Interesting post about a father not allowing his daughter to use his home as wedding venue

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I came across this post today: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/m18qrf/aita_for_not_allo...

In summary:

- Father allows his stepdaughter to use his home for a wedding

- His biodaughter's wedding venue gets cancelled because of covid

- She asks to use her father's home as well

- But the father at one point had a restraining order against his ex. So he refuses and offers FIFTEEN thousand dollars instead.

- Cue extreme guilting from the daughter and eventual disinvite of the father to his own daughter's wedding

- This is AFTER the father says ok to using his land but no to using the bathrooms in his home.

Oh, and I found an update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s1jcvy/update_to_aita_fo...

- Father gives in and agrees to let the daughter have access to both land and house

- Daughter says too bad, too late and has wedding at her grandmother's home instead. She still takes the $15K

- Stepmother and stepsister get disinvited from wedding

- Father goes alone where he gets shunned and cursed out by his daughter

- Stepmother vilified (as usual) and the stepdaughter and her husband have to move away because the stepdaughter's husband worked in the family company

It's obvious from the father's post that he filled with guilt and will eventually do anything to get crumbs of affection from his daugher.

What a godwaful mess.

There was a restraining order in place and yet nobody seems to remember that. There are people who should not be together , this group is a perfect example. Bride seems totally disappointed but put the blame in the wrong direction. The nerve of her asking her dad to put all that aside. What a $#itshow!

Exactly!! How soon they forget!

I got stuck at "his home".

I got stuck at "his home". Like the stepmother was a guest who could be evicted for the festivities.

My prediction is the daughter looking for more money for the grandchild birth to come. Pay up or you won't see your grandchild -- and don't bring that woman with you when you come at the inconvenient time I require.

The 2nd link its just typical

How the current wife and her daughter are blamed as convenient scapegoats and the daughter getting married doesn't acknowledge its her mum who originally caused the bad blood to exist. But the daughter cares more about her abusive threatening mum and family being uncomfortable rather than the innocent current wife and her daughter

This comment below from 2nd link:

"Are you kidding? I would be fine with that accommodation if she acted like an adult. However, once she went on Facebook with your personal business and rallied others against you, it’s game over. No way would i even consider having it on my property without a real, sincere apology to you and your wife and stepdaughter. However, even with that, your ex wife and her friends will seek you out at the wedding and make your day miserable."

Pretty much sums up the situation really. Frankly she had no shame keeping the 15k. My own husband has said there is no way in hell he'd be forking out money that was close to our wedding budget for his kids. Might chuck in a few grand to cover catering but if his kids want fancy over the top weddings for show, they can be mature grown ups and cover that cost. But my husband has never been someone frivolous with money and a newly married couple should be looking to put money towards a mortgage, not a fancy over the top wedding that they'll never recoup the costs for.

This comment below from 2nd link:

You know.. it kind of reminds

You know.. it kind of reminds me of a situation we have with my DH's EX. He DESPISES her.. in fact, is likely to not attend his younger daughter's wedding, in large part, because he doesn't want to be anywhere near her.

We also have some land.. one of the waterfront lots could be subdivided into two parcels.. we have at times toyed with giving each girl one of those.. BUT.. BUT.. of course they would want their mom to visit them right? (and I don't blame them).. that would mean their mom would basically be coming next door to us! NO THANK YOU. They may get it when we are dead..lol.

Same here

Hubby's exwife had her police dad and brother threaten hubby multiple times to stab or shoot him to death if he didn't give her more money in the divorce.

exwife got bugger all in the divorce because hubby could prove how she never added to his quality of life. Exwife even had her batshit family threaten hubby to gove more gifts, jewellery, dowry money before wedding, hubby wanted money saved to buy a house.

its for these reasons that hubby may not attend either of his daughters weddings because their mum will find a way to create a scene and make hubby the antagoniser and reality is hubby has had no contact with her family since they married. He was pressured by his family to not cancel the wedding on the wedding day or it would bring shame on the family. Hubby told his mum he was gonna divorce this woman, he just knew it.

i and my kids will not be present at skids weddings. Ss i'm not sure if he'll want his mum at his wedding, we'll see when the time comes because bio mum abandoned him and I don't believe he got over that. Ss knows from his dad that our 2 kids together, although a big age gap, lovingly just want a relationship with him and they're really the only family of his and not his sisters from bio mum because its a really odd dysfunctional relationship and its not one i see my kids ever wanting

I'll be the odd woman out.

I'll be the odd woman out. This story, I remember it, had a one sided slant and has huge gaps. Without those gaps filled or actual non-dad-friendly details we really can't be villifying one person based on a one sided story.

We see it all the time, knee jerk reactions w/out fact or even proof of nonfiction.

It sounds like everyone got what they wanted. Dad got to not have a wedding he didn't want on his property, SD got hers done all good, Daughter got married and is moving on in her life.

Before you hate on me, most people jumped into the 'evil spawn should go rot in hell' train, I didn't. I think in this case everyone got exactly what they wanted-ish. There was no winner for this, there never would have been. Life will go on for all of them and now he doesn't have to worry about her bringing anyone near him again. sad win-win-win.

I wish we could have had the entire story because this one just doesn't have all the details.

Very few have complete detail and nearly all are one sided.

This is a SParent vent site after all. It is not a equity presentation of views on a situation from all sites by all participants in the IRL event.

The restraining order, though expired, is the deal breaker for

me.

There is not a snowball's chance in hell that I would allow the perpetrators address in the RO to set foot on my property. So, I would inform my daughter that she was more than welcome to use my home/property as her wedding venue though none of the those named in the RO would be allowed on my property.

That supports the DD, and continues to hole the toxic XW/XILs accountable for their established and RO covered behaviors.

This F-Trophy of a daughter and the FOB's mother have no business in his life. If I were the FOB, that is a hill I would plant a flag on and defend. Period. Dot. In addition, I would sue to get my money back if I had already provided it. If I had not yet handed it over, they can F-Off.

I would also send everyono on the guest list a nice envelope with a copy of the RO so they would at least have the Facts rather than F-trophy daughter's and GrandHags lies and crap.

Just my thoughts of course.

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Interesting post about a father not allowing his daughter to use his home as wedding venue