College in divorce decree?
Is there anyone else who has college for the stepkids in the original divorce decree?
Here is my big concern:
DH's decree with BM says that DH is responsible for "up to 1/2" of college tuition for SS17.
SS17 hasn't spoken to his dad for over a year.
DH would use his post 9/11 GI bill for this tuition, but that means paperwork has to be filled out, credits allotted to SS, etc.
I feel like if we have our lawyer send over a letter to BM and her lawyer stating the DH needs to be involved in college discussions and notice properly and timely given in order for government paperwork to be processed for payment. Have this letter submitted to the courts. We should be covered if SS comes at us in 4-5 years with a bill demanding DH pay up and we say NOPE, we don't know who you are. We are not an open check book, even though that is what you have been taught. But I don't know how all of this works.
Has anyone had to deal with court ordered college tuition?
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What does your lawyer say?
What does your lawyer say?
I can see pros and cons.. and I highly doubt your DH will ever be allowed to be part of the conversation or decision making.
What he may be able to get is the information necessary to have the GI bill apply.. but she could be a real turd.. get him stuff late and then he would have to pay out of pocket if the GI bill process doesn't have some kind of process to account for things like this.
He said he is going to get it
He said he is going to get it all on record when we go back to court but that date is still TBD and we have the appeal and contempts being heard in 2 different courts. So I honestly don't know what is happening.
What you are saying is the reason I want it all on record of giving notice on exact timelines needed for DH to pay thru the GI bill. The resources are there, but without the info being given to DH, they can't be disbursed. It's no different than not giving an insurance card to the ER and sending DH the bill. We have insurance, not our fault she didn't use it.
The difference is that it is
The difference is that it is possible to go back and file a claim manually with your insurance company and sometimes get a refund of the amount you paid out of pocket..
Is that possible with this GI bill thing? Could he go back and get reimbursed after the fact?
Nope.
Nope.
Definitely put a clause in about
LACHES!! So she can't come in after the fact as all HCGUBMs do and demand papework 2, 3, 4 etc years later.
That is my biggest fear. That
That is my biggest fear. That's why I want paperwork send and them formally warned that this is how it has to be.
But the thing is that it
But the thing is that it appears that according to his CO it is not stipulated that his GI Bill is to be used does it?
You are looking at this from.. "we don't have the money.. but his GI bill will cover half".. she doesn't give a rip how her EX pays it.. in fact.. she probably would just as likely want to make it as painful as possible.. which means missing your deadline to the GI bill so he has to pay out of pocket.. and while you "don't have the money".. it would just be added to the long balance of money he owes her in back support.
It is vital that you figure out how to ensure that his obligation is tied to her providing documents in enough time to process for the GI bill.. if you don't? you are at her mercy.. and frankly this doesn't work out well for him based on your experience right?
Is it possible for him to transfer these credits now.. without knowing the exact institution? I'm guessing not.. but this is lining up to be another disaster and she is again putting you at her mercy. (and I don't think any 'notice" you give her now will amount to a hill of beans really.. it would be just hoping and with her.. you know what you have right?)
I think because the GI Bill
I think because the GI Bill is being used that your DH does need to have it in writing so there is no confusion. This may also be something you bring up with a different attorney who specializes in military divorce and handles GI Bill issues. I know that's another expense, but your current attorney can't be bothered to do their job so it might be good to get some insight from someone who knows better.
Also, is your DH going to be retired before SS would theoretically be done with college? If so, he should look up any veteran tuition programs in KS. Here in Anti-Canada, the state will pay tuition at a state school for any child of a disabled vet. My DH's rating is high enough that OSS gets free tuition (though he still has to pay room and board plus fees). I would either outline it in the original letter OR as an addendum later that DH will contribute through those means as well if your DH/SS qualifies.
Get it all in front of the courts now to avoid drama later.
Proactive closing of loops is far better than trying to work through it afte the fact and they have the
"Daddy has to pay half" element of the divorce decree.
Since you are trying close
Since you are trying close loopholes , specify how much schooling he will cover. Bachelor is enough IMO. Anything after that SS should cover himself. Specify reimbursement will go directly to school once bill and report card is received. Beware the skid that drops after classes start. You might a penalty for dropping classes and an age limit if he doesn't finish at all. You need a final end date for all money to end.
I really, really, really hope
I really, really, really hope you can get that clause updated.
I was very concerned with DH's CS order but the college statement was very general; basically DH and BM had to agree on the parental split, that was it. Thank God. He's right now paying nothing for OSD because no one, not BM and not OSD, would discuss college choices, locations, costs, support options, etc. with him. And they wanted him to "contribute" some amount going in blind. No. He stated to OSD very clearly, no relationship, no money (i.e. real world ramifications at this point).
What a horror story if BM could come back after the fact and claim costs, or a 50/50 split or worse with your DH having no say, no end date (either to age or to college length or location). I would be very clear as well to see if you can get a clause in there for in-state only, 4 years maxium, with passing grades AND access/contact with SS. If he refuses a relationship, then no funds; also I've seen this stated that if your DH doesn't have access to SS's school information then NO pay. I have a feeling that's what OSD/BM would do with DH - block him from any access to school records. If you are paying for that school then access should be required (i.e. to make sure he's enrolled and to access grades and school fees). Only pay directly to school.
Think it through very carefully because I don't believe your lawyer will.
That is what I am working on
That is what I am working on with DH now. I want to basically do the outline for the letter and then send it to him to legal it up and get it sent to BM, her attorney, SS (since he will be 18 next month) and have it go on record for this case.
The good news is I found out that the application for the GI bill takes about 6 weeks so if we give them like a May 1st deadline to send DH his college info, that will be more than enough time. It will also be before he deploys, because that is going to be a whole other level of complications.
She has to agree..otherwise
She has to agree..otherwise your legal letter is not worth anything
I spoke with our attorney
I spoke with our attorney this morning. He is going to send notice to BM, SS, BM's attorney and file it with the courts. He believe that the notice will be enough to show reasonable efforts have been made on DH's behalf to provide for college expenses for SS and that if SS will not cooperate, DH should have an out on paying.
Hopefully that is true. Who knows with this stupid court system.
My other hope is that if we wind up in front of this same judge again we would be successful in getting a change of venue due to having 2 illegal orders issued by this judge now.