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Sorry to blog hog. I have to get this out!!

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 4:46pm

I got home and DH was just sitting on the couch and SS was asleep still. 

I said something snippy to DH and walked upstairs opened the door and told him to get up and pee in the drug test cup I just got. He "couldn't pee". (It's been 2 hours now, I wonder how long he is going to hold out)

Then as he came in the living room I looked at DH who just looked back at me. I said ok fine. I will do this.

Me: Tell your father what happened

SS: I snuck out with "bob" and we went to the school and I had cigarettes in my pocket. I didn't know it was against the law to be at the school

DH: *blank stare*

Me looking at DH: Seriously? Fine. (Back to SS) do you really think the issue is being at the school? Do you realize if you got hit by a car we wouldn't know. Your driver's license is for Kansas. They would have eventually gotten ahold of your mom and maaayyybbeee we would have eventually found out you were hurt. You also put your friend at risk. You complete lack of regard for me is disgusting. You didn't do this when your dad was home. It was ME you chose to disrespect.

SS: I understand 

Me: I don't think you do. You call me to get picked up by the cops yet you can't even respond to me about wishing your father Happy Father's day?!?! That's our relationship??

SS: (Shrugs)

Me: I get you dad doesn't want to spend the 6 weeks a year riding your ass about your behavior and that's fine, bit I don't give a fuck if you hate me. I will make you accountable from now on. 

Go get a trash bag, clean your freaking room and get your Laundry started. Tomorrow yard work starts. All my flower beds need weeding and your dad didn't have time to do the timing over the weekend. That is your job and you will wake up when I do in the morning. 

SS: yes ma'am

Once he leave I just look at DH and said I am over it. I will be evil stepmom. 

I think I scared DH too. LOL

Comments

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 5:02pm

I hope it doesnt bite you in the butt later - like it did with me.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 6:26am

At this point I don't care. 

I have my 2 kids to worry about and his bad influence will not be tolerated around mine. 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 5:33pm

Good for you!  With all you do for your older stepson, and all the support and assistance you have given your DH in the fight for the younger stepson, your DH needs to step up his game.  Sitting there saying nothing doesn't cut it.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 6:28am

YUP. I told him when we went to bed that I didn't appreciate him making me the evil step mother. I am not supposed to have that role. He doesn't have a problem with supporting me and parenting SS21- this shouldn't be an issue. 

He just kind of looked broken. The whole situation sucks and the choices SS16 keeps making around us just make it so much worse. 1 month in the summer. Just don't do anything illegal and we can go have fun. But that is too much to ask apparently! 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 12:28pm

This is how my DH is reacting with YSD15. I'm certain it's due to PAS with OSD and he's scared that she won't want to see him any longer so he does nothing regarding parenting. I'm so done with it I don't want to be around them when she's with us. The pandering is just too much.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 5:48pm

You must come back and tell us the results of his test. I'm emotionaly invested in this story now. And "can't pee" is a load of crap. Maybe if he were age 50, but a teen should be able to go within 2 hours. Give him some water and watch him squirm trying not to pee himself. I'm so mad for you and what he and BM put you through. Acting all holier than thou and policing your (legal) alcohol consumption. 

LittleCloud9's picture

Submitted by LittleCloud9 on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 6:40pm

Be sure to tell us how the drug test turns out! Stand guard at the bathroom with the pee cup! Besides drugs take a long time to leave your system. If you don't get him today there's tomorrow 

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 6:48pm

Hopefully SS hasn't learned about dipping his test, it will render it inconclusive. 

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 7:49pm

Was he supervised when peeing?  He could use toilet water for all you know.  Could it be he's vaping CBD?  Which wouldn't show unless in large amounts.  

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 11:11pm

You're finally getting something for the $50k you spent.  The most expensive yard work in history.

 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 1:39am

Your H will never drop the rope.  I'm sure SS knows how to cheat drug tests... his boss works for the dispensary. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 6:23am

I almost spit my coffee! "his boss" - that is what BM is, isn't she! LOL

Even as mad as I was last night, I still feel bad for DH. 6 weeks a year isn't any kind of relationship. He doesn't want to spending grounding and punishing SS. When we went to bed he said that SS asked him what he and I had decided for his punishment. I told DH I am out of it with the exception for his phone. It is mine for 2 weeks. 

DH said that he is canceling our tubing trip for the weekend- SS was really looking forward to that. I said good. That is a start. 

We have a tropical storm rolling through today so yard work is out until the weekend likely. I don't know what will be actually done besides the trip being canceled but whatever. I know that taking his phone is killing him. We didn't let him have it to tell his friends or girlfriend what is going on. So he is all freaking about just sending one text so people know. Nope. Not happening. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 6:40am

Your DH should send a text to his GF to let her know he's grounded, and she can spread the word from there. I know that's not always the popular approach, but kids worry about their friends. If they don't hear anything for days on end, kids WILL freak out. Especially if SS is known by his friends and GF as being "courageous" and "outgoing" with a bit of wild side. A quick "SS lost phone privileges and won't have them back until he gets back to KS" won't do anything to SS, but might make his friends/GF feel less anxious.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 10:06am

I wish I could care but I don't. If DH wants to let it happen, fine, but I am not giving him back anything. 

SS's sister is up his butt so I am sure she took care of it. That is a whole other dynamic that just makes me sick to my stomach. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Submitted by TheAccidentalSM on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 4:52am

Your DH should be scared of you.

ExhaustedByItAll's picture

Submitted by ExhaustedByItAll on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 5:59am

Enough's enough, he doesn't get to pull that crap and get away with it. I'm glad you've stepped in with the consquences even if his dad won't.  

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Thu, 07/08/2021 - 10:52am

OH also as an FYI_ CBD flower smells JUST like the real thing- and unless he's doing a LOT of CBD a test will be negative.  Can you guys just ask him to be honest as to what he's doing?  Explain the danger of high thc stuff to the teenage brain?  My son developed all kinds of mental health problems, paranoia, anxiety, psychosis- symptoms that mimicked schizophrenia even!