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SO RELIEVED!

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Sun, 09/19/2021 - 6:03pm

STBXH (1st time typing that) is now clear I am done. It went better than I could have asked, and now my worst fear is behind me. I clearly, peacefully, and thoroughly said everything I needed to say, and he didn't get angry or arguementative.

Deep down he knew. I am relieved he is being respectful, and that he owned his part & totally shifted gears to acceptance. 

 

Comments

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Sun, 09/19/2021 - 7:28pm

Hey, StepU,

So glad to read that STBXH  seems to have settled down! I must caution you, however, to not let your guard down too quickly. My ex, despite giving an outward show of acceptance, a few weeks after my departure, had a few humiliating scenes to demonstrate before finally giving up. He was a control freak and, more than any other factor surrounding our divorce, he hated losing his dominance over me.

Be careful Hon; stay safe! Your DH has always struck me as a narcissist and they HATE rejection.

 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 09/19/2021 - 9:07pm

Do you plan on staying in contact with him or now that he knows you are done will you put him completely behind you?

My XW wanted to date after the divorce was final.  She had this big continuing romance plan of how I could keep my company and return on weekends to run the company a s I could stay with her and we could be lovers.

Nea

  I sold out to my partners, left the state, and did not return until I had completed my undergrad and remarried.  I have not spoken to her since the divorce hearing in July of 90.  I think her plan was designed to salvage the opinion of her family, my family and our common friends. 
 

I did see her and her family In a restaurant once in ~00.  It was sad.  She groused at her DH and their two out of wedlock progeny just about the entire time I was in a lunch meeting.  I don't think she saw me.   Far from the beautiful dynamic young woman/college athlete I had married, she looked like she had been ridden  hard and put up wet for the entire decade since I last had seen her.

Take care of you.  Enjoy your new life adventure.

 

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Sun, 09/19/2021 - 8:37pm

We have an advanced-age dog so there will be some regular contact, technically STBXH's but nearly deaf & losing vision so staying with me as I WFH f/t and I'm much better able to provide care. STBXH also likely getting a 1-bd apt with no yard. Dog cannot get into my vehicle anymore (no depth perception, can no longer jump that high), but can still get into the low-to-the-ground midlife crisis car. Gets taken to the park since its now too far for the dog to walk, where he walks in the grass & connects with his dog friends. Its the highlight of the dog's day & he needs it.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 09/19/2021 - 9:10pm

I completely understand.  I just hope this does not create a conduit for him to maintain a place in your life from which he can maintain his drama campaign.  

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 09/20/2021 - 6:02am

Hopefully the calm stays and you can get through this divorce will minimal drama!! 

I am glad you are finding peace finally!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Mon, 09/20/2021 - 8:26am

Fingers crossed that STBXH maintains the good behavior and acceptance. However, like grannyd, I fear he might hate rejection and try to reassert control. Take care of yourself, darlin'!