My one area of Not Disengaging

As many of you know we have been fighting over CS and alimony forever. Years. No actual ruling has been made in... 7? 8 years? It was all on temp orders waiting for BM to turn over her financials.

Based on the temp order, showing BM not making any money, DH overpaid Alimony by 5 months. Her attorney swears that DH still owes like 8 months.

Based on the current temp order DH is paying CS based on BM only getting disability. We all know she works full time but lies. So, last year (I can't even remember when) our lawyer subpoenaed specific months of bank statements and her 2017-2019 tax returns. In court back in April the judge also told BM to include her 2020 tax returns.

She has yet to turn any of that over.

Our lawyer spoke to the judge and asked him to light a fire under BM's lawyer. I guess our lawyer is going to reach back out to the judge on Friday if we haven't gotten anything to decide if the judge wants to make this a contempt hearing (apparently that is how they do things in small town Kansas... I hate everything about it!!)

DH's current military contract will have him get out after 23 yrs of service next year. SS won't have graduated yet, so we will still be on the hook for CS. DH doesn't want to continue but we are too scared for him to get out without knowing how the judge will rule on the alimony and CS- BECAUSE NOTHING HAS EVER ACTUALLY BEEN DECIDED!

I hate that once again, BM is controlling our lives. Now we will likely have to decide on going back to court. Rolling the dice on DH's career. All while knowing that since it is an open case if we don't do something BM will just come after DH once SS graduates for a money grab so she can keep getting HER money.

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If she has been working, her

If she has been working, her tax returns will show that. That is why she is stalling on turning those documents over. I would not give up on this and make sure she hands those documents over and your attorney should inform the judge that temporary CS and Alimony should be halted in their entirety until she supplies the required documents. We are done with CS, but it takes 21 days for the letter to go out to the employer, CSEU told DH they will refund him any money that comes out of his paycheck before the letter hits HR. I can't believe we are DONE it's been a long ass 21 years.

We actually did have it

We actually did have it halted before-- for like 2 or 3 months years ago, but then her attorney got it back without even ever going to court. When our attorney tried to get it stopped again he was slammed by the judge for "hurting the child". So we aren't going to do that again... we need the judge to be on our side.

Unless she works for cash

Unless she works for cash like one of my SO's BMs.

That is why we have specific

That is why we have specific months of bank statements. She would make deposits, not just carry cash. If we can show regular deposits we can prove she is working for cash.

Well it takes time to doctor

Well it takes time to doctor tax paperwork, not that they seem to care. I almost believe your BM could just walk into court demand more money for as long as she likes and they would give it to her.

It boggles my mind that

It boggles my mind that someone can drag out complying with a judge's order for so long with no consequences. Or that it would even occur to someone to do that, I would never even consider it. But I guess it's reasonable on your BM's part to keep trying to get away with this stuff because she hasn't been held accountable even once thus far.

This. And she gets off on

This. And she gets off on disregarding everything, especially when she gets feedback that it's frustrating you.

Even if her tax returns don't show anything, she still wouldn't comply.

Subpoena

Any CREDIT CARD or LOAN applications she may have applied for. Have a credit check run on her!

I just told DH what the

I just told DH what the lawyer said and he is HOT over it all. He said that if we have to file for contempt because the judge won't just order a bench warrant for the information that he wants to file a formal complaint against the judge.

I just let him vent away. It's not like that is even an option. There aren't other judges to take over, he is the only one for hours. We are talking RURAL area. "Ok honey, well, you really need to be the one to talk to "Lawyer" on Friday, not me. I am not able to make that call."

You probably already have done this but

have you contacted your local represenatives and apprised them of the situation?

I'm sure you are not the only ones that have had sour dealings with this particular judge. Have you considered contacting local (BM's area) media with this info? It's not like doing so will do any worse damage as SS is already quite PASed out... AND that particular judge has totally ruled in BM's fav so it's not like any more damage can be done there. Scorched earth, baby!

This. Legislators, Attorney

This. Legislators, Attorney General, Bar Association...contact them all.

My parents' divorce judge was disbarred due to some of these shenanigans. Preferential treatment, helping out friends, taking bribes if I recall correctly, etc. He was known in the county for being a hardass in divorces, so it surprised precisely no one when he got in trouble.