But many of the problems most presented here on STalk are ones which are beyond control of most SParents, thus they feel a need to "vent" - which is an important distinction.

You have a very logical, rational and male-oriented approach to many situations, Rags, which is greatly appreciated here on STalk as it is an injection of reality which many people find useful, including myself.  

But. Most posters here are women who are dealing with other women (BMs, SDs, MILs) about relationship issues and that is a much different communication environment. Direct approach may not be the most optimum approach. Thus, there is a need to "vent" and just let off emotional steam which can be very helpful both mentally and otherwise. I've been on here for a long time now and its been helpful to have a place of like-minded others who KNOW what it's like and can understand the reason behind postings that can be petty as well as those of a more serious nature. 

I was not surprised to learn that the oldest living culture on the planet has "avoidance" practices where (for example) mothers in law do not speak directly with their daughters in law. They've been doing this for more than 40,000 years so that's some indicator of success. 

In fact, disengagement (doing nothing/avoidance) may be the only way to reach a truce for many situations. In my own personal experience, saying nothing and refusing to get involved has been the best solution to preventing problems.

IMHO, an important consideration which many do not take, is to NOT GET MARRIED or co-mingle assets if someone wants any chance of a relationship to succeed.  There have been times my SO has done something (especially financial) in regards to SD that I am absolutely aghast about but I don't say anything because it's not my money.  There are times I've been treated less than fairly as his partner, but I always knew if it became persistent I had the option where I could easily hitch up my horse and head out of Dodge without going through a costly divorce. 

Again, IMO and IMO only, the most important thing is to NOT have children with a prior parent unless and until you have many years of marriage under your belt and ideally, the skids are mostly launched or the bulk of financial support is due to end. 

This may seem logical, but it's oversimplified.

How many humans can live their lives in such an unfeeling manner and follow a little flowchart? Humans are often not logical when emotions are involved. And that "revise and adjust"? That's everything in life, both big and small. Your job, late to work because the bridge washed out, your friendships, unexpected home repairs, a new pet,, avoiding an accident while driving, health issues, a sick/dying family member... 

The only thing we can change is ourselves: our actions, our expectations. You can ask another person to change - lose weight, stop smoking, start reining in your kids - but the reality is that they will only make those changes if/ when they themselves want to do so. And those who do so at the demand of their partners frequently backsliding and may revert back to the same ol' same ol'.

Unruly skid? The NCP may not discipline for any number of reasons. Disney parent, is a 'freestyle' parent who believes it will all work out in the end, terrified of upsetting the CP who will make life hell for the NCP and (possibly) the skids, paralyzed with anxiety (much like someone who is overwhelmed with a mountainous task)...

We could discuss for hours all of the varying factors that leave your flowchart at the wayside. There are those of us whose entire lives have been "revise and adjust". I am 58yo and have never stopped. Like a willow, I can bend.

I think a "flow chart " can be a life saver when you are in so deep inside the emotions you can't find a way out.  Let's face it, some of the players in these stories up the emotions to manipulate and if you have never experienced this in your life, it's a mind F.  BTDT.  It's a tool. Not one that should be ruled out but employed if needed.  Healthy people have lots of tools to rely on. 

Can help with objectivity and clarify what the problems actually are when you're in the thick of it. Of course our emotions have to be factored in, as well as the emotions of the other people involved because those are contributing factors. 

I know I often sound like a broken record when I post because the issues I have are generally centered around the same people/events.  I'm venting and sharing fears, experiences and what have you. And there are some 'victories' along the way.

I appreciate every morsel of input I receive and I hope my responses are validating and helpful to someone else when they're feeling unheard or desperate for validation. 

Doing nothing can definitely be a valid way of proceeding,  especially when taking an action may do you more harm than good in the long run. And sometimes its 3 steps forward,  two steps back in the long game, waiting for things to play out before you see some desired change.  

In the end, just being able to analyze with objectivity can help.