I have an ss who is 7 and a sd 12. I have on BS who is 2 with dh SD gets along well with me but ss is very passive aggressive. Both live full time with DH. BM has dumped them on dh and not talked to them in about a year. She has history of dumping them on dad off and on. Dh thinks we're all one "big happy family" and used to be Severe Disney dad but he now thinks he's not and is a great parent. Ss will make passive aggressive comments all day long. He will randomly come in the room with me and BS and if BS is fussy or is being difficult (toddler) ss will say stuff like "maybe he hates you" "you never buy him toys like dad so he hates you" just really off putting crap. Anything I cook ss says is "disgusting" and makes him "want to vomit" but the other kids in the house eat it just fine and tell me it's good he's the only one who hates everything I cook. He will also say he's not hungry if he sees me cooking. I will offer to make him something and he will say no and go eat candy or ice cream instead. Dh has tried to get him out of the habit but dh work all the time and is practically never here. He only acts decent when dh is around the moment he leaves he's starts making comments. He likes to play fight with bs but he plays really rough and if their playing with pillows soft toys or something he always goes for bs face and keeps hitting him in the face. When I try to correct him he doesn't say anything and just walks off. Hes always trying to knock bs to the ground and pushes him.  Dh says I'm overreacting that's how boys play. If I question anything ss does dh says I'm "showing who I really am" like I'm a bad person and picking on ss or something. He follows dh around like a puppy almost like mini wife syndrome. He interuppts constantly and asks to hug and kiss dh every 15 sec and no I'm not exaggerating he will literally ask dh for a hug and kiss every 15 seconds the whole time he's here. He's always eavesdropping on me and dh. He tells him "I love you daddy" constantly. Dh thinks he does it cause he's "such a great father". The other night ss threw himself on the ground thinking I didn't see him do and bs hit him which was a lie. Then kept fake limping and continuing to throw himself on the ground pretending he can't walk I told I saw him throw himself the first time he got up and just walked off no difficultly all rude stomping his feet and slammed his door shut. Anythine he goes to the neighbors to play he always has to make negative comments that the people there are mean to him are liars and tricking us and annoy him on purpose ect. I've noticed the neighbors are treating me different too like he's making up lies about me to them as well. They texted dh one time asking if I fed him before he came over to play cause he said he was hungry and I didn't feed which was I lie cause he refused to eat when I offered to make him something. Everytime he refuses to eat I tell his dad cause I'm scared he's gonna make up lies about me. His dad and the neighbor have caught on to his lies too cause he accuses everybody of something even his dad. When dh is at work he will tell me randomly "My dad is mean to me he won't ever buy me Nintendo switch games" or "I don't think it's fair my dad will but 800 in car parts but can't spend 60 dollars on a new switch game for me" or "my dad needs to buy me a phone I think I deserve a phone so I can play call of duty on it". His dad says he's not Disney dad but ss has a switch, a Playstation, an Xbox all set up for his personal use in his room. Also has a monthly Xbox game subscription that has 100s of game but ss doesn't like ANY of the games and game dh buys ss gets bored or hates it within 10 min. One time dh walked in ss room and i guess it startled ss so he pulled the Xbox and the TV fell with it on the floor and broke. Dh says it's dhs fault for walking in his room too quickly and he went out and bought brand new Xbox and TV for ss that say night and hugged and kissed him and told him he's sorry he "startled" him. Ss thinks he's a victim even his sis gets annoyed of him. If the internet stops working he comes to me and starts crying. Real emotional tears over random things. One time he signed out of his Netflix and I didn't know the password and he started crying. One time his dh went to go get the mail and ss comes out asking he thinks someone is outside and when dh came back in ss was crying cause it scared him that someone was outside. I don't know how getting the mail could scare him but whatever. Dh hugged him looked at me like the behavior was "cute" and awwwwwww. I don't know if this is normal for a 7 year old. It's only dh he goes to and he makes sure I see it everytime. I've disengaged somewhat at this point. I still cook clean ect but I try to keep myself busy cause I don't know what else to do. Dh sometimes calls ss out on alot of the passive aggressiveness but then other times he's giving in to ss demands. He claims he's not Disney dad but he also thinks ss can do no wrong and  poor him that mommy left and won't calm him so he encourages the victimness and ss for sure thinks he's a victim. he's a victim anytime something unpleasant like having to go to school he thinks the school are liars and are tricking us and don't feed him and punish him for no reason. We've talked to his teacher he does the same stuff with her says he's not hungry refuses to do anything then claims no one helped him when the offered multiple times. He's always talking about how smart he his and he's better then everyone else he always has to correct you. If you tell him to clean his room or something he says "my dad didn't tell me to" and won't do even though his dad has told him to clean his room multiple times. He's a big time smart@$$ and will correct you on everything. If you say its bed time he tells you "I don't thinks it fair You get to stay up and I dont" if his dad lectures him he says "Okkkkkkk" or "whateverrrrrr" in the biggest attitude possible and sighs like huhhhhhh as you are irritating him for correcting him how dare you. He always argues with you "actuallyyyy your wrong" all day long with teacher too. Severe addiction he can't walk anywhere he has run and jumps on his bed constantly. Dh not interested in getting help for him cause he's a normal 7 year old boy and he was like that when he was little 

I need some advice for how to handle this. Dh does try sometimes but feels so guilty for ss and gives in everytime and makes excuses for him even when ss lies about other people mistreating him dh will say "oh he just misunderstood he's a kid" like no what if he makes serious allegations like I'm uncomfortable around this kid as I said the neighbors were treating me different for awhile before they starting catching on cause he started making lies about them too so he gave himself away but still its scary. I always tell dh and thr teacher the stuff he says or when he intentionally throws himself to the ground cause who knows what he's gonna make up. 

We have no issue with SD she also know how ss is. It would be sad for the family to get destroyed all because of dh and ss. SD is very happy here and doesn't like her brothers drama. It seems he's trying to divide everyone from neighbors to school and his dad. I just don't get why a child would want to destroy his own family. I cook for him clean ect and go out of my way to take care of this family. I even make homemade cookies one time for them and he said "that looks disgusting there not from the store" and had to ask his Dads permission if homemade cookies are good to eat. He also will bring anything I cook for him telling his dad to try it to see if it's disgusting or he will accuse me of putting spicy stuff in it. Like they are store bought chicken nuggets all I did was heat them up and no one else thinks there disgusting even my 2 year old who is picky eats them.