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A Little Apprehensive Of Upcoming SD Visit

Russell1981's picture

Submitted by Russell1981 on Mon, 04/24/2023 - 12:22pm

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General Discussion

I have written about the struggle I have had with my SDs in the past and since finding this forum, and disengaging from the two youngest and my oldest I have been doing a lot better. 

I had some health issues that were related to the stress that my youngest SD had put me under. My blood pressure was extremely high and it felt as if I had to walk on eggshells every day, especially at the end. My stress is down considerably and I lost weight and changed my diet which resulted in getting off my blood pressure meds. 

My personal business has also taken off.

This coming weekend my SD22 is coming with her husband to visit my wife and kids for a week. She has been the best one with exception of a little hiccup she had a few weeks ago. However, just seeing the upcoming date on the calendar is giving me anxiety. 

My business can require me to travel so I am thinking of leaving for a few days to just get away and not be around the whole time. 

Despite raising these girls for 13 years I feel as if I am dealing with strangers that I can't or don't want to trust. While it is not SD22's fault as she has pursued a relationship with my family I unfortunately am unable to separate my emotions at this point because everything is so fresh. 

It really feels like a no-win situation for me. My wife is close to her and they speak every day.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Mon, 04/24/2023 - 12:35pm

Well, its good that she's the least problematic but a week of anybody is a long time.  So, yes, sadly your business requires you to be out of town.   I'd be there the day she arrives, " Hi, its great to see you!".   Leave and be gone til the day before she departs, " It was great to see you!"   Frankly, it will probably be a relief to her, too.

I'm glad your health and work are going better.  Good news!

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 04/24/2023 - 12:38pm

I think this would be a good compromise.. be there a few days.. but allow them ample time to bond.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Mon, 04/24/2023 - 12:47pm

“guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days". 

I definitely think its a good idea to have that "escape hatch" of work travel.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Submitted by 2Tired4Drama on Mon, 04/24/2023 - 1:25pm

And keep this in mind: It seems like you have a little bit of a connection with this SD, so why risk damaging it? And you KNOW that after spending several days in a row with her in your house, you WILL get upset.  

So do the easy thing. Do exactly like others have suggested; be there (if possible) for a quick hello, leave town and come back the day they are leaving.  Easy peasy.