Have you heard of this?

Peter Falk's law? It's been signed in as law in several US States. His adopted daughter had sued her father to try to force him to pay for her college expenses and then went after his wife to gain control of her father. His wife didn't allow his adopted daughters to go to the funeral. She was married to him for more than 30 years.

After my tenure in StepHell I'm always very suspicious of AdultStep motives. I think his adopted daughter was just mad she was not getting his many millions of dollars. He was a womanizing cheater and often absent from her life. Peter Falks law gives AdultSteps the right to get control of a dying Daddy over the wishes of his long-suffering wife. This should be a warning to a lot of us I think. When you are dealing with your husband dying abd trying to protect him against his toxic, selfish abs greedy relatives you'll be dragged into court. It is worse than Grandparents rights laws.

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But he adopted her, though,

But he adopted her, though, right? Not that any parent, adopted or bio, should have to pay for anything in adulthood. But still....adopted has to count different than step.

I have done a lot of research

I have done a lot of research on this law because I work with seniors through our state's DHHS. The law has only been signed into effect in Arizona, Hawaii, New York, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

While the law specifically states: "Clearly, the intent of Peter Falk’s Law is to ensure that children from a previous marriage as well as other family members are not denied the right to visit their incapacitated parent and/or loved one by a current spouse who is a guardian/conservator with whom they may have a poor relationship. The law in essence requires that the court appointing a guardian to address the issue of visitation, notice of transfer to a medical facility and death in the initial order appointing a guardian for the incapacitated person. Ultimately, the goal is to prevent a guardian from improperly isolating his or her ward and/or limiting visitation."

This is why I am a huge advocate for a DPOA, which allows the incapacitated person to outline their wishes prior to becoming incapacitated. It just requires a doctor's note to activate. They are easier to uphold so the person can add stipulations that they don't want skids notified of medical care or financial matters, etc. Either way, if you have proof of an estranged relationship with skids long before the incapacitation or if skids are left out of their parent's will/estate per the parent's wishes, it can be very easy to overturn. To win a case like this, these kids are going to prove that they actually visit and care about their parent. It's hard to fake that and I've seen it fail many times throughout my career - estranged kids only showing up when the parent is dying and money is on the table. More times than not, the kids have lost in court proceedings.

Interesting thank you. Later

Interesting thank you. Later I'm going to have a conversation with my husband. We don't have the millions Falk had but I have to protect myself and our kids from AdultSkid in the future.

Just have an open and honest

Just have an open and honest conversation with DH. If he wants to have visitation with skids and wants them involved in his life, you won't be able to stop that as his DPOA or legal representative; this law, if enacted in your state, would give skids that ability to fight you on that if you tried.

That being said, this law would not give skids control over your DH if you were DPOA or his legal representative. It just says that as his DPOA or legal representative, you have to notify them of hospitalization or severe medical occurrence, you have to allow reasonable visitation, and you have to notify them of his death and funeral arrangements. It does not entitle them to any money or decision making power over your DH - that is all left to the medical DPOA and/or financial DPOA or executor of the estate. This law is solely for notification purposes.

Skids would lose in this fight if they tried to use this law to argue that they are entitled to financial compensation or decision making power. That is not the intent of this law. Like I said, a DPOA is always better because it allows the person to write out their own wishes for financial and medical needs, similar to writing out wishes in a living will. Guardianship and conservatorship are a little harder, because it means the person is already incapacitated, so the courts make the decision "in the best interest of the person." As many of us know having gone through the court system, the courts don't always make the best decisions in the interest of people. I always say a DPOA is better if you want your wishes to be upheld.

I’m in australia and my brother has done this.

Actually sent messages to me saying he and his wife abandoned my elderly dad over lies they invented but then sent nasty messages to me and my husband effectively disinheriting me because his wife's happiness was more important than my share of inheritance.

Actually cared for my elderly dad and mum before she died and financially too. My dad has done a will in secret assigning a large share of his estate to me and the reasons why, my brother claims his kid being autistic/disabled means he should get more of dads estate if not all. My elderly dad is not financially responsible for a grandchild he has no relationship with that my brother has prevented my dad from having

after my brother admitted disowning my dad and refused to go drive to see him 15 mins away when he was seriously ill and had to be admitted to hospital, forcing me who was living o/seas to rush overnight on a flight with 2 toddlers to rush him to hospital for treatment and operation, my dad said he was cutting him out of his estate. My dad is in the process of transferring half of the family home to me which i have to pay stamp duty/taxes for so when he dies, i automatically become sole owner of that. My dad doesn't want freeloaders feeling they get to choose when they're family and their sense of entitlement because they now wish to be considered family and it angers him that my brothers wife feels she has an inheritance right to my parents estate above me and that i have no rights.

deaths bring the worst in people

My family has several family

My family has several family members that are like this. Before my grandpa died, he put a stipulation in his will that stated "if anyone contests their share of the estate/money, they will lose their share in its entirety and their share will be divided amongst the remaining heirs."

This single clause prevented all fighting and no court battles ever ensued. My grandpa left pittance to two of his sons and left majority to my Dad and his other son. They were the only ones who ever cared for him or did anything to help him.

My DH has an estranged daughter and I can't imagine forbidding her from seeing him in the end. A visit is not going to change his will.