My husband and I have been married for a year, together for over three years. We met shortly after he and his ex filed for divorce. My SK are 17, 18 and 21. I had a relationship with the youngest almost immediately, but in reality, none of them have really accepted the divorce, even 4 years later. Recently, the 18 year old told him she did not accept our marriage. We never see my SK and don't hear from them unless they need money, a favor or a text telling dad how they don't feel he loves them, he doesn't do enough, etc. But they clearly don't want to spend time with him, they just want to make him feel guilty that he "doesn't" (he tried in the past and the oldest wasn't talking to him, the middle was always busy, sleeping, working, etc., and the youngest would come over but eventually left early because BM needed him to help clean the house, or do some other random thing). 
 

Recently, my DH got a text from my youngest SS with the same guilt trip message. I encouraged him to reply back with an offer that they all needed to attend counseling together because the nothing else was going to fix their relationship (and he gently pointed out some other things to defend himself for once, while also reiterating that he loves them). SS never replied back. 
 

A lot of these textx seem to get triggered when I post about our lives on fb (I am friends with the kids and BM). Last year, when we had a rental home, things seemed to be great. We hosted my oldest SS's graduation party, and my SD's birthday party. My parents came and everyone got along great. My mom and BM were even talking like old friends. Then we had to move in with my parents due to my health and not being able to work (chronic health issues, breast cancer, etc). This year, they had my oldest SS's 21st party and never told my DH. I can't help feeling used and like a fool. BM very much has borderline personality disorder. 
 

So I'm deleting my fb because I don't know how else to get my peace back. If I unfriend then, battle lines will be drawn and I'm not sure my DH is comfortable with that (though he is hurt by them, he continues to give them money whenever they ask if he has it, above the significant child support already being paid, or do whatever favor they ask at a moment's notice--he says he is "just about done", but he is a kind hearted man and a softie). 
 

I am sorry for the long post but wanted to share my story. It has been a hard year with one major medical issue after another, then the cancer, then an eviction (which was a blessing in disguise), and nothing but drama from the kids. I thought them seeing us lose our home would make them realize what their dad is working to provide for them (a roof over their head), but they've been raised to see him as an ATM and someone who's job it is to take care of them and fix things, and nothing more. He's a convenience to

them. It breaks my heart and pisses me off.