What to do if my husband brought his daughter to live with us without my agreement

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Hello

Iam stepmom since 8years, my husband's 2 daughters live by their mom, his son lives by us since 5 years. My concern is that my husband is planning to have his daughter to live by us. He knows that I don't want that.her mom doesn't want this as well. But my husband is trying to convince his 14 years old daughter to live by us. How I can politely and smartly prevent that. Also, legally , is this right to bring her without my agreement. Honestly, I barely handling his son, I don't need another teen in my house

Thank you

So, this sounds like your

So, this sounds like your husband is trying to alienate his kids from BM, which is harmful to them. Trying to convince a kid to leave the other home and stay with you is emotional abuse. So if he doesn't care about his kids' well-being, why would he care about yours?

This would be a deal-breaker for me- both that he didn't care about my feelings, and that he didn't care about his kids' needs, and is trying to turn them against their mother. Is he doing this so he doesn't have to pay child support?

Not really

He doesn't care about child support. He did even offered her to keep the child support as is when his son came by us

He wants his kids with him , that's it emotional only

It's not healthy to do this

It's not healthy to do this to his kids - they need their mom too. Even if he thinks she's a terrible mom, she's mom, period.

I would have no respect for a man who did this to his kids.

My ex, not my kids dad, used

My ex, not my kids dad, used to say that his son was the only thing in this world that was his and no one could take him away. I would tell him that it was super weird to say it like that, a kid is not a possession (it never went well for me to go against him). It sounds like your H is like this too. His kids with him at any cost- they are his. Be careful... my ex was an abusive narcissist who thought he owned me as well.

Just say. NO

Or start making an exit plan. This shows no respect to you. Or BM
Your SO has a problem

Absolutely not, and what kind

Absolutely not, and what kind of Disney dad tactics will he employ to bribe her to stay? That's not parenting and that's not healthy for the kids.

Are you financially able to

Are you financially able to leave the situation if you want/need to?

You have a right to have a say in this decision. This isn't a case of abuse where the children need to come stay with you for their safety. This is an active decision that your "partner" is making without you, which shows that he doesn't actually see you as a partner or equal in your marriage.

No! End of discussion.

No! End of discussion. Inform DH that if his 14yo moves in, you have the locks changed and he and his children can move into an apartment where he is entirely repsonsible for their care, feeding, schooling, etc... when they are with hiim.

He clearly doesn't care about

He clearly doesn't care about your opinion and seems to be doing what he wants regardless of your opinion. Since he is alright doing it with or without you.. let him do it without you and save your sanity!!!!!!

Update

Two days ago, my stepson who lives by us told me that his mom tried to register his sister in the high-school and that the school district did not allow her as the girl is registered under my and my husband's custody, something I totally don't know about. So, I asked my husband , he said me and my ex has a joint custody. As I'm not familiar with the rules in USA, I called the school directly. They informed me that my name and my husband's name are in her papers as owners of custody. They don't even know her mom's name or phone number. How a girl can be under the custody of her stepmom? I don't even know about it. She lives by her mom already ? Is custody suppose to be a legal document? How can I know the truth. Surely, I'll not take it from the mouth of my husband