Ok- only been married for 2 years- am I really ready to call it quits? Possibly. If any relevance, I'm 51, he is 42. Dad doesn't know boundaries with my 2 SDs. One is 9 and the other 22 this week. Little one is a daddy's girl, nothing I say matters, she will go behind my back (or even whisper to daddy) if Ive told her no. Daddy's says I'm mean to her, always telling her no. I witness more than he does. Her momma, (they were never married) basically stalked me when she heard daddy was dating. Messaging me, telling me what a loser he was, etc. I was scared to leave my apartment sometimes because she had driven by my place many times. Anyways- I often had to tell husband to set boundaries with that woman. She laughed them off. She's also threatened to "beat my ass"  He was afraid to say much in the case she would keep his daughter from him. In the long run, I helped him with custody and clear the air. To this day I'm not a big fan of momma but will tolerate when we are at soccer games, etc. It took her getting a man for her to finally show some respect. (Although he has left her twice and now they are still together) not my issue really. I try my beat to raise a young lady, but, she's a brat. Can't stand her saying "da da da da da da da" constantly. Has had a cellphone form the time she was 6 (momma bought), goes to bed but dad allows her to watch tv till she falls asleep even on school nights. I remind her to shower and brush teeth, clean room, pick up after herself, help feed dogs...etc. it's such a chore to listen to me. Speaking of chores, I can't make a chore chart, he has taken it down. Claims just tell her (well he can't pick up after his own self) my own granddaughter helps when she visits. And she treats my grandughter like shit. Husband claims the granddaughter is a brat (even called her a little ni**er before) she's mixed. He likes to call people ugly names. 
he calls most people names, curses and yells claims I make him so that because he never has before been like that. Daughter will sleep with him if I'm out of town, I said that's a little old to be sleeping with daddy. He yells at her a lot too, claims it's the only way for her to listen. Has told her to shut the fuck up when she said "I love you daddy"!! But he and I were arguing about something so he took it out on her. I got Covid earlier in the year, his mother is a drunk, smokes cigarettes, pops pills, was in a coma many years ago for almost committing suicide and is on an oxygen tank, yet tells me "if my mom dies of Covid, it's on you" that broke me. He has kicked me out before, calls my family names and dislikes our closeness I'm sure. 
he complains about his dumbass workers that work doe him, nobody can do like he does!!! Yet the same people get invited to come back to work. 
The oldest, well she is a druggy. Mom is a druggy. We are not a rehab, although he has put her in several times with no real changes. Relapses and wants to come back. He always lets her. He even gave up his awesome contracting company a couple of years before we met to qualify for Medicaid to get her help. Did that work? Obviously not. I've had my oldest addicted to heroine, I tried rehab, twice...but there comes a time when you stop trying when they just aren't ready. I'm at my wits end. I don't want another divorce, but when will he see that I stand my ground because I know what he is allowing and it HURTS EVERYONE!! My kids have had it out with him, they don't care to come around. He compares my love that I have for my grandbaby to the lack of love I show for his little one. I don't like her. She's a brat and whines, pouts and cries if I get on to her. He makes excuses for both his daughters. Just this morning we talked a little and his response was "I know that once this passes (and points at me and my body, Im going through pre- menopause) that this will all be better. ONCE AGAIN- no responsibility, no fault of his or his actions always someone else's fault. 
Marriage Counseling went well when the counselor said what he needed to hear, which was that I should be sympathetic to his needs and his children. (We went maybe three times)  My own counselor (that I see regular for a year now) says "he is narcissistic, co-dependant and is not honoring thy wife"

what do y'all say? Please help/ advise the stepmom from hell! I will add, I am not. I grew up with one myself who was mentally, verbally, physically abusive- NONE OF WHICH I AM.