Baby pictures, leaving out SD
My BD's are 3 years old and 3 months. I'm getting baby pictures done of my 3 month old and I would love to get a few shots of her and my 3 year old. My husbands already mentioned it would be messed up to get photos of them and not include SD. SD is 15 and has been nothing but a headache since me and DH got together, but besides that she does not spend ANY time with BDs. At all. She lives with us full time and I can count how many times she's held baby girl on one hand and my 3 year old sees her maybe 30 minutes a week (not even an exaggeration) as she only comes out of her room to eat. I don't see the point in her taking pictures with BDs when she doesn't spend any time with them. I feel like that's BS and puts up a front like they have some sort of a relationship when in reality they really don't. I get she could feel left out, but I don't plan on hanging them up around the house, they'll just be sent to MY side of the family (aunts, uncles, cousins) so to me that's even more of a reason not to include SD. Am I wrong?
Yes, I agree with the above.
Yes, I agree with the above. Get different "combinations" of people together for photos. When SD is a sourpuss and frowning in all the photos, then you can show DH why you won't be printing those. But you atleast extended the invite.
Sadly, I had to do this at our wedding. DH was forcing SD to join in on pictures she wanted zero part of. I was only able to print maybe 2 or 3 pics of her. I told DH I refused to print and hang pictures of SD looking absolutely miserable when it was supposed to be our "happiest day". He totally understood.
Yes I think her advise is
Yes I think her advise is great as well and that's what I will do! Thanks for the input and I'm sorry she ruined your wedding photos lol
Lol, you're welcome! We still
Lol, you're welcome! We still had some awesome shots of just the two of us and also a bunch with family. It was just a bummer that she had a terrible attitude the whole time when we definitely went out of our way to make her feel included. After this is definitely when I started to disengage. I wasn't going to force a SP relationship if SD wasn't ready for one. It has to be a two way street.
Including her in the session
Including her in the session does not mean that you have to buy any shots with SD in them.
Focus the session on the baby and your toddler, individually and together. My suspicion is that SD won't dress for the event if she participates at all.
Don't fixate over SD ruining something that the odds she will participate in are slim and none at best.
If DH throws a fit that there are no pics of his failed family progeny.... give him the pointed message of what a "baby picture" is. A 15yo is not a baby.
Tell him that you will happily sponsor her "launch" photo session is three years just ahead of her departure from your home and family. Once she turns 18, she should have to earn her place in the family and home continuously. If she does not like that burning platform, she can jump into her own life.
Enjoy the baby pics.
My skids have no relationship with my kids (their half
Siblings), they just like to put on a fake show for my ils who see right through their bs!!
for religious holidays obviously with ss23 who lives with hubby, he will be in our family pic but always fuc*s it up and his aunts will tell him to clean himself up and not screw up our nice pics.
But we always have pics together (me, hubby and our 2 kids) and also hubby with our kids or me with our kids.
when skids try to take pics you can see the shock and distress from my kids at who these strangers are!! Sd's love to take pics and show off to all their cousins from bio mums side just to rub it in that they're related to white people...
I don't see a need or purpose for my kids to take pics with strangers
"when skids try to take pics
"when skids try to take pics you can see the shock and distress from my kids at who these strangers are!! Sd's love to take pics and show off to all their cousins from bio mums side just to rub it in that they're related to white people... "
Wow, I don't know if you realize how incredibly racist this makes you sound. Do better. Yikes.
Make sure you get all the pictures with your kids you want
Then even if you have to pay a little extra have some with SD. But I would not print any with SD. If DH wants them he should pay for that.
Thanks for the advise
Thanks for the advise everyone! I already know it'll be an issue with DH since it was an issue when my first borns pictures rolled around. He wanted SD in those too and I was like this is my first baby, why can't she just have baby pictures alone, plus my mom was paying for it. It caused a huge rift but eventually he got over it and saw my side. I guess the easiest thing to do now is ask her if she'd like to participate and like most of you said I don't have to print photos with her in it. My dilemma now is she is at my SILs helping with her kids (which is hilarious because she never helps me) and I don't know when she'll be home. We're having pictures done on Wednesday. Should I text her and ask her when she'll be home and see if she'd like to participate?
If she is not there to
If she is not there to participate...... oooops.
Haha 5 minutes before the
Haha 5 minutes before the photographer arrives "hey SD! Wanna join us? Oh you can't get here in time? Too bad....."
Haha. That would've been so
Haha. That would've been so much easier but she came home last night. I'm hoping she goes back there before so I won't even have to ask her. I just have a feeling she'll want to be included and I'll just want to barf the whole time. Plus I'm sure she'll be dressed in all black and just kill the vibe completely lol
Make a stand about that. You
Make a stand about that. You don't get to participate in baby pictures dressed in black. Sorry, kiddo, but it has to be something summery. Do not be apologetic about it. If she persists, then your DuH can pay for a photo shoot with just her in the pics.
PS - warn your husband in advance and make sure he understands that it is not negotiable. He wants photos of a ghoul, he pays for them but a ghoul has no place in happy, summery baby photos.
Do both
Include SD, but then do separate of your bios. That is the fair thing. You dont have to buy a bunch of her!
I tried family photos but have always been forced to include SD22 Feral Forger. This year I think its just going to be us and the dog, and cat.
Go take your bios and get the
Go take your bios and get the pictures done.
THEN have another date with all the kids.
Do you think BM will invite your kids for a group photo opp? Since they are 1/2 siblings to her daughter and all. Does SHE call you and ask you to run your kids over to her house for family photos at Christmas in front of HER tree?
Sweetie, these are your children. Go get their pictures taken, enjoy this moment. IF dh would like you both can schedule all the kids to get their pictures taken. Nothing wrong with wanting your own bio's in a few pictures, ok?
Not morally or legally wrong...either.
BM isn't in the picture
BM isn't in the picture otherwise that would totally be my argument lol. I've done Christmas pictures of just my BD since she was born and DH doesn't know because that would probably be an issue too. Although it's nothing fancy and not a photo session, just a quick picture with Santa and throw it on a card to send out to my family, some of which forget I'm a SM anyway.