruled that the insurance provided was inadequate and that they would both retain their new coverage for SS and continue to pay the % of CS allocated for their failure to provide insurance.

The crying was extremely satisfying when the Judge made that ruling.

When a single teen mom/full time Uni student/working 3 jobs my then future DW did get WIC and subsidized day care benefits. No medical for SS as she and the baby were covered by her deceased father's VA medical insurance benefits until we married.

My tolerance for game players and people who scam the system rather than supporting themselves is less than zero.

Very doubtful they'll work.  

the product humans of any number of environments.

Many people I grew up with have it, as do many of my Military School classmates.  Being spe-cial for no reason tends to foster the problem of big fish small pond in my experience.

Growing up as a 3CK (Third Culture Kid) where status was a part of where and when many of us grew up, followed by attending boarding schools due to school ending for Expat kids after 9th grade breeds big fish in small ponds.  Many who never figure out the real world or that success is a factor of performance and not history.  One day a whale in a fishbowl, the next... a minnow in an ocean.  Scurrying around trying to understand what happened to the destiny of greatness when true high performers are biting off their tail.

Many of my Expat kid classmates and my Military School classmates struggle with real life.  I cannot comprehend how childhood then HS could be the best years of anyone's life unless they suffer from big fish small pond syndrome.  Many who were big fish in small ponds fail to realize that the greatness they thought they were destined for takes a life time of dedication and solid performance every day.

Yes, I grew up in those environments. So did my parents.  However, they did not tolerate that crap from their sons and we have not tolerated it from our kids.  

To me, here is nothing more pathetic than someone from what should be an empowering priveleged background crying poor me into middle age or beyond.   I avoid many of the gatherings because of the pathetic life perspectives that so many of my former classmates and childhood friends stand on.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed those phases of my life. They were amazing.  Though I have had far more "best years of my life" since than during those times.  

I was a huge fish in a tiny pond.  Then my plans changed when I could not Commission in the Military and I had to figure out a different direction. It took me more than a decade to figure it out, but that journey was even better than the big fish little pond phase of my life.  Though not without some of the worst years of my life as well

The follow on phase to my childhood/young adult years was defining for me. Marriage, divorce, started ran and sold a company, figured out the direction of my education progress, met and married my DW of 29+ years, raised a truly honorable man as my son (SS-31), and DW and I are engaging in our late empty nester adventure and the run up to retirement.  Continue to grow a relationship with my parents as a man I am proud of being and that they are proud of.  I can't wait to see what is next.

I have been able to make a life as a growing fish in a huge pond.  Not small, but not dominatingly big either, just growing and improving. Happily.

What I would wish for anyone to experience and pursue based on the quality of their efforts.  IMHO, a perspective that any parent of quality would raise their kids with.  Spe-cial... is earned.