You are here

My husband has Covid. BM is mad at him for getting sick!

Biostep7777's picture

Omfg!!! What is wrong with this maniac?? My family has been SUPER careful with Covid. We have all been vaccinated and still wear masks and everything. My husband had to go back to physical work in June. They have been good about either employees get the vaccine or wear a mask. He still got it from an unvaccinated coworker. 
 

Obviously he had to tell HCBM. She came back with how she is SO CONCERNED about this. How she's upset he had the kids over the weekend and exposed them (as if he knew! He was fine all weekend. Started getting sick on Monday) and how this could interfere with her work if she gets it and how it could ruin the kids camp if they got it. Mind you.... they have acted like Covid isn't real. She has taken them on planes, sent them back to school ASAP, they have been going to summer camps, playing sports, going to birthday parties, She has told my husband he's "paranoid" about Covid and she refuses to vaccinate the kids. She also said she's so worried the kids have it but they tested negative today so she sent them to camp because they shouldn't miss out on anything "because of his illness". So she's worried the kids have it but sent them both to camp anyway?? She isn't worried that they have had 10 Covid scares between camp, friends, sports but she's super worried they had a Covid scare with DH? Lol!!! She's truly unbelievable and why does she insists on telling him what her opinion is??? Again. This isn't harassment?? Blaming him for being sick even though he has been extremely careful? He has to work!!! He's vaccinated, he wears a mask. It's not his fault.  This thing is super contagious! Wtf. I hate her so much. He's doing well BTW. The vaccine seems to be doing its job and keeping this at bay.  Why is she such a monster? Who tears someone apart for getting sick? 

CastleJJ's picture

A narcissist tears on someone for getting COVID, that's who. I hope your DH ignored her. He doesn't owe her an explanation, only a heads up since it impacts visitation and led to an exposure for the kids. 

Our toxic HCBM emailed DH last summer freaking out that my job was a potential COVID risk to SS. DH was unemployed during the shutdown and I was working as a director in a nursing home that had zero cases ever due to strong infection control practices. DH ignored her because my work risk was none of her business. BM then went on about how she wouldn't feel safe sending SS for summer visitation because I wouldn't disclose my risk or details about my job. She was SOOO concerned and how dare DH withhold that kind of health and safety information. DH emailed back stating that he would be seeing SS per the court order or he would be filing contempt, especially since BM WORKED AS DIRECT CARE STAFF IN A HOSPITAL. BM ended up emailing back some nonsense, to which DH replied, "I will see SS on x date." We never heard a response and all visitation went according to plan. 

DH and I never ended up getting COVID throughout the whole pandemic (still havent) and both of us got vaccinated as soon as we could. We still practice social distancing and don't attend large events with huge crowds. BM on the other hand sent SS back to school and daycare immediately, had SS doing high contact sports throughout the whole pandemic, had SS over at friends houses and sleepovers, traveled across country for vacation, gone to amusement parks, etc. SS has had several COVID exposures (we only know this because the school and daycare sent out emails). We dont know if BM, GF, or SS ever got COVID and I know damn well that BM would never share that information if they did, just to save her own face. BM told SS that the virus isn't real, even though she again works in a hospital. Oh and SS informed us that BM and GF are refusing to get vaccinated and wont vaccinate SS when it's available to him.

The logic of these HCBMs is "do what I say, not what i do." There is a special place in hell for these type of people that use anything possible to abuse others. 

Biostep7777's picture

And his kids have not even bothered to call or text him. They are exactly like their mother. I find it very hard to like them. His does DH even deal with kids like this? He's so hurt.  

CastleJJ's picture

Skids are a product of their most influential environment; in your case, BM. We only see my SS9 6 weeks per year so we know, in all likelihood, SS will turn out just like HCBM, unless by some miracle, he sees BM for the toxic lunatic she really is. All you can do is support DH in his grieving process and understand that skids may never have a great relationship with DH (or your family) due to their PASing mother. Pity skids because growing up in a PAS household is an unfortunate way to be raised. Accept the things you cannot change and try to find peace. 

Biostep7777's picture

True!!! She's saying that she needs to know if me or my kids have Covid, when our symptoms started and that she's not comfortable with them coming here until we all test negative. 
 

As if she has a say over the court order. As if her judgement is all that matters. DH wants their son vaccinated and she said her snd the son wil decide and let DH know! So her and the minor child are making medical decisions and informing DH? What???? They have joint legal custody btw. 

ndc's picture

When does he go to court? Anything scheduled yet? I doubt anything will change before then, if ever. Ignore her as best you can.

CastleJJ's picture

These HCBMs always believe that they can unilaterally make decisions without consulting their coparent because their say is the only one that matters. I don't think skids are making decisions collaboratively with BM, I think BM is calling the shots and skids are going along with it, but BM is acting like skid has a say because she wants DH to feel inferior. 

Your DH only has to let BM know that the household doesn't have COVID anymore or has been released from quarantine. He doesn't need to specifiy whether it is you or your kids. Don't let DH go into detail. 

Biostep7777's picture

He isn't. He ignored her. I can't believe she is demanding to see us all have negative tests before she will let them here. Unreal. Go ahead and try. This will only be yet another contempt! 

Losingit321's picture

I am glad he is ok.  On the flip side my DH had COVID in Dec and my BM send her daughter back home to our house- she didn't have any problem at all worrying about my DH and his "health" even offering to bring him medication... but the kid she had dumped off to us while he was in the middle of the sickness.  

There's no winning with them! 

Harry's picture

That why you have a CO.  As long as DH feels it's safe for his kids to visit. That is all that needed.  Are you going to insist of BM get tested before you send the kids back to her ?

Cookieboom's picture

If you remember BM wouldn't allow BF to see SS  She told mutual friends of theirs that she won’t ever let him him/us near SS because of me being a nurse and the potential of giving them Coronavirus.   She said she would sue me me if they get Coronavirus.   Judge said that is “baseless" and that she (Judge) didn't care that I am a nurse and ordered BF to see SS.  Typical from these women....Hope your DH feels better!!