SD shoots pics and vedios of me secretly

Forums:

Hello everyone

I'm writing this post while I'm sure it's also an issue for both biological parents and step parents.

I noticed that my SD opens her camera and tries to shoot pictures or videos of me. When I approached her, she pretends that she istyping or she closes the camera quick. I thought I was wrong until one of my friends that her daughter in the same high school as SD notified that and she prevented her daughter to share this bad behavior of making videos secretly and share them with their friends to make fun of it.

Last week we were in a restaurant and I accidentally spelled water on the table I noticed her making vedio and laugh with her friend.

Also, my other SD she confessed about sharing secretly vedios about her mom with friends while their mom talking or wearing her pajama....etc

Now, how can I prevent thus to happen again as I can't tolerate that my private life be shared with teens to make fun of it

Legally? Any tips?

Take her phone, destroy it,

Take her phone, destroy it, and destroy her SIM card. End of problem.

Inform her that there will be no phones in your home for the duration of her visitation years. PERIOD!

In fact, your partner should be the one to do all of these things and if necessary, turn her over his knee and light her ass up. As any parent should in these circumstances.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

I'm still bothered and need

I'm still bothered and need to know how many videos did she make so far and had fun with her friend watching them

I don'know if the soker cial worschool can helpker t

You in all likelihood never

You in all likelihood never know how many videos she took or she and her friends laughed about. Don't give her or this any more space in your head. Bring the pain, keep bringing the pain, and make sure she knows unequivocally that she will not pull any of her shit again until she launches. IMHO, this also means she forfeits any support after she turns 18 or graduates from HS whichever is the later.

Don't give her any advanced

Don't give her any advanced warning that you will be confiscating her phone, or. she will make backups of her videos and pics. Just take it away next time you see her and wipe it.

She is not in your home with that phone. Either it’s

Confiscated for duration of visit or she is banned from the home.

my sd's whom i only met after they ended contact 5.5 yrs even on first visit were taking pics of my kids and sharing it to inlaws and batshit crazy bio mum. My kids were 1 & 2.5 and nothing gave them the right to take those pics when we had no relationship with them and did not know them.

they told their mum/stepdad and inlaws basically where we went, what we did/spoke everything you could imagine and gave a running commentary of what bio mum and stepdad said.

i refused to attend any meets they would be at. My kids aren't manipulative pawns to make them seem upper class and refined because they come from a dysfunctional family. My husband knows this is a firm line he won't cross with me.

No phone = no videos. If she

No phone = no videos. If she absolutely must have a phone available due to coming home to an empty house or something, get a flip phone or a house phone.

I agree that as a consequence

I agree that as a consequence to her behavior she should not have access to any phone or recording device...

but legally, what can you do about him recording you? that depends on the laws where you live. Where I live i can record any interaction that I am involved in, even if the other people are unaware of being recorded. But some places you can press charges.

The day an adult can't choose

The day an adult can't choose whether or not their child uses a smartphone under their (the parents) own roof is the day i find another country to move to. Eff that. This girl's parent can absolutely manage her phone and internet usage.

I live In a State of One Party Consent

but trust me, that doesn't give any kid in my home the right to tape me. When DHs youngest son lived with us, his phone rule was to put the thing in the kitchen by 9PM, not to be taken til 6AM when he got up for school. We also, because of his crap behavior with the phone, ended up getting him a flip, pay as you go, phone.

So, yes, OP has every right to make "rules" for phone use in her home, especially with what her SD is doing. It's called consequences.

I think you misunderstood, I

I think you misunderstood, I am agreeing that they take the phone. What I am saying is that LEGALLY in some places you can record people without their knowledge... and you can't do anything LEGALLY about it... but SOME places you CAN sue for being recorded without consent... it's all about what the laws are in your area... so that's something to look into

I Understand What You Mean

I also know that this kind of taping could fall under "stalking" or "harrassment" laws, especially in a one-party consent state, as mine. So, this SD needs to be corrected. If it were one of my DH's kids doing this, not only would the phone be monitored in my home, but I'd be clear about my intentions of involving the law should it continue. It's not beyond me. I've already advised DH and his youngest daughter about her frivilous accusation of "mental abuse" by me and him. I have the email and I won't hesitate to hire an attorney should she continue. She has a bit of sense apparently, as she shut her mouth on that lie.

You can't record someone if

You can't record someone if they have an expectation of privacy - such as in their own living room not even having a conversation with the person who is recording.

From Illinois laws:

(a-5) It is unlawful for any person to knowingly make a video record or transmit live video of another person in that other person's residence without that person's consent.

I live in a one-party consent

I live in a one-party consent state, too, so i get what you mean. I've thought about that, too. When SO's nieces were here for their nightmare of a visit, the older one recorded all conversations and would then use snippets out of context to stir up drama. Like "Hey Uncle SO, guess what so and so said about you?" And it would be some random comment that could have been said about anyone, that kind of BS. Due to that and other reasons i'm done with her. But if it were a bio or step child who i lived with, no phone, or they can maybe use their phone at a set time in their room.

Texas has that law. It was great during the CO years.

We recorded every conversation and would roll it out in front of a Judge after they would claim they never said or did the things we testified that they did do. I had a splitter and a micocassette recorder on our phone line. Pre Cell phone of course.

However, a parent can confiscate a phone from kids in their home at their discretion. The recording law has nothing to do with taking a kid's recording device. The beauty of them being minors and you being an adult.

Not happening kid, you can have your phone back when you turn 18. Until then if you want to record the adults in this house, get a rock, hammer, and a chisel or send smoke signals because you will have no access to a phone when you are in this home. PERIOD! DOT!

after re reading my comment I

after re reading my comment I realized how it sounded... my "legally" comment was about the law and what she could do legally regarding the fact that she was being recorded without consent... yes, 100% I suggest confiscating the phone, but what can she do legally about being recorded? it depends where she lives...

Recording is one thing,

Recording is one thing, making it public, putting it on social media is quite another. In other words, you might not be able to stop her snapping and filming but you might be able to stop her doing anything with it.

Just a thought...

Gotcha.

I agree completely regarding the legality Vs the parental acceptability. I always find it interesting when the topic of a child's legal rights Vs parents authority comes up.

We have had a number of conversations over the years where someone takes the position that a kid has "the right"......

Not that this is one of those situations. It most definitely isn't.

We used the single party concent law in our state of residence in SpermLand courts where there is no single party concent rule. That state is a all party concent state. It was always fun for us to roll out the recordings after they sat on the stand telling the court that what we claimed never happened.

She's a minor, that doesn't

She's a minor, that doesn't apply to her.

Personally, I think your DH needs to address this, but in the meantime, call her on it. "SD, do NOT take pictures or video of me". Then he needs to make clear that recording or taking pictures in your home will result in a lost phone.

ETA:

From Illinois laws:

(a-5) It is unlawful for any person to knowingly make a video record or transmit live video of another person in that other person's residence without that person's consent.