May or may not have told biobitch she has NPD...
So biobitch has come onto a new low of attacking mine and dh marriage because clearly she has nothing better to do. Bringing things about him and I up to her lawyer, trying to threaten him by making things up and telling me stories if she doesn't get her way etc etc. I had enough and may have sent a very nicely worded note telling her she has narsassistic personality disorder and that she should get checked out ( in addition to a few other niceties of course - just facts and observations ofbher behaviours and such). 5 years and never once have gotten involved... but damn it felt good to actually say my piece to that crazy SOB. I never got a response of course. I know the intended purpose was likely to get a rise out of me but it felt good to get it off my chest.
Also learned that she's fully managed to convince ss12 that DH abandoned him for over a year, that he never spent more than 5 days straight with his dad etc etc when there is record of almost 2 years of shared parenting, followed by a 2 on 1 off schedule up until Covid. We knew she was saying this stuff ( came up in court ), but never thought the kid would fully believe it. I'm a bit flabbergasted. Thankfully SS9 pipes up and tells SS12 that he's wrong because he remembers things correctly.
This is all coming back around to biobitch trying to go back on a court order that had not been filed because she agreed to one thing in front of the judge and is now saying she doesn't agree. Looks like we're going to end up going back to court and the mind games and manipulation are allllll going to come back up.
Good news is, DH and I had a really good solid discussion on boundaries, expectation etc and things with the steps are getting better in our house at least. He acknowledged and apologized for dropping the ball and putting it on me to pick up his slack and has been on top of of everything for the last two months. Schedules have been made, he's backing me up and talking to them about respecting me more and that I'm not their maid, cook etc. Some silver lining. Hope this lasts because the shit storm with biobitch is about to get baaaaad again....
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Sounds good
I'm glad you and DH are on the same page. That's everything.
It never goes well when you
It never goes well when you set a "alleged" narcissist straight ..... they will 100% of the time get defensive, go into denial, and start turning it around on YOU
And yeah as far as the stepson not remembering his visits.....take some family pictures of him there everytime he comes over and pull out the receipts anytime he or anyone else has selctive amnesia.
Not sure what it is with some of these men thinking their new partners are their maids, servants, free childcare but it's good you set boundaries and he fully acknowledged the error of his ways and changed for the better.
100% agree with you there! I
100% agree with you there! I think since I called her out it's starting more shit but if it's directed at both of us rather than just DH we can stand as a united front against the craziness
Taking photos is great advice... I will definitely start doing that. Catalog as proof. He likes to gaslight us and his brother all the time too which is insannnnne.
Definitely gave props to DH for that and am making sure to communicate that more to him as well. Instead of holding it in, we talk and I think that's also helping.
Ah yes
All of this is eerily familiar, right down to agreeing to one thing In court and then right after deciding she doesn't agree. It is not an easy life, especially when BM has mental/personality disorders and DH doesn't back you in areas. DH backing you is huge- I hope for your sake that continues! I had to remove myself from BM drama as far as possible to save my sanity. I have Crazy blocked, no communication between us at all, and somehow it's still overwhelming because she is so obsessed with talking about me and making things up. And don't even get me started on a PAS'd kid. It's exhausting.
I'm glad you managed to get
I'm glad you managed to get away from it! It takes up so much energy and its so not even worth it...
Thinking they can change their minds after the CO...
a classic PASing manipulative move. Another is not actually reading the CO and then playing the poor abused court victim card.
SpermGrandHag played this one regularly. Her dilusional ace in the hole was the Judge she was the maid for cleaning his office, home, and vacation property. "My Judge friend says.........."
Umm, SpermGrandHag, what your Judge friend thinks is shit just like what you think is shit. The CO is the CO regardless of your opinion or your Judge sugar daddy's opinion.
Oh yes... I have had to play
Oh yes... I have had to play these games.
There was one time when SS18, was 15-16 and snuck out of our house and got picked up by the cops. I called BM and woke her up at 2 am. DH is active duty and wasn't home that night, he had duty, so if I had to deal with her kid, she had to deal with her kid.
She said "I don't know what he was thinking" and I said "I do! You have raised him to think rules don't apply to him and that he is above the law! That is ALL you have taught him for years!" then I hung up. So that was a bit of a fun moment for me, but it just meant she didn't send him for a year after that (we are long distance).
The problem with showing any emotion or "saying your peace" to people like this is they just get better at being horrible people and try to turn it around on you.
SS snuck out and got picked up by the cops. I am the evil SM who yelled at him and so he doesn't feel safe in our home. -- Yeah... makes a lot of sense right? (I should have been the awesome SM who picked him up instead of letting him get arrested and have to wait until his dad could bail him out of jail the next evening!)
They always have a way to
They always have a way to project it onto anyone but themselves eh? Why is this such a common trait? Like... do these crazies have kids and then stop mentally maturing? It baffles me how many people on this forum have the same or very similar stories