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Social Media and SKs

Dogmom1321's picture

Submitted by Dogmom1321 on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 9:56am

Forums: 
General Discussion

There is a popular Mom on social media that I follow called AveryWoods. She posts skincare, family, clothes, exercise, lifestyle videos, etc. mostly on Instagram and TikTok. She has two bios (2&4yo) and also two SDs (12&13yo). She shows her bios but doesn't put her SDs on social media 1. They don't want to be 2. They have been bullied online in the past and 3. Their BM doesn't want them posted either. All of this seems totally reasonable, right??? WRONG! 

They recently took a family trip (including SDs) to Florida and had family pictures taken. Obviously she didn't post the ones with SDs. The comments were up in arms talking about how she doesn't include her SKs, her husband must have forgotten about his 'other children', how she wasn't being fair to SDs, etc. I was shocked! This is the MAJORITY of what people were saying. And they ripped into her for it. 

I don't understand why people who aren't step parents feel the need to assume what a blended family should look like. Another poster commented that she also doesn't post her SKs on social media so people just assume she hates them and excludes them constantly. 

So I got to thinking... my personal SD13 also chooses to NOT be involved. She groans at taking pictures (we stopped asking), doesn't want to do family activities, and asks DH to not send 'approved pics' to his family, even though it's just text messages to grandparents. Needless to say I absolutely DO NOT post SD13 on any of my social media. I'm sure people assume DH and I exclude her since apparently the majority of non-SMs think that. Ugh, so frustrating. Bottom line, my question is: do ANY of you post your SKs on your personal social media? I just assumed most SMs didn't...

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 10:31am

Personally I don’t think the influencer should even be posting her own children.  It really shocks me how many people go on social media and post their kids photos to the general public and don’t even stop to think that social media is basically a cesspool for pedo’s and creeps.  

Crspyew's picture

Submitted by Crspyew on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 10:46am

should be another concern.  I can't foe the life of me figure out why people so freely post identifying info on social media. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 2:33pm

When power sulk and I were friendly I did in fact post pics.

Back when she was a normal, healthy-looking happy kid, and we would go on adventures.

I always cleared it first.

The ONLY backlash I got was from a niece who would comment (pretty much the ONLY comment or like) and ask where feral forger was.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 10:45pm

that is their request... and they are old enough to have their opinion matter. Say... 10+.  The opinion of the oppostion parent, meh. IMHO, they get no say about what we do in our family including with the SKids when the SKids are with us also including pictures. Our family, our pictures, none of the blended fam oppositions business. If my prior breeder spouse has no issue with us posting a pic of our kid/Skid, the opposition failed family X gets zero say.

A Skid not wanting their pic on social media not withstanding.... Texting pics is somethine else. Texting pics to family, MY family.  I will share pics of MY family with MY other family members and MY friends. Including MY SKids.  Since my mate is in those pics, the SKid will be in the pics at my discretion.

We never had this issue. So, it was not something we had to deal with or make decisions on.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 5:43pm

I don't really post anyone.. My SD's are adults now.. but when they were minors.. it felt to "mom like" to be posting pics of them..a nd they have a mom and it's not me.. it would have just caused drama.

I will say.. I found an old pic at my DH's house one day of my YSD and her grandad (my DH's Dad).. and it was a cute picture.. and I posted it for my SD.. and guess who commented on the picture?  her mother.. "Hey.. That is my picture.. can you give it to me?"..   so.. no... lol.

I think it would be fairly simple to tell the "downers" on that page.. that 1.  My Stepkids are often with us... but it's their choice to not have a large and public social media presence.. so respect their wishes.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 9:27pm

Probably the worst thing about social media is that it gives every idiot a public way to share their opinion, and the most extreme ones get the most attention. I would think that people who make their living using social media would have to have a pretty thick skin to deal with the drama. 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Wed, 07/12/2023 - 11:57pm

It's been almost 2 years since I've posted a picture of the skids. I used to, but BM fussed about what one of the SDs was wearing in a picture I posted back then, so I decided I just wouldn't post any more pictures of them (my socials are pretty much locked down, so it's not like there's a wide circulation anyway), and I removed BM from my socials.  But for the fact that DH or MIL sometimes tag me when they post pictures of the SDs, you'd never know from my socials that the SDs exist or that DD has sisters. Whatever - not my kids, I really don't care one way or the other. 

Lifer33's picture

Submitted by Lifer33 on Thu, 07/13/2023 - 5:25am

I haven't posted my sk on social media since the day bm kicked off about me posting a picture of dh and ss at a bonfire night. She tore dh a new one and said she 'didn't know who I know ' 

Right.... Well thats odd as we all grew up together/same school,  and have many of the same friends/frenemies as its transpired... 

I cba with her bleep so on my socials it looks like ss doesn't exist 

AgedOut's picture

Submitted by AgedOut on Thu, 07/13/2023 - 7:07am

if you were to see my FB or other socials you'd never know I'm a grandma. My granddaughter's mom had asked me to not post photos of her so I haven't and even though she's 14.5 now, I still respect her mom's wishes. 

But, if it were a skiddo situation my rule of thumb would be: if Skiddos ask me not to, I won't. If DH asked me not to, I won't. If BM orders me not to... she can police her own home, I live in Dad's kingdom and don't take orders from a deposed ex-queen. Dad and I will decide for our kingdom, we are the reigning rulers.

 

ImperfectlyPerfect's picture

Submitted by ImperfectlyPerfect on Mon, 07/17/2023 - 2:16pm

Occassionally in the past I'd post - but rarely now. They never participated when I would tag them and they were pretty much a drag to get a smile out of. Once they became adults I felt I owe no such obligation...frankly I owed no obligation when they were older children. There's almost no benefit to putting up SKIDs and their in-laws - no one will appreciate it and you'll likely be burned in the end. Just my two cents - <3

Shieldmaiden's picture

Submitted by Shieldmaiden on Wed, 08/02/2023 - 5:05pm

 No. I let the parents post unless it's a cute photo of me and them at Halloween in costume or something. I have to be very careful because anything I post online can come back to bite me because of all the drama queens in that family. 

You'd think it was the end of the world that the teenaged SD's makeup wasn't perfect in that photo. Ugh.

Its just not worth the drama most times. Plus I removed my SD's from my online social media because they did cause drama once, and they posted nasty things in the comments about me. So..... just no.