One thing most of these divorced single parents have in common

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They are all broke and looking for someone to help them out. And I don't care how good looking and great they think they are, if they ain't broke (and believe me most of them are) they need a free sitter/nanny while they are out playing around.

And most of them mistreated

And most of them mistreated their exes too. I don't know how many times I hear on here the ex is the problem. Chances are there are two sides to that story too. Good luck ladies! These guys are trash and have nothing to offer you. Many mistreat woman too and most of them are broke. Looks only last so long.

This!!!!

This is sooo true!

I’m a little more of an optimist than that.

Not all are dirt bags. There are plenty of them who are decent men with XWs who are evil skanks or decent women with XHs who are complete asshole cheaters. A penis does not dictate that a man is inherently an abuser nor does a vagina dictate that a woman is the counter point abuser to the POS man.

In my life there are a few examples of 2nd marriages where one or both are divorced from nasty Xs and great men and women of character and supportive loving spouses to each other.

An interesting question would be ... how many subsequent marriages for a prior divorced couple succeed and fail? In my case, My XW is on at least DH #3, has three out of wedlock children by two different men and two of those children were cheat babies. She was pregnanat when she moved out of our marital home with the spawn of her Geriatric Fortune 500 Sugar/Baby daddy's spawn and was pregnant with the spawn of the cheat partner she was with when the Geriatric Fortune 500 Sugar/Baby daddy booted her cheating skank whore ass out. She may be a husband or 6 farther down that road by this point.

I am on my 2nd marriage andmy bride and I have been married for 27+ years.

Actually I think we much more

Actually I think we much more commonly hear the advice that the SM's partner is the problem.. not the ex. Sure there are some particularly heinous EXes on these stories... but in most cases, it's the way our spouses handle their kids and EX that cause the real issue.

Sounds like you got burned -

Sounds like you got burned - but not all divorced men are cut from the same cloth. It does pay to heed red flags and be cautious, though.

Money stopped being an issue

Money stopped being an issue for DH as soon as he got the separation. CS and Alimony were way cheaper than the financial damage his ex did while they were married.

Yeah, my DH wasn't really too

Yeah, my DH wasn't really too broke - but he never paid anything above what he was ordered to pay, unlike some of these men.

I agree, not all divorce's are problematic.

Though it is good to be wary for anyone dating one. Particularly when their are Skikds involved.

I was 3.25yrs post divorce when I met my bride. She was a single teen mom with a 15mo old baby who was fairly freshly out of a relationship with the Spermidiot.

I had zero intent to remarry, ever. I was done. My XW had gutted me and I had lost being the person I enjoyed being. I lost myself. I was to a point where I started meeting and dating some great ladies after progressing through a few years of actively dating but not engaging any GFs that had long term potential.

Then .. I met this amazing young woman who immediately threw my forever a single bachelor plans into chaos. When we met and married neither of us had much. I had just graduated with my BS in engineering, I took a job out of state and left after we had been dating for just over 3 months. We both figured that it was over. Meanwhile 5mos later and back at the ranch, I had yet another $600+ phone bill. So, I proposed. We married 8mos after we started dating. We have built what we have together, raised a kid together, and very much enjoy our life.

Even khowing what I know about our experience, i would advise caution to anyone entering a relationship with a divorce' or single parent. The odds of a positive outcome are not good. That said, sometimes the X really is the problem and good people make bad choices in a mate. I like to consider myself one of those. A man who married with the intention of being a husband, etc... Unfortunately the woman I married was not the woman I carried across the threshhold of the honeymoon suite at the hotel after the reception. That 2.5 years were brutal. The upside is that I learned a lot about myself, was able to reconnect with the man I enjoy being, and it helped me to be a good husband to my incredible bride of 27+ years.

When marriages break up,

When marriages break up, usually the joint finances take a hit when splitting things up.whether there are kids involved or not.

I would say that "everyone" is looking for a PARTNER and that kind of means helping each other... I do think that a lot of MEN are more fish out of water when it comes to raising the kids directly.. and some are looking for a partner that is interested in being in a relationship with them and their kids.. which might mean helping.

I am not sure how big your personal sample size has been... but not everyone is a user. Sure there are some crappy parents.. some crappy people in general. When you dip into the divorce pool.. there is always a chance that your getting someone that played some part in the breakup... and when you dip into the parent pool for dating.. you get kids that come along with that. I don't necessarily mean you could predict the full spectrum of things but the fact that the kid exists and will be part of your life should be pretty basic. ( i didn't say responsibility of course)

I know my dh is off of the

I know my dh is off of the problems when it comes to his daughter, but BM is the BIGGER issue.

DH allows sd to get away with a lot, but he hasn't always. BM has always given sd an out for all her actions. DH would punish sd (take away phone/ ground from TV/ ground her from video games), but as soon as she gets home to BM's (after 2 days of punishment), BM would pity sd, take her side, tell her how wrong DH was for not taking her side, how she couldn't believe how we were treating her.

Then after years of this BM would tell DH how he's a detriment to sd's mental health and how she's always so depressed after leaving or home...

So after all this DH has literally given up on sd (which i do not condone), which now means sd faces ZERO consequences EVER for any of her actions.

While married, SAH BM threw

While married, SAH BM threw the kids at my now DH the moment he walked in the door from work with a "you're on." He helped with homework, made dinner, put the kids to bed etc. and took care of the kids on weekends. She needed her "alone time" and treated DH like the dog of the family while she and Las Diablas were supreme. Even after they divorced (while Las Diablas were tweens) he did the lion share of work related to parenting. When I came into the picture DH was just happy that I actually cooked dinner for everyone. He handled Las Diablas. The OSD would literally bark orders at him just like BM. "Dad, make me a sandwich! Dad, I told you I hate cold sandwiches, I like hot sandwiches. <stomping foot> I want it grilled!!!" I would have lost my ever loving sh*t but he somehow stays calm AND he slowly learned to call them out on their god-awful behavior and no longer tolerates what he used to. He did ok for himself financially as well. BM finally had to get an entry level job. Lol She got fired and is now on her 3rd entry level job.

I mean if I was home all day

I mean if I was home all day with the kids, that's a CRAZY full time job, and it's completely thankless... yea, DH BETTER help with the kids when he gets home!!! I mean you're a chef, a waitess, a chauffer, a nanny, a nurse, a maid, a therapist ALL DAY LONG, yes you don't get paid for it, YES you are their parent, but it's STILL a job, so when the second parent comes home, he gets to play a part in raising his kids... my dad had the same philosophy that you do, mom is the ONLY parent and when daddy helps with kids, he's being a babysitter... he even told my mom one day that he'll babysit the kids so that she can go to the grocery store... baby sit your own kids? yea no, you're a parent and need to parent your kids... SAHM do it all day long, when you get home it is YOUR turn to get in on it too

The kids were in preschool

The kids were in preschool/school, so nope, she was not home with the kids all day. She did drive them to school. Whoop tee do

Not just no but hell no.

When a career partner gets home from work they are not "on" and the SAHP is off. Work time is from the time the first person leaves for work in the AM until the last person arrives home in the evening.

At that point it is "our" time to take care of the house, pets, and kids. It is not the non-SAHP's turn while the SAHP sits on their ass just because they were "home" all day dealing with kids, etc. work time is when both partners work. Home time is when both partners deal with home/family life.

100% agree. I stayed at home

100% agree. I stayed at home for a total of 4 years when my kids were little. I don't think I ever did the "Your turn!" crap. I get very frustrated knowing that my SIL does that to my brother. There is a big difference of having a hard day with the kids and saying "Are you ok with me going to take a shower?" and getting 30-45 min of peace and a chance to reset, vs. "You deal with them now!"

My DW never played the "your

My DW never played the "your turn" card during her SAHM years either. She was a SAHM for the first 3 years or our marriage. We struggled with housework during that time just because we were both full time students, I worked insane hours in my then recently launched career, and we were raising a toddler.

Not that our home was not presentable. It usually was. But, it was not pristine by any measure.

We have evolved that over the years. Now we both deal with it together. Other than our current kitchen which is not much larger than a postage stamp. There is no room for two of us to work in it at the same time and alone I can have it fully cleaned in 15mins or less.

My SIL on the other hand, for nearly all of the years my brother and his wife had young kidsc, we were working 10-15 hour days and the second he walked in the door at the end of a long day she would hand him the kids and disappear for hours. He cleaned the house, cooked, cared for the kids, etc.... He and I had a major disconnect over that. I was mortified with what was going on in his marriage and I finally said something because he looked like hammered dog shit every day. I was worried about him. At that time we worked together at the same company and for the first 5+ years we commuted together.

Once I finally said something he got angry with me. I just told him that his wife was using him and he needed to grow a pair and structure their home life so he was not working insane hours at work then insane hours at home. I did not know it at the time that she had informed him that he would do what she wanted him to do or she would take his kids and her wealthy parents would make sure he did not see them and that he would have to pay a shit ton of CS. Once he did share that I went into my "go to war" default which he did not do, and did not appreciate.

That was when my DW and I adopted the "Work time" model. We did not want to experience what my younger brother was experiencing.

It took the better part of two decades for my brother to get past his misery in his marriage. They seem to be okay now that their kids are adults, only one is on the mom and dad payroll in his second year of university. My SIL had breast cancer with a full radical mastectomy a few years ago. That seems to have finally aligned them as an actual strong life partnership. Though my SIL is still about as superficial as a person can be.

Interestingly, my brother and I agreed early in our marriages that neither of us married a person the other would have chosen for them. My incredible bride has earned my brother's respect fully over the years. He loves her to death and they have a great relationship.

I get his concerns from the early years. She was a single teen mom and I was a new gradaute engineer. He was concerned I was being taken advantage of. He was a new graduate engineer (they had married 8mos before my wife and I married, and my niece was born 4mos later). My SIL was what she is even then. She was superficial and incapable of supporting herself. Neither of those is anything even close to what my bride was and is.

For the longest time my brother was miserable. He did not have a partner, he had a dependent.

My brother was on the edge of ending the marriage for a very long time due to "having 4 kids, one (he) is married to".

I am glad they are in a good place finally. That is a load off of my caring brother heart.

I have been in both roles and

I have been in both roles and both were a lot of work. A strong partnership is key.One thing I know for sure is that when I was a SAHM I didn't throw my kids at my husband the moment he walked in the door, not because I gave him deference as a man but because I actually LIKE taking care of my own children. I love being a mom to my babies.

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One thing most of these divorced single parents have in common