What is child support for then?
My husband pays a lot in child support and I mean a LOT. His ex also expects him to pay for all extra curriculars as well as all expenses to go along with it AND 100% medical/dental/ camps/private lessons/speech therapy and pretty much everything rxceit for food and clothing at her house. This doesn't seem typical to me. She is saying she makes a lot less then him so he should pay for all of this because she doesn't make much but she has a degree from an Ivy League college abd has CHOSEN to work only part time to "be with the kids" even though they are now teenagers and DH works from home so could be with them literally anytime needed. So why should we face to go broke because this is the choice she has made?? She could definitely get a full time job making a lot more then she does but she feels so entitled that she feels DH should pay out his ass for everything even though he can be with the kids because that's what she feels entitled to. Unreal. Oh they are on the process of getting a CO after almost 6 years of hell on earth with this woman.
BM can blow whatever bullshit
BM can blow whatever bullshit she wants out of her own ass but the only thing DH has to pay, and should pay for that matter, is what is COd in the Custody/VIsitation/Support order.
Usually CS is the entire support that the NCP owes to the CP to care for and raise the children other than when the kids are on NCP visitation. Often the CO will also require that the NCP provide health insurance and to pay half of any medical costs not covered by insurance.
Then in one of your responses to a comment, the bomb dropped. Your DH signed this redicuolus agreement. Bad move. I doubt you will get much relief from going to court. Judges rearely will gut a voluntarily entered into agreement between Xs when it comes to spousal and child support.
The high road, more often than not in the blended family world, is a path paved with stupid decisions.
I hope I am wrong about your court effort.
Well it was just an agreement
Well it was just an agreement not a CO. They are recalculating child support. He's over paying. There's no way a judge is going to hold him to something he signed 5 years ago right after a divorce when she didn't have income and now she's making much more money. You can ask to have it recalculated even if you have a CO and circumstances change. Which they have. The agreement is incredibly one sided and not even reasonable. He was on a bad place and she pretty much wrote the whole thing. She has broken the agreement constantly and the circumstances are completely different now from when they signed. The judge is going to most likely just do the standard agreement. Child support, he will pay for medical insurance and the spilt other expenses 50/50. What reason would she have to give her all of that? There's no way. Oh and they have joint legal and physical. Although it's more like 60/40 but he still has them enough overnights for it to be joint legal and physical.
For your sake, I hope you are
For your sake, I hope you are right.
He did sign an agreement. Yes, things change. However, Judges do not tend to make significant changes to pre-existing support levels that both parties have agreed to when there are signatures to back up the agreement.
That's what I'm afraid of but
That's what I'm afraid of but circumstances have also changed. She already changed some of it anyway. Child support will most definitely be readjusted because it's a calculation and they calculated her having no income before and now she makes a good amount of money.
For your sake, I hope you are
For your sake, I hope you are right.
He did sign an agreement. Yes, things change. However, Judges do not tend to make significant changes to pre-existing support levels that both parties have agreed to when there are signatures to back up the agreement.
Here, he would be obligated
Here, he would be obligated to pay CS (probably full support even with 50/50, but my state is weird that way, most states base it on overnights). He would have to pay for part of health insurance and any uninsured health costs, part of day care costs, and part of extracurriculars, based on income. It will be less than what he's paying now because BM will have to pay a share, but beware - some judges fall for the whole "I need to be home for my kids" thing and don't make women work full-time like they do men.
The kids are older. She
The kids are older. She leaves them at home alone all the time. They are in middle and high school. No reason to have daycare and they get off the bus right in front of her house. They are certainly old enough to be alone for a little while. They already are. She goes to work for hours and leaves them. Not only that but DH works from home and so do I. We are both 100% available. He pays 100% medical through his employer. She would look completely ridiculous if she said her middle and high schooler need her home when they get home from school when she already usually isn't there anyway.
Fair enough, except that high
Fair enough, except that high conflict BMs are expert liars and really good at getting sympathy from judges.But it's still not likely he'll pay as much as he does now.
Oh agreed!! I literally just
Oh agreed!! I literally just posted another topic about a trip we have planned and sports and how she lied to the judge. Lol!
I agree!
BM lives in an $800,000 home that was "gifted" to them by her parents when they were married, BF moved out when they seperated/divorced (Mortgage was paid for when gifted to them), She drives around in a brand new Volvo SUV but claims she is "broke." (BF also pays alot in CS...Way less than my XH and we have two kids, not one!!) She too went to an Ivy league school (That DADDY paid for) but can't hold onto a job longer than a year. She recently told BF that she is going to "sue" me for CS if we get married. I told BF that I didn't bust my but working three jobs to put myself through nursing school to pay a woman CS that I didn't impregnate. I told BF that if we do decide to get married it will be WAY after ss becomes an adult...yes I agree!! The audacity!!!!
Your DH still has a think for BM
He putting BM first before you and your family. He is the father of the kids and a few $ more here and there is one thing. But support a BM who is working part time. Over you. Is a different thing
Time to have that talk with DH. Telling him you are going to controlling the money from now on. They will get CS. Approved medical type expenses, and other money approved before it's spent. Not just a bunch of receipts what you don't really know what it's for. I.e. drug store. It's is for SK or BM.
LOL!! I think he would throw
LOL!! I think he would throw up if I ever suggested he still has a thing for her. He is absolutely repulsed by her. To be clear, he doesn't give her anything extra. She EXPECTS him to because he agreed early on to take on the medical and extra curriculars so she could get on her feet and of course he wanted to make sure the kids were taken care of. The issue is that she still expects it 5 years later and says "well he should pay because he makes more than me" we are in the process of getting everything readjusted and he has only paid for what he is required to pay for that's in their agreement. The issue isn't that he's paying her extra, the issue is she is trying to get the judge to have him pay for everything because he makes more than her and because he has originally agreed but he hasn't been doing that for like 4 years. The agreement is so ridiculous. He really screwed up by agreeing to that in the beginning. He realized it real fast and has been through hell trying to get it straightened out. Hopefully we can get to court soon!
Your DH is lying or not
Your DH is lying or not revealing the full story
Is the CS being paid through the attorney general or is it just a random agreement between themselves? You need to find out
If you dont have court ordered visitation yet, then you can just use the standard possession schedule until the court has determined custody
Clearly custody will go to her as the kids reside with her. Until that is determined, just use the 1st/3rd/5th week schedule
Lying? Lol. I have full
Lying? Lol. I have full access to everything. I have the agreement, his email password, every single document. My husband is the most honest loyal msn ever. Not sure what you think he's lying about. It was a separation agreement between them and when they got divorced it just stayed an agreement. I don't need to find out. I have the agreement documents. We do have CO for custody. They have joint and it's not visitation. We got a temp CO and waiting on court. I have been involved every step of the way.
Because you mentioned that he
Because you mentioned that he was paying child support and do not have a court ordered visitation in place....That isnt possible unless he is paying child support directly to her without a court order
You are saying that he is court ordered to pay child support but normally when this happens, there is an Agreed/Non Agreed Suit Affecting Parent-Child Relationship (SAPCR) order issued by district court that states visitation rights, possession and access schedule (reduced/standard/extended), conservatorship status (sole/joint/main), and child support
The order is signed and finalised by both parents in court and then the 1st child support payment/visitation schedule start officially on the 1st day of the month following the order...
Not sure how you can be ordered to pay child support and not have visitation schedule established
Also visitation rights have nothing to do with the amount of child support. The most important thing is the status of conservatorship and income ration (depends what state you are in, but they calculate this based on a flat percentage where i live)
Either you are confused on the process or he is hiding things from u
Most states use some variant
Most states use some variant of the Income Shares method which does factor in parenting time. It sounds that your State is one that does.
The problem is that when an NCP agrees to a support level with their X, signs an agreement, and establises a history of that level of support, Judges are hesitant to significantly reduce support regardless of what the usual support calculators determine is appropriate.
I agree with you that this whole thing strubbles to pass the smell test.
I hope for the OP's sake that the court outcome is what she hopes for.
Yes but in this state you can
Yes but in this state you can go to court every three years to readjust if circumstances change. They will simply recalculate. This will definitely be recalculated because we simply can't keep up with the amount of crap she signs them up for expecting DH to pay. The agreement was supposed to be "in good faith" she has abused it so badly that we are going broke. It's completely not the intent of what they agreed to and she's making a good living now. No reason for him to pay the amount he is paying and there's no way a judge is going to keep it the same since circumstances have changed. If she does?? Well we will deal with it.
Generally CS review can be
Generally CS review can be initiated either every two or every three years depending on the State that has jurisdiction. Change of circumstances can influence CS review in less than the two or three year period.
It is fairly rare for a change of circumstance CS tmreview to have a significant impact on CS either way.
My SS's Spermidiot tried it once when after10+ years he finally got medical insurance for SS that he had been ordered to provide before SS, then ~12, had turned 2yo.
The NCP tried to have CS reduced because he was now providing insurance and was claiming reduced income due to a recent reduction of hours.
The Judge disallowed both requests and admonished him for attempting to deduce the recent (13 mos earlier) 300% increase in CS that had been ordered. The NCP had to continue paying for me to cover SS on my employer provided medical insurance and added two more years to the CS review exclusion period.
He doesn't really care about
He doesn't really care about having it reduced. It's more about wanting to split out of pocket expenses otherwise she doesn't care what she spends. It's easy to spend other people's money.
That's not how it works here.
That's not how it works here. I'm neither confused nor is he hiding anything. I'm also a divorced mom with kids and have been through this process myself personally. They signed an agreement. It's an binding contract however not a court order. In this state you can do this between parties. He is following that however, she has breached it so many times, she takes advantage and it's not court ordered so now we are throwing that out and getting a court order in place. We have already went for an emergency temp order because she decided to withhold them for months claiming abuse. The kids therapists backed up DH and stated there was absolutely no abuse going on. The judge ruled there's no abuse and told her to cut the crap and she gave them joint legal custody and set up the custody schedule. Because the hearing was only about custody, our attorney told him to continue to follow the agreement until our official court date. So, that's what he is doing. In this state if circumstances change, you can go to court to have child support readjusted. Circumstances have changed. She started working and making a good income. However, although she is capable and qualified to make a lot more she is choosing to only work a minimum amount then stating the agreement should stay the same as far as child support. Which is bologna! It's already going to change because circumstances have changed. She just doesn't want us to thrive. She wants DH to pay for everything and she wants to work as little as possible.
For whatever reason, people
For whatever reason, people on here often think their area's rules about custody and child support are the "truth". The truth is that all 50 states do it differently.