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O/T : Psuedo-married & Dating

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 2:51pm

I just had to share with you all. A friend of mine is single and of course dating. She met this guy who is "divorced". However, he and the ex and the 16-year-old son all have dinner together every night. (Yes, like a family.) Then he goes to his apartment at night. They had a few dates before this information came out. If this wasn't bad enough, what truly blows my mind is he truly cannot understand why my friend has a problem with these family dinners and told him they're not on the same page (She's a lot nicer then me). "He's a good father." "It's for the child." It leaves me to wonder, are there women out there who would accept this? 

Comments

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 2:56pm

I think you'd have to have really low self-esteem to accept a situation like that. Is she even invited to join them? Not that that would excuse the situation... 

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 3:04pm

I'm curious is the guy newly divorced or is this something that has been going on for years? Then I would be curious if he's a cheater who thinks he won't get caught?

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 8:01pm

Yes, it sounds like an odd situation.  So many liars out there, your friend needs to be careful about who she lets into her life.  Whenever I hear about these "separated" men I think of Chris Watts who was married, living with his pregnant wife and two daughters, while lying to his work girlfriend.  I would ask to see the divorce decree to make sure he was really divorced.  

MissK03's picture

Submitted by MissK03 on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 3:07pm

Sadly... probably. Sounds like of a lot of enmeshment going on there. Hopefully she ran away haha. 
 

If I met my SO in the beginning of his divorce I would have ran... His ex in laws were still living with him after BM left, skids were 4,6,7.. he just started his new trade in the company he works for, his hours were terrible and as he says he was "floundering." Between his parents and the ex in laws he needed help. 
 

I am not exactly sure on the time line (he doesn't even really remember) of how long the ex in laws stayed with him after BM left but, I do know he was dating someone while they were there and used to call her some name I don't remember. BM told me this.......... How that girl even attempted to date SO while the ex in laws were living with him is beyond me. BMs mom is a terrible person. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 3:41pm

will not stop!  Chef's "co-worker" aka Mr. No Life is still doing errands and visiting his ex-wife on a regular basis although she has a man in her life for the past at least 15 years!  They've been divorced for like 20 years and all of the kids are grown.   

The BM in this case had a kid by a previous relationship when Mr. No Life met her.  Then had two more.  All he did was child chase and kiss the BM's ass and STILL DOES to this day.  None of the now adult children have ANY respect for Mr. No Life as the BM completely alienated all of them against him except to do errands and hand out money--buy me this-- buy me that.  

To this day he refers to his ex-wife as his "friend" and he "does it for the kiiiiiids" (although long since grown).

I should add that Mr. No Life wouldn't DARE move on with his life and I guess that is just as well since he is still kissing his ex-wife's ass.  I'm sure if he attempted to move on the BM would be up in arms!!

I should ALSO add that Mr. No LIfe had HIS elderly parents move in with him, which I guess is nice but his dad recently passed and his mother I guess is a pain in the arse.

That's dating GOLD right there!  /s

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 3:36pm

There are women out there who will accept it but hope that things will change. In the beginning of the dating stage, they figure they don't have the right to say, "That doesn't work for me". 

Instead of moving on, like they should, they tell themselves that as things get more serious, they will come first, not the kid and ex. We see how that mindset works.

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 4:10pm

I'm sure there are women who are desperate enough to settle for this.  There are women who settle for far worse.  That shouldn't be the standard, though.  A man who has dinner with his ex wife every night is not available for a relationship.  A self-respecting woman would not settle for that.

Felicity0224's picture

Submitted by Felicity0224 on Mon, 04/26/2021 - 5:43pm

I feel bad for her. Surely she knows deep down that this is very likely not as innocent as she thinks? If she were my friend I would beg her to run the other way. There are too many people out there to get involved with someone who is enmeshed with his ex.

I've not really made it a secret here that my H had an affair several years ago. He had (according to the messages I saw after I discovered their affair) convinced her that he and I were switching off staying at our home with our daughter and a staying in a small apartment. That was why she couldn't come to "his place" because he was sharing "both" of "his places" with me, but we weren't ever staying at either place together. Whenever she stalked my social media and would confront him about us traveling together, etc he would tell her that it "for our daughter" and that we had separate rooms, blah blah blah. The reality was that I had no idea what was going on or that we were supposedly separated, nor did the "other" place exist. And many, many of the trips and social engagements that she questioned him about, our daughter wasn't even there. But this woman allegedly bought it all hook, line, and sinker. A small part of me just cannot believe that anyone would be that gullible, but I suppose people believe what they want to justify doing whatever they want.