I have a step son. I am trying to not shut this kid out my life. His father doesn't make it easy for me when he says things to me that make me feel stupid and under valued. He doesn't discipline his son enough in my opinion. We have to tell him to brush his teeth change his clothes ware boxers or socks...really like your 11. I dont want his son to hug me if he isn't ready. His dad is always telling him to hug me before he leaves and if he forgets to tell him I dont get a hug. If I hug him he will hug me back.... His son destory toys or things that I buy him unless I tell him they are from his dad as well.. I have been with his dad for 4ys and his son has spoke my name once. He gave his dad a Christmas gift this yr and a nice card. I couldn't even get a thank you for anything I do for him. I really want to love him because il never be able to have children of my own and I want to be his friend and have a relationship with him. We do have some funny conversations and he does just talk to me about stuff but nothing is ever about his feelings and he never asks me for advice. I feel like I'm a just a temporary solution been feeling that way since I started dating his father. I get so upset with him over breaking his toys and things I spent my money on. I ALWAYS spring for the large gifts and the cool vacation or day trips. I'm really done doing this stuff after this Xmas he told everyone thank you for the gifts ans then just looked at me and changed the subject... oh what do I do....i don't want to hate this child and when I ask his dad does he talk one on one with his son about me to see how he is feeling he says no.. I told his father I feel like he hates me. He days he doest but how do u know he gets him every other weekend and he lives with his grandmother who I know hates me.