Hypocrite
I am a mother to 6 children that have stayed out of trouble, the first four are successful and I have 2 in elementary school. My husband came in the picture 4.5 years ago. He is a great provider but has always wanted things his way (you know after we were together for 6 months).
For example, he said my children could not come home after college. He said they should be out of the house about 18 years of age.
He said that I couldn't help my oldest daughter with her car because she needed to be responsible. She was in college.
He has told me several times since the boys were little how I didn't need to hold their hand, lay down with them at night and the list continues.
However, his only biological daughter is pretty much a failure. He made every excuse why she was allowed to stay in the house without paying rent after 18, graduating high school by the skin of her teeth, and failing 3 quarters of college. He signed on her second car, she could lie and say she did chores and he would stick up for her and now she joined the Navy and is pregnant by someone other than her husband (BTW- she snuck off and married him). Now he has 500 reasons why we need to furnish her housing and take care of her. If I say anything, he starts saying that he will take care of her because she doesn't have anyone else, that she has never been responsible, she lies and is secretive but he is willing to look over it. It causes so many fights because I want him to understand it is not fair. He cannot expect so much from my kids but excuse her because she is a selfish woman.
any advice?
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Comments
I would have ended it at the first “he said”.
Why are you still with this failed father and overbearing asshole?
I would tell him to go to
I would tell him to go to hell, and do what I want for my own kids.
Seriously, if he can do for his, you can do for yours and he can't say crap about it.
There is a difference between helping your kids and enabling them. He is an enabler. And a hypocrite. And controlling.
Do whatever you want for your
Do whatever you want for your kids, since clearly he does for his. Not sure I could stay with a guy like this, though.
Frankly i would have called out the double standards
And hypocrisy at least 3.5 years ago and not been blunt about it.
when i had to addressed the double standards and hypocrisy between hubby with our minor kids and the crap nonsense of hubby and skids (2 adults & 1 teenager), i had to rehash actual scenarios and the different substandard treatment and behaviour towards us vs the superior first family treatment.
it wasn't till then it clicked for my husband how i was feeling and viewing things and they were valid assessments and he made changes. He doesn't allow skids to lie and blame or use me and our 2 young kids as scapegoats for their pathetic behaviour.
he just makes it clear that as elder siblings, they should be setting an example for their younger ones and he's disappointed that they're not even doing that on purpose out of spite
I agree with everyone else,
I agree with everyone else, stop sitting on this and wondering what to do. YOU KNOW what to do. He can shove it and allow you to parent as you see fit or he and his daughter can GTFO. He doesn't get to demean your children while catering to his. That isn't how any of this works.