BMs instability
I hate how BMs instability ends up affecting my life. Whenever she starts dating someone new/breaks up with them she completely changes. In the time I've known DH (6 years) she's been in 4 different relationships and went from planning on ditching SD altogether to move, to demanding exactly 50/50 (not a day more), to now wanting her all but one weekend a month. And of course whenever her situation changes, big or small, thr expectation is that we will just adjust to whatever she needs.
Well, BM is now in a relationship again after being single for approximately a year and a half. She's madly in love with a man she's met in person once and who lives halfway across the US from her. So what does that mean for us? Will she leave us alone for a bit since she's preoccupied, or not really since he's far away? Will she decide to move quickly? If she does Will she want SD to come with or expect that we rearrange our household to take her fulltime again? Time will tell I guess.
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Exactly and they drag the
Exactly and they drag the kids through all this and pass on their instability and impulsive decision making on to them. BM was a major pain in the ass unless she was preoccupied. Whenever she was pregnant or moving life was pretty good and everything worked out smoothly. When she had her hail mary vow renewal she was way too nice and easy going. She was even trying to get DH to hang out and take her out during her divorce and using SD as bait (he turned her down and told her he wanted nothing to do with her but will gladly take SD). As soon as each event was over (like the very next day) she was back being a raging b****.
Your BM sounds pretty similar. Honestly, a lot of them are just this way. They're all screwed in the head and go around spreading misery because they are miserable beings themselves.
Generations
Our late BM was an unstable person, too. On top of her tumultupus personal relations, she didnt work so had, shocking surprise!! money issues. All of these things affected us.
Now, her daughter, SD59, is in the same boat, tumultuous relationships with everyone and money issues because she doesn't work. And, today, I got a call from HER daughter, SGD38, related to her money issues because she doesn't work, either (sorry, SGD, no can do).
I was just thinking today that nobody else in our large family affects us like these do.
I read this and have
I read this and have flashbacks to ET.
She and XH#2 split up, so she's living with GBM for free. Yay!
Wait, they're back together and got kicked out and are homeless! Fuuuuuu...
WAIT AGAIN, they've split and ET is dating someone new who she is going to marry, but XH#2 is still taking care of the kids. At least she has an apartment and job now.
Wait, nope, new BF is gone and XH#2 is back. And ET lost her job. Again. And again. And again.
Wash, rinse, repeat for a few years.
Oh, XH#2 filed for divorce? He ACTUALLY left for good? Sweet Jesus, it's an Easter miracle! Oh, wait, ET is dating a MARRIED man, swell...
Oh hey, they broke up and now she's dating someone new. But, she has a job and isn't asking for cash so cool.
Oh, and now they're engaged? Wait...ET is engaged but not to BF of 5 months but some new dude? And they're moving? Aaannnnddd...ET quit her job.
Can't afford the rent? Eviction?! No where for YSS to go?!?! Welp, looks like I'm a FT SM now.
Oh, ET and DH#3 are on the rocks? He moved out? She told the boys he was probably cheating on her??? And now he's back???? Oh well, at least YSS lives here now...
That has been the last decade of my life, with other bumps and money grubbing along the way. Never quite sure what ET has up her sleeve, though she doesn't seem to plan any of this crap. Your BM is the same, I feel: only sees what's happening today, and eff how it impacts tomorrow or other people.
Yes, she is the same. Except
Yes, she is the same. Except she's (mostly) fairly tight with money and has people to bail her out when necessary so we don't really have to worry about that part. When it comes to her love life though she's extremely impulsive. And the entitled attitude means she expects others to cater to whatever she needs when she needs it. Typically that means taking care of SD because she changed her work schedule or whatever else.
This makes me feel slightly
This makes me feel slightly better about BM. She makes good money...but still has money problems (i.e. she's a regular at the casino and has an enormous unpaid tax debt even though she's an accountant) that means she is always trying to extract more from DH. She has also lost jobs before (in the best example, she was in a partnership with someone else and that partner dissolved the partnership because he thought she was extorting money...she probably was), but has enough skill that she can work on her own. When I met DH she was married to husband #2 (whom she met when she and DH were still married). Now she is divorced and dating someone whom she met before she even filed for divorce with #2...I think Skids even met him before she filed for divorce and they seem to spend every weekend together and have since about December, according to skids (she filed for divorce in January). DH and I have a wager on when this guy will become husband #3. I say March, he says November. She was married to DH for 10 years and H #2 for 4, so my bet is that she'll be on to hubby #4 before skids graduate from high school (in 3 years).