Feeling down today
I am feeling down today and hoping typing it all out will be a pick-me-up. First off, a friend died yesterday. I live in paradise around a lot of older folks, and the reality is that we can't hide from death around here.
A few years ago ago I lost 30 lbs. I've been bad during Covid, and at the store today trying on clothes I realized I gained it all back. Welp, that's my own fault and I can do something about that.
I am also down about this step situation I continue to find myself in. Today DH was invited by OSD46 to SGD8's First Communion, which takes a plane ride there. I was not invited, but I have not seen these people for almost 6 years so I think it's a given I would not come.
Even though I would not go anyway, when these things come up, it's a reminder to me of how:
1. At first, my DH chose to ignore how his daughter treated me.
2. When he couldn't ignore her behavior anymore, he then made excuses for it.
3. When he couldn't make excuses anymore, then he would get mad at me. AT ME. It tore him apart to tell his Princess Daughter that she wasn't behaving appropriately, and of course when he finally did she didn't take it well.
Those years are long gone and the only choice I had was remove myself or get divorced. We have found ourselves in a content marriage of companionship.......we have absolutely no problems until I get reminders of his kids behavior and how he chose to ignore it. That's the burn I have in my stomach.
He told me recently he thinks OSD46 is "coming around" and the reason she didn't like me was because we used to argue a lot. Gee - what were we fighting about? HER! Her involvement in our marriage and his reluctance to address anything with the She.Who.Must.Not.Be.Critized.
And so even now, he's making excuses for her. She didn't like me because "we argued"......it couldn't have been because she was entitled, thinks the world revolves around her, can't stand to share attention with anyone else.
And so should I feel relieved that OSD46 is "coming around"? Ha. As if I would want a relationship with a person who tried to convince her father I was emotionally abusing him and many other things I have detailed here over the years. Can someone like that change to being a nice person? I just don't think so.
It's not fair to his SGD8 for him to not be there for her First Communion; she's a child and looks to be a sweet one. And honestly, he doesn't go there much.
So I am just dealing with my feelings today. Thanks for reading.
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I know exactly how you feel!
I know exactly how you feel! 25yrs of dealing with this crap! Only in the last few years has my SO had to face the fact his two daughters were as bad as their sociopathic mother! I want nothing to do with either of them anymore. So many times I've turned the other cheek to "keep the peace". No more! Their behaviour especially in the last few years has been atrocious. Which began this time with the awful BM splitting from the second husband after a few years marriage. We know from the past everytime she splits up with a man(and there's been many)she starts trying to antagonise us through those two SD's, abuse by proxy.Even after 25yrs!
The oldest SD had a kid 2yrs ago and last Christmas it started already waving the GSKID card for the purpose of emotional blackmail. I knew it would only be a matter of time, but that was fast even for her! Lol. Iv never come across such ungrateful, manipulative,two faced, greedy, entitled lying human beings ever! We brought them up and completely supported them both financially and emotionally since their mother was not interested at all, she did the bare minimum she could get away with nor did she contribute a penny towards their financial needs.However, we certainly didn't bring them up to be the nasty individuals they are. It's, both genetic and the influence of their BM. Unfortunately the apples haven't fallen far from the tree. I would tell you SO your not interested in any kind of relationship with this woman after years of being abused and mistreated even if he says she's "coming round" So what! It's way too late tell him. He should have had your back long ago just like my SO should have! Hope your feeling a bit happier now. X
Sorry you've been feeling low
Sorry you've been feeling low. I can completely identify with your words "......we have absolutely no problems until I get reminders of his kids behavior and how he chose to ignore it. That's the burn I have in my stomach."
Like you I have a lot of anger and hurt going back many years on how I was relegated to third place after DH's two princesses. DH chose to ignore the way they treated me, rather than man up and confront them about it. I was (and still am) disengaged - which worked as the least worst solution to the situation, but still meant I felt lonely and neglected EOW for over a decade. DH regrets now the way he allowed them to behave to me, but the damage was done.
So OSD46 is "coming around" - well whoopee - put out the flags - or not. I shouldn't imagine it will make the slightest difference to the way you feel. There are certain things in life that we can't forget - and being treated like shit on a long term basis is one of them.
If OSD46 is "coming around",
If OSD46 is "coming around", she can demonstrate it by making a sincere, heartfelt apology. Until then it's just more BS from DH.
First off I am so sorry to
First off I am so sorry to here about your friends passing. When we lose someone it can bring us such sadness. I lost a good friend almost 2 months ago and now 2 more members of her family have died of covid. It can take a toll on our spirit.
I think this and your step family is hitting you at the same time. Your friend is grief and your step family is triggers. Oh the triggers can kill a mood in a New York minute. They brings us back to all the cr@p you dealt with over the years. It is almost like you are living them over again. The hurt comes back. That is why you may feel so down. And now your DH thinks OSD is coming around. LOL Sorry but this should make you laugh. Hey you have to live with the truth and well you know that is not going to happen. You are just fine when you don't hear a word from or about her. That should tell you something right there. That is where your peaceful life is. Not waiting for her to "come around". Sorry that you are dealing with this again. Good news the way you feel today may be gone tomorrow.
Oh and everyone I know has gained weight this past year.You are not alone. Welcome to the club!!!
Don't worry about the Covid
Don't worry about the Covid weight. Almost everyone's in the same boat. At least we get to enjoy loungewear as daywear for now!
My condolences on your loss
So sorry you are having to go through all this (again). Some folks are just always going to live their lives in the dark.
How your DH has the audacity. As if dangling a carrot, hoping you will "be happy" about this.
Well, sending you digital ((hugs))
Covid weight...
We in aust got through last year mostly unscathed (in Sydney)...at 3 months in to lockdown I FEEL you with the weight gain. And with the feeling flat in general....and with all the other rubbish.
so sorry about your friend.
and I'm the age of your SDs. When I hear about bitchy people like this I think "sucked in. You must be so insecure". I shouldn't. I should feel bad for them. But I don't. I think they are nasty and miserable deep down. People who are happy with themselves do NOT behave like that. They just don't.
xx