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SD gets away with murder

leashjae's picture

Submitted by leashjae on Wed, 08/24/2022 - 5:51pm

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Parenting Issues

Honestly so stuck at knowing what to do. I have and 8.5 year old SD and 1 year old. DH refuses to tell SD off even when she's being extremely naughty. Which is often at the moment. She simply gets a "don't do that again" and straight back to being nice and silly with her and it happens again the next day. Infant is naughty he loses it at him and tells we off like crazy. I don't get the differences :( 

BM doesn't tell SD off either so she literally gets away with everything and it's so hard

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 08/25/2022 - 3:16am

Who the heck loses it with a 1 yr old? Yells at him? WTF is wrong with your DuH? 

I've just read over your other post and have to ask you what is good about this relationship? Why would you want to subject your child to being mistreated, put last, ignored, etc? Don't you think he deserves better? Why do you continue to stay in a poisoned situation like this? Your SD isn't going to get any better and your DH doesn't see what's wrong with the situation and is going to continue to treat your son like a scapegoat. Time to think of your son's protection. I'd be packing my bags ...

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 08/25/2022 - 12:46pm

I want to say that you need to leave anyone who "loses it" with a baby but that also means he will have unsupervised visitation without you there to intervene. 

That means you are going to have to stand up and put a stop to him saying anything negative to your child. Pick the baby up and walk to the other room. Remove your child from being yelled at. Protect your child. 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 08/25/2022 - 1:04pm

OTOH, as he's totally absorbed by SD, would he even bother taking visitation? 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 08/26/2022 - 9:23pm

isolated corner or put her in her room until you get tired.

If DH won't parent, that leaves you to do it. If he does not like how you parent and discipline he can step up and get it done before you have too.  To your expectations of course.

Putting an ill behaved spawn in a room away from the rest of the family/household works to get them the hell away from everyone else and to have the time to contemplate the issue that got them separated from the rest of the household.

IMHO of course.

Then there are sentences. Tens of thousands of them, all in perfect hand writing, perfect grammar, and perfect puntuation.  8.5yrs old is prime age to start the endless sentences tactic.  If a kid is misbehaving they can write a sentense about it... over... .and over... and over again.

"I will behave as I know I should, be respectful of others, and do what I am told when I am told to do it."

Lather, rinse, repeat at a pace of 120-180 sentences an hour until the message sinks in.

Good luck.