Help !!!
Don't know what to do. This is my first blog.
A little info on me: 47yrs old. I have 3 adult children, who I raised alone. Was not an easy task at all. I have 2 grandchildren 5 & 7. My step girls are 6 & 11. Me and my husband have been together 6 yrs. We have full custody, even though I have spent countless hours, days, months.....helping bio mom get her sh,...together. for the first 3 yrs the bio mom didn't see girls at all. I did all raising potty training ect.. My husband had dreams of starting his own business. So I helped him do that that. On return I'm stuck handling all legal stuff paperwork taxes ect. And raising girls too. I've lost countless opportunities for myself in jobs and careers. He refuses to communicate day to day tasks. Just assumes I will be there for kids when out of school, if we argue, he will just leave, making it so I can't because there isn't anyone to watch girls. I'm feeling very respectful. Need feedback!!!
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Time to step way back
He just up and leaves, leaving you to do all the work? Well, time to take off and take time for yourself.
I would first and formost get yourself a career. Leave him to his dreams and child raising. Let him take care of figuring out chld care.
To be fair, if you have not communicated your distress and feelings, then now is the perfect time to do this.
Read posts on here before hand - there are many of us who have taken on more than our fair shair of step-duties when the bio parents fail to parent their own kiddos.
What do you get out of this
What do you get out of this relationship? I hear that he gets a lot. You've raised your kids - yet you are stuck raising his kids, too. It doesn't even sound like he is grateful to you for all you've done for him, he just expects you will continue.
47 is young - what more do you want to do in life?
I was thinking that too. Why
I was thinking that too. Why would you want to be live-in daycare when you've already raised yours? Also, I hope OP has some kind of stake in that business. If they split up, she hopefully gets something out of the work she's put in.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your comments. I think over time I have lost my ambition and motivation. I love my husband and love my step girls, but I can't go on like this. I just don't know how to get out. I have communicated until I'm blue in the face. I try and disengage so he will have to step up. But then I wind up with a destroyed house,furniture ect. Or have to lower my standerds and live in a filthy disorganised home. When he is home he stays outside in garage. So over it....
Oh hell no. Being a Mom is a
Oh hell no. Being a Mom is a thankless job and the only role I can think of that is even more thankless is being a Stepmom. You will have absolutely nothing to show for yourself. Your husband sounds like he is being selfish. Get yourself a job and start giving yourself an escape route now! I am in my early 40's and raised my kiddos. I can't imagine starting over again with raising someone else's. I am looking forward to pursing my own interests and recreating and traveling kid free.